Disclaimer: I do NOT own ANYTHING! It all belongs to Joss Whedon - I just borrowed some stuff :)!
A/N: Thanks to my great Beta EveryLastDrop! *cheers*

And, warning, it's a little OC and cheesy. Not like Buffy (or Spike) would act with Joss writing the show.But it's my story, so I decide!:)

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The necklace dangled from his left hand. Sunbeams trickled through the heavy gem and cast little reflections on Spike’s face. He blinked as they met his eyes and took a deep breath.

He’s been sitting on ‘his’ cot in Buffy’s basement for quite some time, pondering over the day to come. He knew he was the right choice for the amulet, he knew he had to wear it to win the battle, he knew … that it would kill him. Spike sighed and shook his head at his premonition.

Why now? Why do I have to play the soddin’ hero now?

Last night, when Buffy lay snuggled up in his arms, content and warm, he'd felt so happy and delirious that he wasn’t able to grasp every detail of their first night ‘together’. His un-beating heart tightened at that fact. Time is precious - No, time was precious. The final hours were heralded and there was no way to escape his destiny.
A hundred plus year were about to come to an end, he would leave the planet Earth for good. He would spend his after-unlife in a demon world, maybe even hell, Spike knew that. His last years where he helped the Scoobies and fell in love with a human girl, for whom he got his soul back, wouldn’t stand a chance against a century of bloodshed and destruction. Not even his possibly key role in the last lesson of ‘Apocalypse-Prevention 101’ would get him out of his doom and torture.

But Spike didn’t fear his fate, he merely smiled at that. He loved his life as a vampire pre-Buffy and he didn’t want to deny his past because it made him the man he was now. No ponce, no bad poem-writing virgin, but a bleached blond, cocky, and good-looking vamp with attitude and strength. What’s not to like?

Plus, Spike loved his life post-Buffy even more. His dead heart almost started to beat whenever he saw, touched, or sensed her, his mind started composing poets again and above all things, he loved her so much that he got his soul back…for her.

And that made him feel uneasy, almost afraid. Spike was going to die to save the world, to save her, and he would have to leave her for ever. No bravado, no cockiness any more. His heart and soul feared the end as much as his inner ‘vampire’ eagerly anticipated the fight. And he was aware that the vampire would win his inner turmoil, he wouldn’t wimp out only for the sake of being with her. He would do the right thing and save the world to give her a normal life with a husband, kids, and a white picket fence.

Spike was proud of Buffy. She figured out how the slayerettes could be as strong as her and thus have a greater chance at defeating the First. And then…then she could have the life she’s always dreamt of. Finally…

Spike sighed and swallowed his emotions before they had a chance to emerge. This fight would be his hardest and most intense, he was sure. He had to say goodbye to Buffy before…

The door of the basement opened and the small blonde woman descended the stairs. Out of reflex (or good manners) Spike stood up from his cot and faced Buffy with a small smile.
Buffy returned the smile and walked towards him.

“Getting accustomed to each other?” Buffy asked and stopped inches before him.

“Huh?”

Buffy nodded towards the necklace. “You and the amulet.”

“Oh, well, yeah. Fighting buddies and all.”

Buffy saw the distress on Spike’s face and reached her hand out to take his right.
“You okay?”

Spike shrugged and shuffled his foot through the dust of the floor. “I’m good. Big day tomorrow, you know. Fighting the Big Bad and being a ‘champion’ doing it. A lot to process.”

“You don’t have to do it, you know? We are strong …and prepared and … we have a good chance at winning.” Buffy squeezed his hand and tilted her head, in order to make him look up from the floor. He did almost immediately and returned the squeeze.

“I know. But I want to do it. If the trinket is as powerful as Peaches says, we should use it. It’s gonna be a soddin’ hard fight and I don’t wanna be the one responsible for casualties or a defeat, luv.”

Buffy nodded and chewed her bottom lip at the word ‘casualties’ and ‘defeat’. She knew there was a possible chance to lose and it was needed to grasp every straw - just not a straw that could imply losing her new boyfriend and longtime ally. She feared the day to come with every fiber of her being and she felt that Spike had the same emotions swirling inside him.

On the other hand, Buffy looked forward to tomorrow. Not because she loved the fight – although she enjoyed some skirmishes with an opponent – but rather because the fight would be final, an end to the uncertainty of the last weeks. Death or life, it would be closure either way.

“I can’t talk you out of it now, even if I wanted to, can I?” She smiled as Spike leaned in and brushed a soft kiss over her lips.

“No you can’t, pet. I’ve been announced the champion of the day and my ego won’t give that back any more.” He smiled too, and tugged at her hand, motioning her to sit with him on the cot.

“How are the slayers-to-be?” Spike asked as he leaned against the wall and pulled Buffy close to him. With a sigh, she nuzzled her face in the crook of his shoulder.

“They are okay-ish. Frightened of course, but also thrilled because tomorrow they're gonna be real slayers with all the super strength and stuff.”

Spike nodded in understanding and kissed the top of her head. “And Red and Niblet?”

“Willow is wigging out, naturally. We don’t know for sure that she’s not gonna pull a Carrie again. But Kennedy is encouraging her as we speak and I’m pretty sure she’ll find a way to distract her from the boatload of responsibility.”

They chuckled at that.

“And Dawn’s fine, too. She’s spending some time with Xander and Anya. I think she’s less afraid than I am right now.”

Another sigh from her as she tightened her grip around Spike’s waist.

“What are you afraid of, luv? That we'll lose?”

“I don’t know. I mean, yeah, of course there’s the fear of losing the slayers, Dawn, Giles, Willow, Xander … and you.” Buffy looked up from her comfy place on his chest and smiled shyly at him. He rewarded her with a long and gentle kiss and nuzzled her nose with his.

“You’re not afraid of losing yourself? Of dying?” Spike asked in a whisper.

“If it means that the world’s still standing and you’re all still there, then no.”

“But a world without you is-“

“Still a good world. Please, promise me, if I die, don’t do the hopeless romantic thing and die with me. I need someone who’s there for Dawn, who’ll look out for her and help her cope with everything to come. I trust you to do just that.” A moment of silence. “Promise me?”

Although it ripped his heart in two, listening to her talking about her death, he swallowed his emotions and nodded.

“I gave you that promise once before and I won’t take it back. But that doesn’t mean that my world wouldn’t be the same any more if you’re gone, pet. It’d break me, it’d destroy me and I guess I would grieve for you 'til the day I dust … but I would take care of Niblet. I promise.”

Buffy hid her head in his chest again and started sobbing. The physical and emotional stress of the last week took hold of her and his soothing, loving words did the rest. She let her guard down and her walls crumbled. With Spike she didn’t need to hide her feelings, with him she could be the fragile one, letting go of the weight on her shoulders for a few precious minutes. So she did.

Spike held her while she cried, stroking her back and whispering soothing words in her ear, trying to ease the pain. He knew Buffy needed his strong shoulder to cry on right now and he willingly provided it for her. He felt like crying himself, because he knew that they wouldn’t come out of the fight together. One of them was going to die to save the world and he hoped it would be him instead of her.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said a few minutes later, wiping her nose with the back of her left hand. “It all just came down on me.”

Spike hugged her closer to him and closed his eyes as he listened to the steady beat of her heart. “You don’t have to apologize, pet. It’s perfectly normal to let go of some steam. And besides, you’re not going to die.”

“You don’t know that. It could be me, it could be Dawn, it could be you.” At her last words, Buffy sobbed again but pressed her fingers into her eyes to stop the tears from escaping.

Spike cleared his throat. “Could you promise me something, too?” he asked quietly.

Buffy lifted her head again and blinked twice, “Everything.”

It took Spike everything he had not to break down and cry like a baby after hearing her soft words.

“Don’t grieve, don’t be sad. Live your life, find a nice guy to marry and have sprogs with and be the great woman you are. Just … please, don’t forget me. I know it’s a lot to ask-“

Buffy silenced him with a deep kiss, holding his face in both of her hands. The soft lips and demanding tongues met in a slow but passionate rhythm and Buffy didn’t break the kiss until it was very necessary to breathe. After two deep gulps of air, she attacked his mouth again and her hands wandered to the back of Spike’s head, playing with the loose curls.
After another minute of low moans and quiet smacking noises, they separated their lips but rested their foreheads together.

“You’re daft. You really are,” Buffy said, breathing hard.

Spike’s brows narrowed in confusion. “Just because I asked for a tiny thing?”

“No, because you asked for a promise you don’t need to ask for.”

Still no understanding on Spike’s face.

He really can be dense. “As if I could forget you. Ever.” Buffy smiled past her wet lashes and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose.

“Because I was the best foe you ever fought against?” He said it with a shy smirk.

“Because you were the best ally, friend, and lover a girl could have.” She stroked his cheek with her right hand and caressed his bottom lip with her thumb. “Because you loved me enough to look after Dawn and get your soul back. No man will ever do that for me … at least the soul-getting-back-part.”

Spike lowered his head a little and tilted it to the right. “Yeah?”

Buffy chuckled and kissed his left temple. “Now you’re suddenly shy?”

He returned the chuckle and his hands found the way under her shirt. “Well, yeah. I never thought you’d say something like that to me of all people. I was always the evil vamp who wanted to kill you … and later on shag you. And you didn’t like either one.”

She slapped his chest playfully. “It was my job not to like any of it. I’m just glad I never staked you.”

“Tsk, yeah. But just because you never could stake me.”

“And you could never kill me, so we’re both incapable.”

Spike captured her bottom lip between his human teeth and sucked on it playfully. “God, I’m happy we were incapable.”

“Me, too. Besides, I did like something.” She inched closer to his ear and nibbled at his earlobe.

“What’s that?,” Spike asked with closed eyes and a soft moan.

“Hmm, the ‘shagging’ part, maybe?”

With a playful growl Spike had Buffy on her back on the cot. He hovered over her body and stared into her amused hazel-eyes.

“Slayer, I warn you.” He was humming as he started to lick and kiss her neck.

“What? I didn’t do anything.” She chuckled but gasped as he reached a sensitive spot below her pulsing vein.

“Yeah, and driving a man in love crazy with dirty talk is ‘doing nothing’. You’ll see how I do ‘nothing’ now.” He trailed a wet path down her collarbone, between her breasts where he took a deep breath.

“No, Spike. Please …” A pant, a gasp.

“Please what? Please stop? Please don’t stop?” He smirked as he opened the top button of her shirt.
Buffy’s hands clutched his head as hers rolled to the side, her mouth standing slightly ajar.

“Oh, don’t stop. But stop.”

“Huh? That’s not how it goes, darlin'.”

“You remember the …uh…no-sex-rule?”

“No. Not at all.”

They chuckled together and Spike crawled back up, so that he was facing Buffy again. He leaned on his right elbow as his left index finger traced the outline of her body.

“You’re making it very hard to keep to that rule, Spike.”

“That’s exactly what I’m aiming for, Buffy.” He smiled at her with affection and desire.
She bit her bottom lip in return as she scanned his face.

“I really do need something to look forward to after the fight,” she said quietly.

“And that has to be the sex with me?” His voice made it clear that he didn’t believe in it.

Buffy lowered her eyes. “Well, yes. It has to be something good.”

“No, luv. You already have something to look forward to. A nice life without the whole world’s responsibility on your shoulders. A life you always wished you had. You’ll see Niblet grow up into a wonderful woman, you’ll get old and wrinkly…” Buffy scowled. “…and be more than beautiful getting so.”

They gazed at each other with warm smiles.

“How could I ever think that you were an evil monster, when it’s highly visible that you’re kind and gentle and loving.” Buffy swallowed.

“Maybe because I was evil… until I met you. Afterwards I only wanted to please you … in every possible way, and make you feel what I feel. It’s sad that it took me more than three years to achieve parts of it.”

Buffy reached up and touched his cheek. “Because I was dumb and bitchy and … well, I was Buffy.”

Spike laughed and kissed the palm of her hand. “I fell in love with the bitchy part, too.”

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For loving me.” She kissed him again and tugged his black t-shirt out of his jeans. “For loving me although you’ve seen the worst of me.”

She pulled the shirt over his head as she kissed him hungrily. When she reached for his belt, Spike paused and pulled away from her lips.

“What are you doing?”

“Thanking you.”

Spike frowned. “You don’t have to. We can wait.”

“I want to. I don’t want to wait any more because we don’t know what’s going to happen. I want to be with you … in every possible way. I want to make love to you, for the very first time. Don’t you?”

“I always made love to you, you know?” he whispered.

“I know. We’re on the same page now.” She put her hand over his heart. “I feel what you feel.”

Spike didn’t answer, just looked at her in amazement. He didn’t know if she really felt it, if she meant all of it or if she just wanted to ‘thank you’ and have one last good memory. He didn’t care, he just wanted to float in the moment. It was more she’s ever given him, it was more than enough.

And then there were only two people in the world, kissing, feeling and loving each other.In this moment nothing was in their way - no fear, no doubt.

Only Buffy and William.