Chapter 22 - Enigmas

Buffy had the impression that walking down the stairs was akin to being a celebrity meeting the press. Her friends and sister all began speaking at once. Did any of them even sleep last night? She wasn't even hearing what they were saying, there was just too much all at once and none of it gave her any respite from her present state of mind. At present her train of thought consisted of getting another bazooka and storming the institution, demanding they give her back her vampire.

"Buffy?" Dawn's voice came through,"Are you listening?"

"Huh?" she replied, moving past to sit down on the couch.

"Don't you even care that John Westerberg's been financing Fernridge for the past 27 years!?"

"Twenty seven years! Yes, that's exactly how it was..." Giles stammered, returning to his notes,"The celestial alignments are precisely the same!"

"Wait!" Buffy interrupted,"Just..." Then the floodgates opened, she gave a wounded sound then burst into tears, the rest of them fell silent. Giles moved and knelt down before her, touching her chin and tilting it up so they could look in each others eyes.

"Twenty seven years ago the stars aligned in a certain way, they do so again tonight and did so in the 1930s when that time's Slayer prevented the raising of the Gaud. Twenty seven years ago...something must have gone wrong, and now today the time is right again. By all indications and what you've seen at Fernridge, the cult will try again to raise their demon. We cannot let this happen."

"I love him, Giles."

"Yes dear, I know. That is why this isn't a time for tears. Dawn knows a few things too..." Buffy wiped at her wet eyes and sniffed, getting herself together again.

"What do you have Dawn?"

"Twenty seven years ago, John Westerberg started funding Fernridge Institute with his family's money, he's been doing it ever since," the teenager explained,"Lots of years later he met Pauline Montgomery because her father worked there. Westerberg's totally connected to the place!"

"He could be part of the cult. Where does that leave Jane? Would he really hand his own daughter over to a bunch of sadistic demon worshipers."

"If he's one of them," Giles reasoned,"According to the information the Watchers Council provided, the previous Slayer prevented the Gaud from rising by destroying a sacred vessel that served as a conduit through which the demon passed when it rose from Hell. When we arrive at Fernridge we must accomplish many things - find and rescue Spike and Jane, fend off the cultists and any demons, and third we must find this vessel and destroy it before the demon can arise. We're attacking in the day time, there shouldn't be much difficulty...really."

"Really? Giles, come on...do the Knights of Byzantium in all their day time glory ring any bells?"

"Well..."

"We're doing what Giles said, but first we're taking a detour."

***

Boris, as the rottweiler was named, lay in a contented sleep before the unlit fireplace in the study of the Westerberg mansion. John sat in his favored leather armchair feeling every bit as if he was in the middle of the Spanish Inquisition. A hoard of people led by Buffy Summers had essentially barged their way into his home demanding an audience. Unable to offer up any deterrent or threat loftier than calling the police, he reluctantly invited them in. They sat around him, scowling, glaring, Buffy standing in front of the lazing Boris and the youngest of them circling the room like a vulture. Clem opted to wait in the car.

"So, evil cult, how does a man get into that line of work - or were you in a fraternity?" the younger of the two men began.

"Excuse me?" John replied, incredulous.

"Fernridge Institute, where your daughter has been living for the past year," Buffy continued,"It's built on a opening to hell and the people working there are demon worshippers bent on raising something called the Gaud and probably killing my boyfriend and your daughter in the process." John scrunched his face and scoffed.

"Are you quite out of your mind Miss Summers?"

"Not this time. Your family's been in Sunnydale since the beginning, are you really that naive? Or just ignorant?"

"I am neither. I simply find it incredible that you honestly think I would put my only child in mortal danger."

"After what I've seen of this place, yeah I think you're sadist! That place is evil and the man I happen to love is trapped there from trying to get your daughter out before the star aligns or whatever and some big evil demon rises up out of hell! Are you really thinking we're that stupid. Twenty seven years ago you started funding Fernridge, that was the last time they tried to raise the Gaud."

"Quite the little Nancy Drew aren't you? Fine, yes, I know about the institute's past, but it ended twenty seven years ago, and that's why I started giving them money. Pauline was only eleven years old at the time and I knew her father, Dr. Paul Montgomery. He and his partner Dr. Thaddeus were taking over control of Fernridge, but they needed money to get the previous owners out. I obliged. They turned the place around, made it into a haven. Paul and his wife had just had a son, everything was good. Years later Pauline and I fell in love..."

"Your wife was murdered, her fall wasn't an accident." John wore his emotions plainly on his face, hurt and anger at Buffy's revelation.

"Who are you make these accusations!? Opening up old wounds! She was sick, she lost her balance..."

"Those wounds never really healed did they? Is this why you lock yourself up alone in this dreary old house? Trying to forget you have a daughter. We're telling you that tonight they're going to raise the Gaud and all hell's gonna break loose. Are you going to help us?" The tension in the room was suddenly shattered when Dawn gasped."Dawn?"

"There, behind you, on the mantle - Buffy look at the pictures!!!"

Chapter 23 - His Hero

"You might be curious to know why I've kept you alive," said Doc as he hovered over the semiconscious Spike,"The Gaud requires souls you see, I intend to give it yours. The fiddling about inside your noggin was for my own amusement."

"You do realize the second I snap out of this, I'm going to tear your bloody head off, right?" Spike answered, not caring that Doc couldn't actually hear the threat.

"Until that time comes, I've brought you some company." After Doc moved away Spike's vision caught an inkling as to who was being placed in the other bed next to him. Like him, Jane was laid out on a bed, still as vacant and unmoving as ever.

"Bloody hell, Jane girl, I'm so sorry. I screwed up, pet. Maybe cost us both our lives."

"Now, if you'll excuse me, the stars are lining up. It's time to bring back our savior!"

"Right, you do that. I'm just gonna lay here and contemplate your afterlife. If I don't take you out, the Slayer will. Mark my words - or thoughts, rather. Either way, you're dead, fuckwit." He and Jane were alone then, leaving Spike to go stir crazy. He tried to will himself to move, but he couldn't seem to even sense much past the inside of his skull. His brain might as well have been in a jar. Next attempt was to awaken the demon within. The supernatural being felt like it was locked in a cage and unable to break free. What Doc was feeding into his body must be more than just narcotics. Spike guessed there was some mojo in the mix."Don't you be frettin, Jane girl, the Slayer'll come for us. My bird's the hero of this story, hasn't ever let me down, she won't this time either. Come on Buffy, love...where are you?"

***

They parked the SUV outside the wall of Fernridge's property, while John Westerberg pulled his BMW in behind them. The older man's purpose was to serve as a distraction for the others to sneak in to get Spike and Jane out. Once that was accomplished, Clem and Dawn would get them away to safety while Buffy and the others would remains to stop the Gaud from rising. The Scoobies would have a challenge before them to slip past both staff and patients undetected, but Buffy had confidence in them. She however refused to be so patient. Going alone around to the side of the building she sent up a grappling hook to attach to an awning, enabling her to climb her way to the roof. From there she repelled over the edge and searched along the top floor for an entrance.

When she came to the window of Dr. Thaddeus' office she felt a wave of nausea pass over her. To think that she'd not remembered the face of the demon that had stabbed Spike and cut her sister on top of Glory's tower. When Dawn had spotted the photograph of Doc, aka Dr. Thaddeus, with Paul Montgomery and John Westerberg above the fireplace there was the awakening of a very mortal, primal fear within the Slayer. She realized that she had unwittingly put her love in the hands of a volatile enemy. If she lost Spike to the one demon who was his worst regret there would be no recourse, no carrying on. She'd give up.

One bit of luck was afforded her in that Doc's office was empty. In addition the window was unlocked, so she didn't have to break the glass. She felt the compulsion to destroy anything that looked valuable or cherished, but there wasn't the time. She'd just have to settled for killing him if they crossed paths.

At first she was grateful to find the hallways deserted, but grew increasingly suspicious when she found absolutely no signs of life. The institution was as silent as the grave, so much so that the only sounds she could perceive was the birdsong outside and her own controlled breathing. She thought momentarily that she should investigate on the floors below, but there was a sudden oddity rising up through her system. She felt a warmth settle over her abdomen, a flush bloom on her cheeks. She took five quick strides to a not so random door and kicked it in.

Buffy choked back the bile that rose in her throat when she saw him laying on the bed. He wore only a thin and baggy pair of hospital issue pajama bottoms and he looked paler than ever, even emaciated. She knew he hadn't had blood in days, he was disappearing before her eyes into what he'd described a few years ago as a dead shell, like those people in those dusty countries. An sudden anguished cry broke from her throat.

"Spike!" she cried, rushing over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders and pulling his limp body up into her embrace.

"Buffy. Sweet love are you ever a sight for sore eyes. Really sore, I haven't bloody blinked in a couple of days and...oh my aren't you warm...." She began to kiss him, her lips roaming over every feature on his face,"Guess this means we're getting back together, huh? Missed you, baby."

"Spike? Spike? Answer me, what's wrong?" He acted as if he were boneless, weak as a newborn. She held him back from her and his head lulled to the side, his eyes showing no spark. Buffy began to tremble, her eyes widening as fear took hold. She held on to his chin, forcing his face to confront hers. Nothing."Spike?"

"Bugger. Buffy, I'm here, love, I'm in here. You have to get us out of here, they're planning something. Gonna raise some sort of soul eatin' demon."

"SPIKE?!" She shook him, still he didn't move of his own accord. If it weren't for the fact that he'd never had a heartbeat she'd at least be able to determine if he was dead. She was crying now, becoming increasingly desperate."Spike! Don't do this to me, come on! Snap out of it."

"Buffy, get the IV out, it's the drugs." She suddenly released him and he fell back against his pillows. As this happened, his arm tugged against the long tube of the intravenous, making Buffy aware of its existence. Quickly, but gently she withdrew it from him,"That's my girl." She lay her chest against his, holding him, just thanking god he wasn't dust.

"I know we were together last night, I know it was real," she whispered at his ear, her lips grazing over the cartilage and the lobe while she fit her palm over the sharp jut of his cheekbone,"Hold on to last night as much as you can, don't forget it and I won't either. I promise I'll get you out of here, and I'm so so sorry, it's all my fault. I'll make it up to you. Until then remember my skin against yours, remember how warm and happy we were. William, I love you." Somehow a tear streamed out from the corner of his eye. It trickled under his ear and down his neck to be soaked into the pea green colored pillowcase.

"I love you too, Buffy."

Chapter 24 - The Return of the Beast

Giles and Dawn finally found the Slayer in a room on the third floor of the institute, it wasn't difficult to do considering the door had been splintered into a million pieces. Furthermore there was a sound, as soft as a dove's coo, followed by a sniffle. The pair entered the room to a strange, but heartwarming scene. Buffy sat on a bed, cradling her vampire against her breast, kissing his forehead and petting his disheveled two toned curly hair. She rocked him, her tears falling softly off her cheeks and splashing on his face, wet from her sorrow.

"Buffy?" Dawn questioned. She looked up at them, pained and confused.

"He won't wake up," she explained,"Neither will she." Buffy looked over at Jane,"I couldn't chose. I can only carry one of them at a time and if I leave one of them alone, someone might come and take them. So, so, so I just....I wanted to hold him."

"Buffy, you know the right choice ," Spike emoted to her,"Leave me, get the girl out. She's innocent. It's the right thing to do. Don't cry, love, you've given me more in fifteen minutes than I've known in over one hundred years. Let me go. "

"Giles, they've done something to him, like what they did to Jane. I was too late, I've lost him!" Giles quickly traversed the distance between him, wrapping his arms around his Slayer to offer comfort.

"Rupert, you old sod, welcome home mate. Wait a minute, bloody hell, I'm a bit miffed with you, where the hell have you been when my girl's been sufferin'?! Tell you what, we'll call it even if you get me the bleedin' hell out of here!"

"Buffy, Spike is a vampire, remember that, it's not the same as with a person. Despite the soul, the demon is not something that can be made to vanish, the effects of this place are deadening, yes. However I know he's not lost, I swear it. But, listen, we haven't the time. Downstairs in the basement the ceremony has already begun. There's no one in the hospital except for Spike and Jane. The patients have all been cattled into a pit and the staff are surrounding a sacred fire with the vessel to bring forth the Gaud. Willow, Xander, Anya are keeping watch. They're in the middle of a ceremony to raise what they called an emissary for the Gaud. When night falls all hell will break lose - literally. The Slayer must prevent this. John Westerberg is standing watch downstairs, he and I will get Jane and Spike both out, I promise you."

"Ripper! That was inspired! Listen to the Watcher, pet, go save the world - don't die doing it - then you and me can hold ourselves up in the bedroom for seventy something hours and shag ourselves blind....no, make love, that's what we'll do. Buffy, do it! GO!"

"Buffy, Clem's got the car ready to go, let's get Spike and Jane out," Dawn prodded,"I'll be with him the whole time." Spike could feel her strength returning, just a little bit of hope from Giles' promises had done it. Her would-be father let her go and stepped away. She turned Spike's face to hers, giving him a genuine, loved filled smile, then bent down to kiss him hard on the lips.

"That's my girl, go slay 'em! " Buffy let him down gently on the bed, giving his face one last caress before steeling herself and getting ready to march to her duty when unexpectedly a hand clamped down on her shoulder and flipped her around.

"Not so fast, buttercup." They knew that voice, knew it like a cold hand closing around their hearts. Giles and Dawn turned back and saw the newcomer, as well as Jane's empty bed. Buffy's eyes darted behind the risen god to where Spike lay helpless and separated from her. Her wide, panic stricken eyes returned to the restored Glory. The blond haired beast smiled mockingly, seeming suddenly more fascinated with checking out her nightgown and robe rather than the enemies that stood before her."For once the culty worshipers get it right, check me out, this silk is Chinese. I look amazing. Gaudian worshipers are the only way to go, real attention to detail and the smarts to get me a woman's body. God, all the baggy, ugly ass boy clothes Benny wore were enough to make me gag!"

"Good Lord no !!" Spike too was consumed by panic and fear. This was beyond anything he'd ever imagined in his very worst nightmares. Since the return of his soul he had run the gamut of inner turmoil and emotional pain, but never raw, bleeding, soul searing fear."BUFFY RUN!! GET THE BLOODY HELL OUT OF HERE!!! " He lay there motionless as he felt himself losing the tentative grip on his sanity. He tried everything he could to get up, but no so much as his little finger twitched. Glory turned to him and cocked her head to one side like a puppy noticing a shiny object.

"Hey look, they even brought me back my vampire!" She turned back to the still stunned Slayer, the Watcher and..."My key! Oh this like the best day ever!!"

"Dawn, get out of here!" Buffy ordered. Her sister was however too terrified to budge an inch. Glory flopped down on the bed next to Spike, holding his head up by his hair.

"Hey sugarplum," Glory continued, looking at Buffy,"Did you know Mr. Sunshine here has a soul? It's like he's lit up like a Christmas tree!" Suddenly the hellgod smashed her arm against the post of the bed, breaking off a piece that served well as a stake. At that point Buffy rushed her. But not in time."Ooops! My bad." The vampire's dust swirled up in the air and shone like silver, blanketing the bed and Buffy's skin. It was soft and cool, like moonlight. Glory tossed the stake away, coughing and patting herself down, trying to get the filth off herself. Buffy meanwhile was about to have a heart attack."You know what? I'm not here to do the whole opening dimensions thing. I'm over it. After sitting like genie in the bottle this whole time, I've come to an epiphany. I just wanna kill, faster pussycat, kill, kill, kill."

Chapter 25 - Smoke and Mirrors

Giles and Dawn had to drag Buffy from the scene, the Slayer all but comatose again. They didn't look back to see if Glory was following them. Thankful not to have inadvertently fallen as they rapidly descended three levels of stairs, Giles, Buffy and Dawn came into the foyer just as Xander, Willow and Anya came rushing up from the basement, all 6 of them converging at John Westerberg.

"Where is my daughter?!" John demanded.

"No time..." Giles stammered,"We must get out now!"

"No, dammit, where is she?!"

"GONE! We must leave now, she's coming!"

"Who?!"

"Giles?" Willow questioned, and then she saw who he meant. Walking casually down the stairs was the evil bitch that had cost them all so much in the past."God no..."

"Now!" Giles insisted, pushing the stunned Scoobies out the front door. They ran into the thickness of the forest, hoping to find a place to hide. After close on fifteen minutes Dawn was the first to put a stop to their flee, realizing that no one was following.

"Guys, stop! We're safe," the teenager panted, still holding on to Buffy's arm. The others halted, doubling over and holding their stomachs as they tried to catch their breath. Buffy slumped to the ground, close to either passing out or throwing up. Those few fragile seconds before Spike had been killed replayed themselves over and over in her mind in a loop."Buffy?" The Slayer began shivering holding herself while she broke down in tears.

"What's happening to her?" Xander asked, kneeling down before his nearly catatonic friend. Giles sat down next to his Slayer and enfolded her in his arms.

"Glory killed Spike right in front of us, staked him through the heart."

"Oh god, Buffy...Where did Glory come from? Where is Jane?"

"Glory is Jane."

"That woman is not my daughter!" John protested.

"Yes she bloody well is!" Giles shouted, then steadied himself,"Your daughter has been made into the host for Glorificus' return. I'm sorry John, but she is lost. If we had known what was happening at Fernridge earlier, perhaps we could have stopped this from happening. Glory has been brought back by her servant, Doctor Thaddeus, to prevent us from stopping the raising of the Gaud, she is the emissary. When night falls, the stars will align and whatever the Gaud is, it will rise up and devour this place. We must stop it, Buffy must stop it."

"How?" Dawn cried,"How can she? She can't even stand up. Glory's the reason she died, Glory's the reason we all almost died. She killed Spike! Giles, any of you, do you have any idea how long it took her to admit that she was in love with another vampire? How ugly and horrible things were between them before all those walls came down? How can Buffy save the world when she has nothing to live for!" Dawn turned suddenly when Buffy's hand touched her cheek."Buffy?" The Slayer got to her feet and looked at the witch.

"Willow?" she asked quietly, wiping the hot angry tears from her face.

"Yes?" the nervous witch replied.

"The power you had, when you tried to....last May. Do you still have it?"

"No, not exactly. The magic will always be in me, but it's not like that now."

"Can you get it?"

"Not without losing control. I....I'd probably end up being best buds with Glory if I touch that kind of power again." Buffy's face told of her despair."But!! But, Gaia, the Earth, if I asked, she'll lend me some of hers."

"Thank you. Willow, thank you. You and I will take on Glory, no hold barred, we'll give her everything we've got until she's dead."

"The HELL you will," John snarled,"That's my daughter!"

"You're daughter is nothing more than.....oh, god, I'm sorry." Buffy's demeanor changed, she suddenly realized what this man must be going through,"Mr. Westerberg, this is my fault and I can't tell you how sorry I am for giving you hope, only to take it away. Glory is a hell god, she is nearly unstoppable. Because of her the world almost ended. Because of her I was dead for 147 days until Willow brought me back. There is no middle ground with Glory, if she isn't killed she and the Gaud will destroy the world and kill billions of people. She can only exist in the world if she has a human body to inhabit, that ended up being Jane. There is no way to reverse this. Now, I just saw her murder the one man I will love the most in my whole life. My William is dead because I failed him, I can't let his death mean nothing, I have to stop Glory. Then we can rest, then we can mourn, but right now, we have to fight or die ourselves."

***

"Stupid, bloody, fucking smoke and mirrors parlor tricks! Buffy, I know you think I'm dust, but I'm not. Feel me, feel my love for you, I'm still with you ." Spike closed his eyes, amazed he was able to do it, then opened them again. He looked upwards from his position to see the heads of the other patients he was in the dug out pit with. He lay on the cold earth in a darkened cave, the other victims of Fernridge mulling about around him like caged livestock, unaware in their delirious states. He guessed that these were all likely victims of Glory's horrible brain sucking, that likely Jane was too. Were the young girl not mute, she'd likely be babbling nonsense like the rest of them. Above and around the perimeter of the pit were the staff members he'd been abused and beaten by, in addition to Nurse Beckett and Doc, all dressed in ceremonial robes and caught up in a chanting fervor.

These people had power, real terrible power. They'd already managed to bring back Glory and used poor Jane's defensively body to do it. How long before the Gaud was raised and the destruction of the world began? How long before they tore from his body the soul he'd fought so hard for.

Chapter 26 -Empowerment

Willow and Buffy sat in a clearing close to where the others waited. Giles had been consoling John Westerberg for some time now, explaining the history with Glory, from Dawn's creation to the final battle and Buffy's sacrifice. He then explained a little about the rare situation that was the existence, or rather former existence, of William the Bloody. Giles detailed with nostalgia and surprise affection the tales of how Spike had gone from the Slayer of Slayers, to the only vampire ever in all the history of the world to go against the will of his demon and seek a soul, all for the love of a woman. His tale was a hero's journey of redemption that had been cut dramatically and lamentfully short. His tragic ending didn't make him any less noble.

Meanwhile Willow and Buffy lay on the ground in a weird sort of yin yang pose, their knees bent and touching the other's, while their heads lay at their friend's feet. The earth was moist, but not cold, the organic feel of the grass like the soft touch of a mother's hand. It calmed the Slayer, hardly lessening the ache of loss in her heart for Spike, but it made her covet and remember the few moments of kindness from their past. She saw him standing at the bottom of her stairs the night of her resurrection, then the feel of his calloused, gentle hands holding hers moments later. There was such awe and love in those blue eyes of his. Quiet moments after that night, sitting on her back porch, or in his crypt with whiskey from his flask. She remembered her arms tight around his waist as she straddled up behind him on his motorcycle, the two of them winding down the streets of Sunnydale, her cheek on his shoulder. They'd been friends, and then they'd been lovers. She couldn't fool herself to believe that it had been good beyond the act, she'd never let it. He'd made love to her, she had sex with him. Except that one time, that last time. She'd needed him to reassure her at the time of Riley's return that she was still desired by someone. They'd moved together slowly for almost an hour, savoring every motion, every breath, every touch. They'd fallen asleep together, it was only the second time that had ever occurred, but the first time she'd felt safe. But she knew now that she'd always been safe with him.

Taping into the love each woman felt in their hearts for their lost mates, their tears wet the earth and made pleas to Gaia for strength.

"I've never going to love again like this, am I Wills?" Buffy asked, staying calm like her friend had told her as they let theirs prayers be heard.

"I don't know Buffy. Tara was everything in the world to me, but I can't live thinking I'll never love again. Maybe you will, in time."

"I don't think so. It was different with Angel, it was first and new and I was young, but Spike was different. Spike and I had to fight for it, we had to want it bad enough. He got his soul for me, no one has ever made that kind of sacrifice for me. No one has ever loved me that much - I don't think anyone ever will again."

"Love is a beautiful thing, you loved Dawn enough to jump off that tower. Spike loved you enough to earn his soul. Nothing but good can come to someone who loves that much and is loved that much."

"I'll never love any other man but William Suffolk." The two reached out and clasped hand as a light rose up around them. Shimmers of red, yellow, green, blue and purple danced and bathed them with power. The four elements and Gaia herself. The Slayer and the Witch, both her daughters, were infused with power beyond their own. When the presence faded, they rose to their feet again and embraced.

"Now let's go kill ourselves a hell bitch!"

***

Spike wondered if he should be pleased or pissed off about being able to wiggle his pinky. The drugs were wearing off finally, but at this rate it wouldn't be until after the apocalypse that he'd be able to move the rest of his arm, let alone his entire body. He sighed craned his neck upwards, then took a moment to smile inwardly at the movement he'd just made. If he kept trying maybe he'd get his ass in gear in time.

***

"What happened to the day?" Buffy questioned, when she and Willow returned to the others. In the west the sun was just beginning to set.

"You've been gone several hours," Giles explained,"We were beginning to think something had happened, but we couldn't interrupt the spell."

"But we're not too late?"

"No, not yet, the stars are just beginning to come out, may still be a while before they align appropriately."

"No sign of Glory?"

"No, John's been watching the house off and on, he hasn't seen her or anyone else emerge. It is possible that she can't leave the house."

"Come again?"

"Infusing Jane Westerberg with Glory's essence, including strength, memories, evil entity, all that, cannot be simple. There must be conditioning and process. Perhaps the process isn't fully complete. Glory's power will only grow, but for right now, before the Gaud comes, she could be vulnerable." Buffy looked at John apologetically.

"Then we might be able to do this. I...I just want to stop all this, then....for him, because I loved him..."

"Then we can honor Spike properly."

Chapter 27 - For Him

The Slayer lead her friends, now including Clem after they'd woken him from his nap in the car, and John Westerberg back to the house. They had armed themselves with weapons, but Buffy knew that the only weapon needed was Willow Rosenberg and her own fists. Willow stood apart from the others, several feet ahead of them, facing the building.

"Now?" the witch called back, just as the sun dipped below the horizon.

"Now!" the Slayer commanded. Willow raised one hand to the sky and stretched the other down to the earth. Energies welled up from the earth in hues of green, yellow winds from the four corners, swirling up around the witch as well as the others; it began to rain, shimmering drops of blue. She swirled her hands together and between them burned red flames. The energies melded into the violet, shocking and brilliant.

"Iarraidh ar dhuine rud a dhéanamh Gaia! Scrios olc!!" she cried. The ground began to vibrate under their feet, the air around them to electrify and Willow's body thrummed with energies. The witch's hair seemed to become as fire, her eyes ghosting to a complete white, her skin becoming like a precious metal. The others were overwhelmed and moved to stand behind the Slayer, but they needed no protection, Willow was in complete control."SCRIOS OLC!!" She pushed her energy out and to the house.

It was like peeling away the layers of skin, the house's structure was sheared off bit by bit in long strips, then went it's support beams and the floors, the furniture, the plants, everything. Such an enormous structure held an incredible amount of debris, Willow scattered it all over the forest. What was left was the foundation and one pissed off hell god in a brand new red leather designer pant suit. Glory was seething with rage, just the effect the Slayer wanted.

When the sound of falling beams and insides from the house died down, they became aware that the forest around them had come alive. More than two dozen pairs of demonic eyes echoed the snarls and growls from the large pack of Cerberus that surrounded them. The other Scoobies took up the defensive, readying themselves for the moment when the pack went berserk. Buffy came up behind Willow and directed her to help the others. The fight with Glory belonged to the Slayer.

"You know, you're a real pain in the ass," Glory sneered, brushing the dust and filth off herself,"And your little witch damaged the leather!" Buffy advanced quickly, her fist cocked back and ready to pound the hell god's face into a nice bloody pulp. Glory caught the first punch in her bare hand, but Buffy twisted and maneuvered herself behind Glory, delivering a backwards crescent kick to her head and then stomped down on the back of her knee. Glory cried out and rolled away, back on her feet in seconds, incensed and ready to do some damage to the Slayer."There is no part of you that I'm not going to kill."

There was gleam in the Slayer's eyes, it was fueled by more than just the past battles between these two, it was a raw a violent need to destroy the monster that had killed her lover. Glory came at Buffy with the power of a out of control freight train, knocking the Slayer to the ground with a few well timed uppercuts to her ribs. Buffy rolled away, clamoring back to her feet, unscathed."You've gotten pretty weak since the last time I kicked your ass."

"Yeah? And you're not seeming as all choked up about Mr. Sunshine meeting the pointy end of that stake. Wasn't he good enough in the sack to be worth a few tears? I thought he did okay when I had him last year." That parting comment was enough to throw Buffy off her game. Glory side kicked her in the gut and sent her flying out on to the pavement. Glory stalked after her prey, but was prevented from leaving the perimeter of the house's foundation,"Damn!" She pounded her foot on the ground, enough to make parts of the floor cave in,"Hurry up you fools!!" By now Buffy was back on her feet, standing in front of her enemy, the threshold between them keeping Glory contained."He really had killer abs, didn't he? And that toosh! Yummy! But what really threw me for a loop was the size of his..."

"You're a liar!"

"No, really, he was amazing, even by god standards."

"Spike would never touch you, never!"

"You so sure about that, princess? I mean, I had him for an entire day. After the peeling off of his skin and the whole putting my finger in his chest to see if he was warm on the inside like a pie - he was ready for something a little more warm, a nice slice of my pie."

"Sounds more like the worst torture imaginable. Spike would never be with a two-bit whoring fashion victim bitch like you!"

"Who said he had a choice?" Glory made a mean little face at her opponent, twirling a curl of hair around her finger. Ignoring any sort of strategy, Buffy launched herself at the hell god. Part of her knew that Glory was only trying to goad her, but the other half was crazed with the need for vengeance. At the time, Buffy had felt badly for all the injuries Spike had sustained in protecting her sister, but now things were different now. Now, Buffy was disgusted and outraged for more than just his murder. If anything Glory was spouting was truth - Buffy would rip her head off before she killed her.

Chapter 28 - Overcome

Spike slowly and carefully propped himself against one wall of the pit, the furthest away from the Gaudists, what was left of them. When the cave and ceiling above them was disturbed by a intense shaking and the sound of breaking above, half of them had been ordered upstairs to investigate. Spike observed everything he could, perhaps he'd remember something useful for Giles after the thing called the Gaud had escaped. His interest was quickly focused when the two bastards who'd beat him reached into the pit and pulled up an unsuspecting victim. Spike watched in horror as a shadowy entity seemed to emit from the fire and latch itself around the man.

He screamed in agony as his soul was devoured. When it was over, he was silent and motionless, a dead shell. Furthermore the fire took on a pale green countenance and the vessel suspended above it blackened. The vampire cringed at just witnessing the consumption of an innocent soul and feared for his own. It was at this time he felt the reawakening of his demon. Though normally diametrically opposed to his soul, this time it raged at the injustice. The game face and fangs forced their way to the surface and overcame the last remnants of the medication.

However in the time it took him to regain control over his body, another four people had lost their souls. The cultists were in the midst of pulling up a sixth victim when he sprang into action. Soaring above the people, he grabbed the next victim before the process began again, sending him back down with the others. With the chip foolishly removed he had no reservations of beating the living daylights out of his captors. He made short work out of the first two, but quickly came to realize he was vastly outnumbered against the gathering of men and women.

The vessel which was eating the souls was darkening, becoming pure shadow, signaling the time of the Gaud was nearly upon them. Doc, Nurse Beckett and Dr. Hamilton had linked hands as a triune and were caught in the rapture of their chanting and the swell of the green fire. The earth below them appeared to be dissipating as if the monster was clawing up out of his grave. The fire was undisturbed even as the earth fell out from under it. More cultists came to attack the vampire and he showed them no mercy. Bodies flew against the walls. He smashed faces and broke bones, his demon was having the time of his life, relishing all the lovely violence. The soul however kept it in check, not allow him to forget his mission. It didn't look like Buffy was coming any time soon and the Gaud was ready and hell bent on rising.

Hearkening back to just about every text he'd ever read or anything the Watcher had ever spouted about preventing the rising of things, Spike knew he had to break the triune apart and destroy the vessel through which the Gaud was gathering souls to enable its return. He was hampered by the fact that he was surrounded by still more cultists, Doc and his two partners increasing the fervor of their chanting. They came at him and Spike didn't back down. Quite a few he managed to knock out, but some of the larger men wouldn't go down so easily. There was a fissure cracking under the displaced earth below the fire, the Gaud was coming. He fought more violently, not heading the soul's protest, twisting necks and tearing throats. He made significant progress, but by now the flames had engulfed the vessel and its blackness was infinite, made of shadow. Doc's eyes were suddenly upon the vampire, their black gleam triumphant.

"He'll come for the Slayer first," Doc spoke as comely as if offering a cup of tea,"The things he'll do to her before he gives her death." Spike's rage breached a threshold and he went berserk. Indiscriminately he tore his way through the remaining Guadists, then crashed through the joined hands of Hamilton and Beckett. The fire seared his skin, but it was too late to turn back. He reached for the vessel, his hands sinking into the cup as if it were made of water, but he found he had control over it and pulled it with his momentum as he flew through the flames and into Doc. The black basin smashed against the cave wall.

The fire thrummed like a heartbeat, alternating its colors from the pale green to orange and blue. Spike still had his enemy in his tense hands, breaking the demon's collar bones. Even as Doc shouted threats and nonsensical chants for the Gaud, Spike tore him apart as he moved to cast his body into the fire. Doc screamed as he burned, a shrilling piercing scream that sounded nothing like a man's. Spike waited until Doc stopped fighting, until the life was burnt out of him and there was only a body left to fuel the flames. After a time the fire was normal, burning low in oranges and yellows, burning hot with Doc's skeleton serving as kindling.

The vampire face disappeared and Spike flattened his back against the coldness of the cave's stone wall. He looked over the carnage that paved the way back to the pit he'd come out of. They'd been human beings and he'd killed them. He looked down at his hands, stained with blood and blackened with soot and whatever the Gaud's vessel had been made from. There was crying to be heard, emanating from down in the hole, cries for help. There were however some that were silent. The ones from whom the souls had been devoured. They were empty shells, void of sentience. Spike trembled with anguish and fear for what he was about to do, but what he knew deep in his own soul was a mercy. He prayed he was making the right decision, that somehow their souls had been freed with the breaking of the vessel and that this was alright. He broke their necks, killed them, put them to rest.

He couldn't look below at the others that remained, he was sick to his stomach and needed Buffy to come and calm him. He wanted the solace and peace of her embrace, but looking at what he'd done, done despite the soul, he believed himself unworthy of any kindness. He darted around searching for an exit, fitfully wringing his hands. "Blood on my hands....never, never come clean. William will never be clean. Can't ever touch the girl, musn't sully her. Have to be gone when she comes, have to be gone. William is gone, William is gone.....William is gone."

Chapter 29 - Bittersweet

Buffy promised herself and Spike's memory that she wouldn't step off the foundation until Glory was dead. Permanently. With the additional power she'd been infused with, the Slayer was equally matched to anything the hell bitch could unleash. They traded blow for blow whilst at the same time Willow incinerated Cerberus dogs and her friends fought against the throng of cultist that had made their way out from under the rubble to fight.

Glory caught part of her stiletto heel in a floorboard and was unable to kept her balance. Buffy pounced on her and unleashed a flurry of jabs to the face,"Even if you win, it doesn't change a thing - the vampire's dead!" Glory spouted, her voice like venom. Buffy hit her again, cracking her cheekbones, and again, making her nose bleed. Buffy didn't even realize she was crying as she continued to pummel her enemy. The Slayer was unleashing all her anger and grief through her fists down upon the cause of it.

She was a blind fury when suddenly someone was grabbing at her wrists. Buffy stopped, still shaking with rage at a restored Jane Westerberg. She moved away form the frightened teenager quickly, but silently Jane reached out to Buffy."Glory?" Buffy questioned. Jane shook her head and gesticulated that the hell god was gone. Around them the others had also stopped fighting. Most of the Cerberus were either charred or retreating, the cultists surrendering or fleeing. Jane smiled when she saw her father, then ran to his open arms.

"Buffy! What did you you?" asked Giles as he and the others came to her.

"Nothing, nothing, Glory just went away. We have to get downstairs! The Gaud!"

Below they found the cave just as Spike had left it. A fire smoldered to one side of the chamber, the charred remains of a tailed man still burned within. Against the wall were the shattered pieces of the Gaud's vessel, no sign of the fissure in the earth remained. Littered around the dug out pit filled with patients were the dead bodies of evils and innocents alike."Who did this?" Buffy asked rhetorically.

"Hello? Is someone up there?!" a man's voice called urgently from down below, followed by several more cries for assistance. Buffy appeared over the edge, her hand extended to help him. The Scoobies did the same for the others, most of whom seemed quite lucid.

"Tell me what happened!" Buffy asked them.

"There was a monster, god it was horrible. He murdered all these people. He was all white like a ghost and his face was hideous, disfigured, and the fangs!"

"He's not a monster!" Spike. She should have known he was alive, she should have trusted his promise to never leave her. She could feel it now as surely as if her was there with her. Her heart was aching to be with him.

"That man saved your life, saved all our lives," Giles explained, gathering the pieces of the broken vessel to study at a later time.

"Where did he go?" Buffy demanded. When the man didn't answer, she began to unhinge,"Tell me where he went!"

"He started babbling to himself, saying all sorts of nonsense, how he was a bad man, something about getting blood on his girl. I don't anything..."

"Giles!?" she turned to her Watcher.

"We'll take care of things here, go and find him," Giles encouraged.

***
She'd searched the forest around Fernridge all night long. There was no trace of him. She thought it could've been possible he stole one of the staff's cars and made a getaway, but she couldn't tell for sure. Giles had come back for her by morning after the police had come to handle the insane situation that had come to pass the night before. John Westerberg seemed to be able to handle the legal wrangling of the Scoobies involvement. Apparently an explosion in the boiler room had demolished the house.

She went to every place Spike had ever been in Sunnydale until finally she came the last place she could conceive of.

The relief that flooded over Buffy when she found him back down under the school had her crying instantly. She didn't care what shape his mind was in, what he was she loved. Spike was sitting in a lowly corner, his back against the wall and his knees drown up to his chest. His face was hidden against his knees and his arms covered his head. She moved down to him, quietly, a little scared."Spike? Baby, it's me. It's Buffy. Are you in there?" He shifted away from her, still hiding.

"Please go," he whispered.

"I can't, I can't leave you alone here," she whispered back, inching close until they could touch if they wanted,"I've been looking all night for you. I thought you were dead, I thought I was gonna die too - not because of Glory, because I didn't have you. Let me hold you?"

"N...no, I can't touch you."

"Yes you can, come on. Spike, touch me, don't shut down on me, don't make with the crazies."

"I'm not crazy, it's just over Buffy. I can't fight anymore. I'm finished, finished with the whole bloody world."

"Don't say that..." His face shot up, eyes wide and vibrating with emotion and shed tears.

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Shocked by his yelling at her, she drew herself back from him,"I'm tired, I need to rest now. Can't you get that? I'm 145 years old, Buffy, I know when it's time to pack it in. I can't do this anymore, day in day out....always with the fighting and the hurting. I'm done! Whatever strength I had is gone! It's been eaten away bit by bit by bit since the day I came to Sunnydale. Can you not see that I'm a broken....no, not a man...not a demon...just a, a nothing. A dead shell still holding on to memories, but the hope is gone. I'm dead, let me rest in peace. Give me this one thing."

"I'm not going anywhere. You're not finished, you don't get to give up or quit. I will not to let you. If I have to stay down here for the next twenty years then so be it. I love you, with everything I am and it's never going away. It's you or no one else for the rest of my life. I'm gonna make you believe it if it's the last thing I do." He gave her a look of disgust, stood up and pushed himself away from her. She got to her feet and went after him.

"Don't say those words, don't ever, can't bloody stand it."

"But you've waited all these years for me to tell you, or don't you love me any more?"

"'Course I love you, always love you...I just can't forget, our past. We should never had gotten together in the first place, it ruined us both." He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face,"You made me into a whore, Buffy, a filthy disposable back alley whore. You took my love and twisted it up." He ground his knuckles into his stomach as he began choking on painful sobs,"I just wanted same as everyone else. I just wanted to be loved...the need consumed me and I snapped and I nearly raped you to make you give it to me! Of all the images in my mind the one of you screaming and writhing in pain, scared underneath by body as I tried to tear off your robe and get between your legs - that is the worst, the bloody worst. There isn't one minute, and this is the literal truth, not one minute that passes without me thinking about that night. I am always reliving it and it doesn't matter that you've forgiven me, I can never forgive myself. I asked for it, but I don't deserve it. I want the pain and the misery because I have earned it, bought it, with interest in blood and the love of a good woman will not cleanse me."

"You know Spike, sorry to quell your dramatic moment, but I just don't care how miserable you want to be, because it's stupid. I am giving you a clean slate, giving us a fresh start, giving us a real chance. Think of it, how happy we could make each other, how much love we could give every day and every night. Imagine the passion, laying quiet together, making love instead of just screwing each other. How many years do I have left? There is only a brief moment set aside for us before I'm gone. We...no, I have wasted so much time. Please don't turn me away, don't punish me..." He held his hand out, fingertips nearly touching the skin of her face, but he pulled it back and looked upon her with ice sharp features and fractured love.

"Can't happen...I'm not long for this world either, Slayer. The demon and the soul are at war and I'm the battlefield. I'm sorry if this sounds especially tragic, but I'm trying for the truth. I'm just not going to last, eventually they'll cancel each other out. I'll go catatonic, crazy again, or evil or join a bloody monastery. I do know that whatever I become it won't be what you deserve. I love you too much to condemn you to the burden of a life with me."

"Cut the melodrama, I'm not buying it..." He got angrier, storming over to her and grabbing her shoulders, making her wince from the pain of his force.

"Get out and don't come back. I might love you, but I don't to be with you anymore."

"You're lying."

"Leave, don't push this or I'll push back. It'll be the bathroom all over again. I'll lose control and you'll suffer the consequences."

"You're the one who's suffering, I can stop it..." He shoved her over, making her land on her back. She calmly got to her feet and dusted herself off. She refused to look back as she made her way out of the caves.

Chapter 30 - Warmth

She was back not ten minutes later, a knapsack over her shoulder and a sleeping back under one arm. He looked at her with a face painted like a Dali landscape, emotions sliding off him in skewed directions. She turned off the flashlight that helped her see her way and flipped on a lighter before he could register the complete darkness. Where she ever came to acquire and oil lantern was out of his realm of reason as he watched her light it, he was on the edge of going ballistic on her, she wasn't listening to what he wanted. If she didn't stop he was going to have to run from this place. If he frightened her in any way it would be doubly grave for the conclusion he had in mind for himself. As it was, the moment after he'd pushed her he'd screamed inside because of it.

He was definite about his fate and this wasn't it.

He made a motion to get past her and without breaking stride, she flipped the sleeping bag out in front of him like a bullwhip, enough to derail his attempt to escape."This time I thought ahead," she began,"I asked myself after you took off - why didn't he stick around for the big reunion scene - you know, your basic running through a meadow, leap into each others arms, big kisses and I love yous et cetera."

"I killed those people, the doctors and nurses, humans."

"Who were trying to bring up a an apocalypse, who brought back Glory. If you hadn't smashed that vessel, Glory would be in the world again still and I can't even begin to imagine the hell the Gaud would have brought. If you're feeling despair over killing those people, then we'll deal with it together. As for the patients, Giles said it was a mercy, they shouldn't have been left to live without their souls - nothing inside, not even a demon. You used to want what I want to give you now. Since you've been back you've shown yourself to be incredibly unselfish. Before you asked for your soul back you were good so I'd love you, but I couldn't because it was me who was messed up. I don't love you because you have a soul, I love you because you're a good and valuable person. I'm not letting that go. Besides, it's high time I make myself worthy of your love."

He opened his mouth to speak, but the din of her heavy soled boots clomping on the cave floor as she kicked them off, kept him silent. She opened the sleeping back and sat on a corner, looking up at him with serenity,"You look like hell, sweetheart."

"Buffy..." he breathed out, exasperated.

"We'll, it's true. You need a shower pretty bad, and a hair cut, but I suspect you need something else a little more." She patted the spot next to her,"Come, please Spike." He hugged his arms around himself, cold arms to his bare torso that did nothing to warm him. She continued to look at him, staring hard, worming herself under his skin and working away at his resolve. "Spike sit down with me." At length he couldn't sustain the stalemate and sat down next to her, but not letting their bodies touch. She opened the bag up further, holding the fabric up." Slide your legs down, rest." He slipped under the covers until his feet touched the sharp metal of the zipper at the end and then turned over, facing away from her. She let the quilted cover down on him, sighing with relief, this was the first step. He flinched when the back of her hand touched his cheek, she simply turned it over and ran it down his neck and over his shoulder."You're freezing cold. I'm not talking vampire cold, you're borderline frostbite."

"I didn't notice."

"That's because for all your noble intentions you're a martyr at heart...I tend to be like that too. I externalized my pain by beating the crap out of you and abusing you in the worst possible ways - such as using you to make myself feel alive, you know it all. You on the other hand pile the hurt on yourself in every way possible, take it all inside. I'm fed up of all of that. On both sides. It's over. In the past. Doesn't exist with us any more. From now on we take good care of each other. Forgive me?" He turned his head and looked at her, perplexed. She bent down a little closer,"Forgive me?"

"Buffy...I...there isn't..."

"Forgive me?"

"Forgiven." His forehead dropped to her shoulder and she hugged him.

"You're so cold. I know you hate being cold, you want the warmth my body gives you...let me..." He tried to move away,"Not sex, it's too soon for that. Just warmth..."

"Alright." She started carefully, rubbing her hands over his bare arm and shoulder, stroking back and forth, giving friction. She pushed him gently forward until he was almost on his stomach. Her hand kneaded and massaged the muscles of his back, carefully working over the canvas, working away the tension. He exhaled and let her take care of him. She got to know his body in a new way, before when she'd only ever clutched him or scraped him in the throws of passion, this time she touched him to try and extinguish is pain. He was going under, nearly asleep as she comforted him, showed him genuine kindness, tried to make him feel her love. She slowed until she was barely brushing over his skin with her finger tip, his flesh infused with her warmth. She climbed in beside him. Before she sunk down she removed her coat and lay it over their legs. She took off her shirt and bra, remembering in the peripheral of her memories that skin on skin was the best way to warm a person up when they had frost bite. She pressed her soft full breasts into his back and felt him shudder. With her cheek to his back, her arm around his waist and the sleeping bag pulled up to their necks they fell into slumber.

Chapter 31 - Bringing Her Vampire Home

She woke up suddenly to him twisting fitfully in her arms, crying, screaming like an animal,"Spike!" she cried, trying to hold him still, trying to wake him,"Spike, it's okay, I'm here." His body seized and then fell limp, but he continued to sob mournfully, low moans choking from his throat.

"Buuuuffffy..." he wailed, now awake, scared beyond belief. He cowered under the covers, shaking and clutching to her for solace. He was scaring her and all she could do was hold him and whisper hollow comforts. It took a fair while for him to calm, by this time he'd curled himself into a fetal form against her, breathing steadily in and out, taking comforts in her scent and the pulse of her blood through her veins. All the while her hands had been on his back again, trying to make him feel safe.

He sniffled and laughed bitterly, that's when she noticed something sticky against her skin. She eased him away and saw it was blood. Reaching behind her into her coat's pocket she retrieve some tissue to clean herself and under his nose,"You're bleeding, your nose."

"Happens with the headaches. Headaches happen after a nightmare sometimes."

"Tell me...please, let me in."

"You're already in." He took her hand, squeezing it tightly in he guided it to his head. He winced in pain as she found three raised, tender bumps near his cerebral cortex.

"What are these..."

"Where Doc had his fun...where he drilled into my skull. I think that's why m'nose bled." She snatched her hand away, not half angry with him for making himself hurt from her touch. Taking a deep breath he let it out - Doc, the operating room, the bright lights, the laugh, the sound of the drill, the white hot pain as it tore through flesh and bone, the wires of the chip unraveling and one by one cutting themselves through his brain to the exit holes..."And then there we were, like now, warm and alone. We made love and you saved me, you brought me back to life...this man, this demon, you made him whole." She was crying now too, grief and rage playing against love and devotion.

"I wish he was alive so I could kill him. Make him suffer first." He kissed the sweet valley between her breasts and nuzzled in close, caressing her denim clad backside.

"He's dead and forgotten. Let it be."

"But..."

"I'll heal up in time, the bloody nightmares will either go away or I'll get used to them. All that matters is that you hold me and you love me....even, even though the chip is gone."

"The chip is a non-issue. Spike, this is serious...this could have..."

"I could've been trapped inside my body forever, literally. But I'm not, love, I'm here with you and I'm mending."

"My blood will heal you quicker, right? You'd get stronger and those holes in your head will go away?"

"Forget it, Slayer...there's no way..." Right before his eyes she gouged her thumb nail into her wrist, digging in as deep as possibly to bring forth a wellspring of fresh blood. As the nourishing red liquid ran over, Spike found himself torn between hunger and the desire to never take from her, never use her.

"Because I love you, drink." Letting his guards down he forcefully grabbed her arm, sinking his fangs into her flesh and taking a few needy gulps before settling down to a languorous consummation. They lay back down, Buffy laying her head upon his chest, her tongue lapping over his nipple, giving him a much needed thrill to accompany his restoration, a sort of intimacy they were developing. Satiated by her offering of blood and comforted by her mild sexual caress he began to slip back under. Buffy tended to her wounded wrist before snuggling down and joining him.

***

After sunset Buffy brought her vampire home. She practically had to drag him from the caves and basement, but she was patient and tender. He'd wrapped himself in the sleeping bag to stay warm, having nothing but the hospital issue pajama bottoms to wear. The hospital had taken his boots and everything Buffy and Dawn had brought him from home. She's be certain to buy him new things as soon as possible.

"Almost there," she said, turning the SUV on to Revello,"Everyone's going to be there, but we can just go straight upstairs. You can have a bath and then I think we should go straight to bed, to sleep. That sound alright?" He sighed and nodded.

"Buffy, love?" he asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"When did you learn to drive?" She couldn't help but smile.

"Early summer, it became a necessity."

"Just wondered."

"When did you get your mind...you know, even, clear?"

"Ironically enough, when Doc was drilling through my skull."

"Makes me sick, what you've just gone through, all because of me."

"I'd like us forget it."

"I can't. This was worse than when Glory had you the first time. When I think of how this could have gone, how I could have lost you. I don't think I could have come back from it, not this time. I need you to be the one who stays. I need you to be the one Spike." She pulled into her driveway and turned off the ignition. She gripped the steering wheel too tightly, she was crying again. They'd both been crying far too much to Spike's mind.

"I'd like to marry you someday...it's not really something I ever think about, not something a dead man should hope for, but if you'll have me..." She snapped her face around so quickly she hurt her neck. His hand reached over to massage the kink.

"I've had two proposals in my life and they've both been from you. I'm starting to wonder if the universe is trying to tell me something."

"Have a think on it. I'm going to ask you one more time, when I'm not filthy and gross. You have some time."

"I don't need to think about my answer. You're not gross."

"I want you to all the same. And, yeah I am, haven't had a bath in week here. I need a good washing."

"You know my answer, right?"

"I know."

"Love you, William." They leaned into each other, lips searching for their mate's, pressing long and soft.

"Buffy?"

"Mmmm?"

"I'd really like my bath now."

Chapter 32 - Parlay By Bathwater

When the front door of the house opened, a rush of Scoobies descended upon the pair. Spike was still huddled under the sleeping bag, Buffy guiding him with an arm around his waist. She looked at them and shook her head,"Not right now, okay?" She asked and the others complied, letting her and Spike continue on up the stairs. When they came close on the bathroom, Spike made a wounded sound and instantly tensed,"I'm in my mom's room now, there's another bathroom. We don't need to confront all the skeletons in our closet tonight, this way..." He let the heavy coverlet fall after she closed her bedroom door. He inhaled deeply, there was the distinct essence of Buffy herself, but tinged with earthy incense.

From the way of the bathroom he heard the water running and Buffy moving about. He walked slowly towards the door and was met by her emerging. Her hair was up and she wore the same robe as that fateful night. The pain on his face made her remember too,"It's the only one I have," she spoke solemnly. Her demeanor shifted then and brightened,"Why don't I just go naked?" He smiled ever so slightly. She took his hand and pulled him inside.

After closing the door, she turned off the taps, steam rising from the hot water and making the air around them heavy and relaxing."Get undressed," she told him. He hesitated, hearkening back to when she'd found him in the locker room shower cutting himself. She closed the gap between them, resting her hands on his hips, slipping her fingers under the waistband. She slowly drew them down, lowering herself to her knees before him. She deliberately let her cheek brush close to his soft cock, then turned her face slightly, bestowing a kiss upon the shaft. He shuddered and felt the beginnings of arousal, but she was already standing again.

She seemed different to him, peaceful, for the first time he could remember. She waited for him to ease himself into the hot bathwater, groaning as his skin prickled with the dramatic change in temperature,"How's your head?" She sat down on the floor next to the tub.

"Much better, love, the blood helped immensely."

"I can wash your hair then? Lean back." He did as she asked, relishing the sensation of the hot water drenching his hair and her fingers gently lathering up the shampoo. When she was done and his he was rinsed clean, she rested her chin on the rim of the tub and watched him,"You're an amazing man, William."

"If by that you mean amazingly reckless and stupid then I'd say you're spot on."

"Don't put yourself down."

"Buffy, when has anything I've ever done worked out as I planned?"

"Never, except for the Acathla thing, but that's a good. You came to Sunnydale with the intent to kill me."

"One exception then."

"Enough...geez, the angst is getting a little old. Can we talk about something happy? Like when we get to be together again?"

"Are we ready? I don't want to have you under me, then remember the bathroom floor. I am afraid to be with you again. I'm sorry."

"Not something to apologize for. Hey, I'm a little scared too, this is new territory for us. We've, for lack of a less honest word, fucked....and that's pretty much all we've ever done. I know it's not what you ever wanted....well maybe sometimes you did."

"So did you, love, it was all you could handle."

"But we've never made love, not really."

"I want to, so much." She craned her neck in to him again, pressing their lips together for a tender kiss.

"I've never wanted anything so much before in my life. I want to be yours, for good this time."

"You are mine."

"And you're mine. We clear on that?"

"Crystal."

"Good. We don't have to do anything tonight...and when we do, well, you can be underneath."

"Mmm...like the sound of that. Like the thoughts you're putting into this."

"I have other thoughts, want me to share?" He nodded and leaned back in the warm bath water, sinking down to his chin."I think about you laying on my bed, naked, kinda sleepy. You just laying there, warm and comfy and you let me kiss you all over, and when you get hard I'll take you in my mouth and love you. I imagine the winter time, just a couple of months away, maybe on Christmas Eve - when it's almost cold enough to snow, but it won't 'cause it's California..."

"Maybe we'll have rain, a storm."

"Okay, that's good too, it's storming outside and the power's out and we're snuggled in bed with the covers up to our chins and our noses are touching."

"Sounds lovely."

"And your hand is between my legs..."

"Mmm...is it now?"

"We're hot under the covers, giving each other beautiful slow orgasms that go on and on. Saying I love you over and over."

"Sounds like heaven, pet, does this poet's heart good to hear you speak of him in such a way. The demon, well, you're just making him horny." She giggled and splashed him playfully with the water.

"I've never talked to anyone this way you know? I couldn't ever talk about sex with anyone. I was with Riley the better part of a year and we never really did anything with sex besides it . He never seemed to make me feel what you do with just a look sometimes....and well, I really had to work for it - every time. Ugh. Is it so wrong to just be given an orgasm? He thought I was just energetic, I lied and let him believe it was because he made me so hot. Truth was that half the time I had to fake having them. You on the other hand, all you have to do was look at me in that way you do and I'm half way to happyland!"

"Not that I don't enjoy the putting down of Agent Wanker....but I think I rather talk about you. Tell me what you like...."

"This from my virgin William?"

"I'm not your virgin anything...or need I remind you about the handcuffs?"

"You can remind me later. But you kinda are, aren't you? A virgin I mean, souly speaking...or did William...?"

"Died a virgin. I see what you're meaning. Yes, Buffy love, you'll be this soul's first time."

"Your one and only. I love that, thank you."

"Just treat me proper, I'm but a trembling wallflower."

"Handcuffs, dearest."

"Oh right. So, tell me, my love, what you like. What gets my Slayer hot and slippery?" She was blushing, it was adorable. He moved close again, resting his chin on the rim of the tub, face just inches from hers."Tell me how I can pleasure you."

"God, when you talk..."

"Just me talking?" Her little pink tongue darted out from between her lips, licking his bottom lip briefly.

"The way you use your tongue, when it curls around mine, pulling it deep into your mouth. Or when you do the same thing in my...um..." She knew she must look as read as a tomato, her face felt incredibly hot.

"Can't say the word? It's not naughty...nor do you need to be clinical...quim is a very pretty word for it, it's a very pretty thing. You've the sweetest honey I've ever tasted..." She shuddered, feeling her arousal rising. All he really did have to do was talk to her!

"I like it when you breathe on my neck...when you're about to come and you're moving really hard and fast, you breathe heavy on my neck...I love that. I love how when you do come, you grab my hips and hold yourself totally inside me...I love the feel of your release filling me, it's cool. I love how you nuzzle your nose under my breasts and breathe me in. I love it when I'm too tired to do it anymore, and you pull me up on my hands and knees...take me from behind, holding on to my breasts and make me come for you again. I love that we can do it for five hours straight. Spike...I...I love that I've learned to trust you...with my body and my heart. I love that I love you." His eyes looked electric, excited. He slipped his head under the water and let out a howl of delight that was loud enough to come through the buffer of the water. Buffy got up on her knees and leaned down into the tub, submerging her face and upper body, getting soaking wet and kissed him under the water. He reached up and pulled the rest of her in the bath, pulling open her robe until her naked body was pressed solidly against his. She tore away from his lips to come to the surface for air. His mouth closed around an opportunely presented nipple, sucking greedily, their limbs tangled and displacing water on to the bathroom floor.

His hands took the firm globes of her ass, giving them a bruising squeeze and grinding up against her, his arousal beginning to rise."Spike! Stop..." He released her and rolled them on to their sides, trying to move as much away from her as he could.

"Sorry...sorry..." he stammered, head breaching the surface of the water. Before he had a chance to do anything else she was kissing him, both soft and deep.

"No sorries...I just meant that we should get out of the tub first. I'm fine, we're both just fine."

"Yeah, I know, but for just a split second..." She leaned in, laying her cheek to his.

"I know, baby, but I swear, last May isn't here between us anymore, it's gone. I'm not afraid of you."

"I don't ever want to hurt you again. I love you, Buffy, I love you so much."

"And I love you, I love you completely. Take me to bed and show me."

Chapter 33 - Full and Plenty

They lay naked on top of the covers of the queen sized bed for a long time, side by side, fingers tracing lines on hands and thighs. He was still warm from the bath, relaxed, clean and in no immediate danger. He was content, he was happy. It made him scared. It wasn't the fear that now that he had everything he ever wanted, namely Buffy, it was that it was going to disappear - he'd never been this way before. The fear was from that place in himself that assured him he would do something as stupid as ever and get himself kicked out of the house. As morbid scenarios began running through his mind, he rolled over on to his side and face away from her.

Seconds later she was pressed to his back, her hand low on his stomach, rubbing back and forth over the hard muscles. She was kissing his neck, flicking her tongue over his earlobe, then her hand moved lower. She squeezed his soft flesh ever so slightly, curling her fingers around him as much as she could, relishing how even flaccid he was too much for her. He became erect without effort, making soft moans as she stroked him to increasing hardness. She encouraged him to lay on his back again, so she could see him instead of just touching. She moved in closer as she worked him over, gliding her hand up and down, her loose hair bruising over him in a feathery caress. She was being almost too gentle with him, it had never been like this.

"Close your eyes," she whispered. He did as she asked, moving his arms over his face, instinctively arching into her downstroke. He choked on a cry when she closed her lips around the end, then slid him into her mouth. Her gentleness ceased and it became something deeply carnal. With her tongue and the pressure inside her mouth, she lovingly caressed him, then began to suck and slide the way she remembered he loved. He reached down for her and she took his hand, lacing their fingers together.

"Buffy..." he groaned, along with other sounds of received pleasure,"Love, I need you ...need you..." She released him, staring up at him with glowing skin and a hungry look in her eyes. Moving seamlessly, she came to position herself astride him, the head of his cock just touching the soft folds of her opening. Still holding his hand, she pulled him upright, then took him to the hilt inside her. Both seized as they came together, her passage stretched suddenly and painfully taut, he being strangled and burned. She was the one to begin moving first, keeping him sheathed deep and surging gently again him. Their stomachs and torsos were creating a mounting friction against each other. Spike held his arms around her waist and shoulder, his body tense and overcome, face buried against her neck as he wavered between crying and moaning in pure unadulterated pleasure.

This was otherworldly to them both, the vampire's soul had never come so close to such purity of joy as this moment."Stay with me, it's alright. William, make love with me." He heard her words and she soon felt his kiss on her throat, needy and wet, sucking on her skin and pulse. His tongue wet her skin, his lips firm yet soft as he devoured her. His hand moved down her body to hold her hips and thighs, pushing himself up into her as he pulled her down. One hand travelled up her back again, her skin now slick with beads of sweat, to cup the back of her head. He took possession of her mouth, fusing their lips together, tongues reaching in deep. They closed their eyes, feeling only their bodies joined, their arms and legs pushing and pulling.

He fell back against the pillows, bringing her with him. Without breaking their kiss, Buffy moved a little stronger on him, making tight circles with her lower half. The pleasure was extreme, unlike anything they'd ever brought each other to before, but Buffy soon became aware of the urgency with which he clung to her, kissed her, moved with her. She pulled back from him so she could look upon his face, it was a wash of tears."Spike?" she questioned. He looked away, closed his eyes, his hands falling away from her. He still hard inside her, still in want of her, but so overcome with what they were sharing that it seemed too much for him. She took his hand and guided it to where they were joined. Realizing what she was asking, he gently rubbed his thumb over her clitoris. Back and forth, he excited the nerve endings, which had her tightening herself around him. He came back to the moment, taking her hand and placing it on his face where she could wipe away his tears.

They held each other's eyes until the breaking point was reached and they both came together. Breathing hard, eyes piercing each other's, hands gripping, bodies tensed and then, then the undoing. She fell upon him, crying out her orgasm, clinging to him, anchoring them together as they rode out wave after wave. When she felt him come deep up inside her, Buffy let a few tears of her own fall, she was finally his as much as he'd always been hers.