Disclaimer: All the characters and recognizable dialog are Joss Whedon's, except for an exerpt from Billy Idol's Dancing with Myself.

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Chapter 8
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“So let’s take another drink, ‘cause it will give me time to think…” Spike was on his way home with spare clothes for Buffy, as much blood as he had been able to purchase, and Billy Idol’s ‘Dancing with Myself’ blaring on the radio. Might as well soak up the sun while I can, he reasoned as he cruised back to Revello Drive with the windows down. He sat in the driveway for an extra thirty seconds, waiting for the last chord of the song to die away before he turned the car off. He grabbed the bag of blood with one hand and a duffle bag full of clothes with the other and headed inside.
 
Willow and Xander broke off their conversation abruptly when they heard the door open. There was an awkward moment as Spike took in their ‘caught talking behind someone’s back’ look. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said sarcastically. He dropped the duffle bag and went to fit the blood containers into the fridge. “Where’s Buffy?”
 
“She’s upstairs,” Willow said. “She um, vamped out at me when I cut my finger.”
 
Spike’s concern registered on Buffy’s face. “Is she alright?”
 
Xander frowned. “What do you mean is Buffy alright? Willow’s the one who almost got eaten for breakfast.”
 
Spike fought the urge to deck Xander, and instead grabbed a container of blood and opened it. He poured it into the largest mug he could find and put it in the microwave, slamming the door and punching the buttons hard. Once it started he turned around and said, “Look, whelp. That’s your friend inside my body, right? She probably just endured a massive electrical shock right to the center of her brain. I can tell you – hurts like fucking hell. Sometimes I get bloody noses from the burst blood vessels. So yeah, I’m concerned about her. Question is why am I the only one who is?” The microwave beeped and Spike turned, grabbed the mug, scooped up the duffel from the floor, and stomped upstairs without another word. Willow and Xander swallowed nervously and went back to their breakfast in silence.
 
Spike knocked on Buffy’s door. “Buffy? Room service,” he said lightly. He opened the door slowly and poked his head in. Buffy was just finishing making the bed, after having changed the sheets to hide the evidence of her explorations of Spike’s body the night before. “Well now everyone will know it’s not me in there if you’re making the bed,” he quipped.
 
Buffy breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the mug of blood. “Thank God,” she said. She grabbed it out of his hand and drank it down as quickly as she could manage, noting that it was slightly less foul when heated. “It’s exhausting trying to control this demon all the time.”
 
“It’s like sticking to an exercise routine,” Spike said, sitting down next to her on the bed. “Really hard at first, gets easier the more you do it, then it just becomes automatic.”
 
“Well I am definitely not at the automatic stage yet,” Buffy said ruefully.
 
“Heard you took a snap at Willow while I was gone,” said Spike.
 
“That blood smell just yanks the demon right out, doesn’t it,” Buffy said. “I mean, it’s like someone else took the wheel completely.”
 
“I bought a whole bunch of extra blood, so hopefully you won’t get caught short before we get this sorted out,” Spike assured her.
 
“Thanks. What did you use for money? My bank account is almost empty,” Buffy said.
 
“I used my own stash, so don’t worry about it,” Spike said.
 
Buffy frowned. “Ill gotten cash, I take it?”
 
“Won it in a poker game,” Spike explained. “Almost fair and square.”
 
“I’ve seen you play poker,” Buffy admonished. “But I guess I can’t really complain since you’re spending it to keep me from eating people.”
 
“We’ll work out the money details later, Slayer,” Spike said. He stood up and indicated the duffle bag. “Clean duds are in there. I’ll go downstairs and feed your body while you dress mine, alright?”
 
“Alright,” Buffy agreed. Spike left her to it, taking the empty mug down to the kitchen.
 
Xander and Willow had finished their breakfast and were sipping coffee when Spike came down. He looked in the freezer and came up with some frozen waffles. Wonder what these really taste like? He perused the directions and popped two of them in the toaster, turning to face the others. “So what, are you going to stare at me like I’ve got antlers all day, or are you going to talk?”
 
Willow sputtered, “We were… sorry, this is just really awkward. I mean, you’re Buffy, but you’re not. I don’t know what to say to you.”
 
“You mean you might have to treat me like a person all of a sudden?” Spike asked. “Yeah, that’s gonna be tough.” The toaster popped up and he turned to get his breakfast. He found the butter and syrup and sat down to enjoy breakfast. At the first bite he closed his eyes and sighed.
 
“What’s with the orgasms over food?” Xander asked, remembering the Mexican food pig out over lunch the previous day.
 
Spike fixed him with an exasperated look. “For all that you’ve spent years hanging out with the Slayer, you sure haven’t learned a lot about vampires, have you?” He took another bite then explained. “Vampires get enhanced hearing, enhanced sight, enhanced sense of smell. In exchange, we tend to lose our taste for human food. All tastes about the same, except for the really spicy stuff, and even that is pretty muted. I literally haven’t really tasted food in more than a hundred years, and I intend to enjoy it while I can.” With that he went back to his breakfast.
 
Buffy came into the room at that point. “H… how are you doing?” Willow asked.
 
“I’m fine,” she said. She sat down next to Spike. “So what’s the plan?”
 
“I guess we’re going to go into research mode,” said Willow. “We need to find out how this could have happened.”
 
“Well, were you doing any spells we should know about?” Buffy asked.
 
Willow looked hurt. “No! I haven’t done any spells since… since the car accident. Really, you’ve got to believe me!”
 
“It’s okay, Wils,” Xander reassured her. “We believe you.”
 
“Not so sure I do,” Spike grumbled, earning a dirty look from Xander. “But for the sake of argument, let’s say that wasn’t it. Not sure what it could be.” He got up to get some coffee for himself and for Buffy. “Here – even with the vamp taste buds coffee is good to have.”
 
“Thanks,” Buffy said. She took a sip and found that Spike was right – coffee was a necessary thing.
 
“So when did this all start?” Xander asked.
 
Buffy wrinkled Spike’s brow in thought. “Night before last. I was patrolling and ran into Spike.”
 
“You had just finished taking out some monstrous big fledge, right?” Spike said. “Not sure why but it seems kind of hazy now.”
 
“We were… arguing, weren’t we?” Buffy asked, turning to Spike.
 
“That’s right,” Spike agreed. “Then we… that is I…” He wasn’t sure about the Scoobies’ reaction to their kissing would be, and he didn’t know if Buffy wanted to find out.
 
“You kissed me,” Buffy said quietly.
 
Xander opened his mouth to say something but Willow stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Then what happened?” she asked, sensing that they were on to something.
 
Buffy shook her head. “I don’t know. I know I went home. But it was like I was on autopilot. I wasn’t sure what I was doing. Like I had gotten a knock on the head.”
 
“Same here,” Spike said. “Walked into my crypt like I’d never been there before or something. Felt like I was drunk.”
 
“Aren’t you usually?” Xander said with distaste.
 
“Get bent, Harris,” Spike said. “I’ll have you know I was stone cold sober that night.”
 
“Did you notice anything else? Any demons or anything like that?” Willow asked.
 
Did I see something? Right at the end? Someone…? Buffy shook her head. “I feel like I saw something, but I can’t remember what it was. It’s on the tip of my tongue, but I can’t place it.”
 
Spike was shaking his head as well. “Don’t remember a bloody thing.”
 
The phone rang at this point, and Willow got up to answer it before either Buffy or Spike could move. “Hello? Hey, Anya. That will totally help. We’ll send someone over.” Willow hung up the phone. “That was Anya. She found a couple of good books on personality altering spells that can help us, but she can’t leave the store right now.
 
“I’ll go,” Spike ventured. He didn’t want to admit it to the witch and the whelp, but he desperately wanted to experience as much sunlight as he could before switching back.
 
“How do we know you’re not going to do something illegal or something?” Xander asked suspiciously.
 
“Xander, if he wanted to do something evil, then he wouldn’t have spent yesterday taking care of my sister,” Buffy said in a tired voice. “He just wants to enjoy the sunlight. Am I right?” Buffy asked, looking at Spike.
 
Spike blushed to the roots of Buffy’s hair. “Um, yeah. It’s been a while.”
 
“Go ahead then,” Buffy said with a faint smile. “Walk this time – you’ll get to enjoy the sun longer.”
 
“I’ll be back as soon as I can,” Spike said, shooting Buffy a grateful look. He finished up his coffee and left for the Magic Box.
 
Willow and Xander both let out sighs of relief when the door closed behind Spike. “Man, this is way awkward,” Xander said.
 
Buffy got up to pour herself more coffee. “It’s definitely weird. I’m not used to having to keep an eye out for sunbeams.”
 
“At least we know now why you were acting so off yesterday,” Willow commented with a nervous laugh. “I mean, you literally weren’t yourself.”
 
Buffy sat down and sipped some coffee. Finally she asked, “What did Spike do that was so unusual?”
 
“Aside from driving?” Willow said jokingly. “I mean, that should have tipped us off right there.” Buffy managed a tight-lipped smile, but said nothing.
 
Oblivious, Xander carried on. “He snapped at me the moment I came in the door – asking how come I didn’t knock. He got totally bent out of shape with everything we said. Willow reminded you – I mean him – about the phone bill and she, he – gah! Whomever started griping about how Willow doesn’t pay her way enough.”
 
“Then he ditched us at the Magic Box and voluntarily helped Dawn with her homework,” Willow finished.
 
“And what was wrong with all that?” Buffy asked, fixing Spike’s blue eyes on them.
 
“Well… it was…” Xander sputtered, wondering what Buffy was getting at. “It wasn’t wrong, I guess. I mean, helping Dawn isn’t wrong. But it was just so unlike you to be so touchy about everything.”
 
“Yeah, you’re usually pretty ‘go with the flow’, so it was just a bit surprising, that’s all,” Willow added.
 
Buffy pondered all this for a moment. “So I usually just agree with you?”
 
Willow was puzzled at the slightly sad note to Buffy’s voice. “Not always. But you usually are better at coming to a consensus and all that.”
 
“Yeah,” said Buffy quietly. Coming to your consensus, you mean. She drank more coffee, feeling more depressed and trapped with each passing moment. I’m only Buffy if I’m agreeing with you, is that it?
 
Xander took the opportunity to bring up what had been on his mind. “Buffy, what is up with you and Spike?”
 
“What do you mean?” she asked warily.
 
“You let him kiss you. Outside the Magic Box – Anya and I saw what we thought was you coming up and kissing Spike. Then you say he was kissing you the other night.”
 
“Last night he was helping me relax so the fangs would go away,” Buffy said, desperately wishing they would drop the subject.
 
Willow noticed her discomfort. “Is he taking advantage of you? I know he used to do that stalker thing before but…”
 
“Willow, I’m the Slayer,” Buffy interrupted. “If I really don’t want him to kiss me, I can stop him, okay?”
 
Xander’s eyes widened. “What are you saying then? You want him to kiss you? Didn’t we learn our lesson with the last vampire boyfriend?”
 
Buffy stood up and faced Xander square on. “Xander, I do not want to discuss this right now. Spike helped me a lot last night, and he’s been helping me since I got back. He puts up with a ton of shit in order to help me, and it would be nice if you got off his back for once.”
 
Xander was stunned. “But Buffy, you’ve got to see how dangerous he is! I mean, you’ve been in his body for a day and you can see that the demon keeps taking over. If he ever gets the chip out…”
 
“Xander, you have no clue what you are talking about,” Buffy snapped. “Spike is not only in control of the demon, but he goes through completely agonizing pain every time he tries to hurt someone, even in self defense. I’m here to tell you – think about the worst migraine you’ve ever had and quadruple it. That’s what Spike feels every time he hits someone.”
 
“Well, that’s good!” said Xander. “He can’t be allowed to go around hurting people.”
 
“Yeah, but it’s excessive. Trust me,” Buffy said. She wanted to say more, about how lonely he was, about what an outcast he had become on her behalf. However, her shame at her own part in their treatment of him tied her tongue and she finally finished with, “Look, he’s not a danger, and I really don’t need a baby sitter. Let’s just get this body swap sorted out, alright?”
 
Willow realized that Buffy was getting upset. “Ok, Buffy. Sorry we’re all over you. We just care about you, that’s all.”
 
“I know,” Buffy sighed. And that’s why I put up with it. She got up and rinsed the coffee cup out, then went into the living room. She chose an armchair far from the window and turned on the TV to wait until Spike returned.
 
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Alright, now I can see why people live in this fucked up state, Spike thought as he made his way to the Magic Box. The air was a pleasant temperature, with a light breeze and sunshine dappling the trees. He felt like he could right twelve more volumes of bad poetry from this one walk in the sun. Be glad to get my body back, but man it is nice to have this vacation. He missed very little about being human, but the sunlight thing – that was something he deeply regretted. Should have taken the Gem of Amara and ran, instead of sticking around so the Slayer could take it away from me. I could have been on the bloody Riviera this whole time but no, had to do the ‘Slayer of Slayers’ thing. Wanker. With a sigh at his own past mistakes he turned the corner to head to the Magic Box.
 
“Hey Buffy! Wait up!” A voice called. He turned to see Tara making her way down the sidewalk. “How are you? Is Dawn still coming over Friday night?”
 
Spike paused outside the door of the Magic Box and held up his hands. “Hang on a minute, Glinda. Something very weird has happened, and I don’t want you to get too far before I explain.”
 
Tara looked confused. Only Spike ever called her Glinda. “Buffy? Are you alright?”
 
“Not Buffy. I’m Spike, in Buffy’s body,” Spike explained. “Someone did some sort of body swap on us. We don’t really know who or how, which is why I am here at the store picking up some books so we can try to sort this out.”
 
Tara’s mouth dropped in astonishment. “Oh my goodness! Are you both okay?”
 
“Yeah. Weirded out, and had some confusion and misunderstandings with Dawn and the others, but no permanent damage as yet,” Spike said, turning to go into the store.
 
In their basement lair, Andrew and Jonathan were arguing about some arcane Star Wars lore when Warren noticed Buffy show up on the video feed from the shop. “Shut up, you losers! She just walked in.” The others crowded around as Warren turned up the volume.
 
“I just hope I don’t run into anyone I’m supposed to know,” Spike was saying. “It would be rather awkward if someone comes up and says ‘I’m your long lost cousin Betty’ and I have no clue who they are.”
 
“So I guess you don’t remember that Dawn is coming over on Friday,” Tara said.
 
“I guess I do now,” Spike replied. “Anything else Buffy should be remembering?”
 
“It worked,” Warren breathed. The three of them stared at each other for a moment, then broke into whoops and cheers. “It actually fucking worked!”
 
“This is so awesome!” Andrew said gleefully.
 
“So where do we start?” Jonathan asked. The Magic Box camera was forgotten as the Trio moved over to their workbench to plan a series of heists designed to get them everything their greedy hearts desired.
 
Unaware of the impression he had given the Trio, Spike greeted Anya. “Willow said you have some books for us?”
 
“Got them right here, Buff… I mean Spike,” Anya said, reaching under the counter. “Maybe we should call you both Spuffy to keep it simple.”
 
“Uh, yeah, don’t think so,” Spike said. He took the books and perused the titles. “Hope these help.”
 
Tara hesitated for a moment, then she said, “Do… do you think I could help?”
 
“We need all the assistance we can get,” Spike said. “Can you work with Red?”
 
“I’ll try,” Tara said. “Has she… this isn’t her doing, is it?”
 
Spike shook his head. “She says she’s been staying off the magic.”
 
“And last night I did the disinvite spell to keep Spike out so she wouldn’t have to,” Anya piped up helpfully.
 
Spike stared at her with narrowed eyes. “Can you tell me exactly why you decided to put a disinvite spell on Buffy’s house? I mean, you didn’t know I wasn’t Buffy. What gave you lot the right to decide who could come into what you presumed was my house?”
 
Anya was taken aback. “Willow and Xander thought you, or rather Buffy, was having some sort of crisis or something. They feel like it’s their duty as Buffy’s friends to make sure she doesn’t do something she’ll regret.”
 
“What do you think, though?” Spike asked her pointedly.
 
Anya shrugged. “I don’t have as much experience with what human friendships are supposed to be like. I mean, Buffy has been pretty depressed since she got back from Heaven, but I don’t think she’s crazy or anything, so I don’t see why we have to spend so much time worrying about her.”
 
“You know, if you think that then maybe you could get the others to understand that,” Spike said in an annoyed tone. “Red and Harris seem to spend all their free time trying to run Buffy’s life. It’s sucking the spirit out of her. You’ve got to see that.”
 
Tara was nodding. “Willow may not be doing it with magic anymore, but she still feels like she still has to fix Buffy somehow.”
 
“Well she did drag Buffy out of Heaven,” Anya said. “It is really her fault.”
 
“Look, Buffy can’t get back on her feet if you lot are yanking the rug out from under her constantly,” Spike said. “I need you two to try to get through to Red and Harris. Buffy’s just about given up fighting them, and they won’t listen to me, no matter what body I’m in. They’re going to keep beating her down, with the best of intentions, until she just gives up entirely.”
 
“I’ll do what I can,” said Anya. “Xander is pretty thickheaded about Buffy though.”
 
“Just… just do your best, okay?” Spike asked. He picked up the bag full of books that Anya had gathered and turned to Tara. “You coming, Glinda?”
 
“Just a second,” Turning to Anya Tara said. “Anya can I have some bloodroot? It’s part of my healing spell first aid kit.”
 
“Coming right up,” Anya said. She rang up the sale and handed the bag to Tara.
 
“We’ll see you later, Anya,” Spike said, leading the way out.
 
“Hope you get your body back soon,” Anya said with her usual cheerful forthrightness. Spike shook his head in bemusement as he and Tara left the store.
 
“Demon girl is a piece of work, but at least she doesn’t bullshit you,” Spike said as he and Tara made their way back to Buffy’s.
 
“She’s definitely unique,” Tara said. They walked on in silence for a few minutes. “How does it feel being in Buffy’s body?” she asked curiously.
 
“It’s got its ups and downs,” Spike answered. “Nice to feel the sun again. And I totally forgot how good food tastes with human taste buds. Gonna be hard to go back to pig’s blood after pizza and waffles, let me tell you.”
 
“Any downsides?” Tara wondered.
 
“Other than the Scoobie problem?” Spike said ruefully. “I don’t know how you ladies can sort through all those clothes and beauty products every day.”
 
Tara smiled. “We have a lot of practice.”
 
“Yeah, well I’ve been wearing my uniform for about 20 years now, and I bloody well don’t see the need to have a different outfit for every hour.”
 
“It sounds really funny to hear your mode of speech in Buffy’s voice,” Tara observed.
 
“Damn near killed myself trying to suppress that. Had to pretend to be Buffy for Dawn’s teacher conference,” he explained.
 
“Glad you were there for them,” Tara said.
 
“Bit can be a pill sometimes, but she needs someone there for her,” Spike said.
 
“I do miss her,” Tara admitted. “That’s why I invited her to spend the night on Friday.”
 
“Well, we’ll remind the real Buffy when we get to the house,” Spike said. They walked the last couple blocks in silence, lost in their own thoughts. 

TBC