Chapter 25


Buffy sat at the small table pushing her food around disinterestedly.  Spike had insisted that she eat something; however her stomach clenched in rebellion every time she tried to raise her fork to her mouth.  Her mind was racing at the thought of what Xander might be experiencing. Jayela had given them a few pieces of information—just enough for Buffy to realise that Xander’s biggest regrets centred around her being in his life.  A part of her was still clinging to the hope that this little exercise would bring her friend back to her, however another part of her realised that she had probably lost him forever.

“Luv?” Spike sat down beside her wrapping his arms around her and pulling her towards him

“It’s all my fault,” she turned her face into his chest and let out a small sob.

“How’s that, pet?” Spike stroked her hair softly

“Everything bad in his life is because of me.”


Don’t be stupid, Slayer.” He cupped her face in his hands, “the git would have died a thousand times over if it weren’t for you.  You keep him alive, all those things runnin’ through his head—they’re not real and they never will be ‘cause there is no way you’d let anything bad happen to those you love.”


Sniffling Buffy gave a shuddering sigh, “Then why does it feel like it’s because of me that he’s like this.”


“’Cause he’s your friend and you care if he’s in pain and you think ‘cause you’re the Slayer it’s your job to fix it.”  Spike pressed a small kiss to her forehead, “But this isn’t your fight; it’s up to the boy in there to find the strength to make himself better, and he will if he wants enough.”


“Yeah?”


“Yeah, now seein’ as your not going to eat how about we go do something—take your mind off things.”  Spike pushed her plate across the table, “What do you feel up to?”


“Can we go somewhere and look at the stars?” 


“Sure, luv, any particular spot in mind?” Spike brushed a strand of hair away from her face.


“Can we go up into the treetops… it’s just I’m always patrolling at night so I never get to stop and just look,” Buffy explained.


“If my girl wants the heavens, I’ll give her the heavens.”  Spike took her hand and led her upstairs and out onto the balcony.  They slowly made their way upwards and Buffy peered down at the village below as it steadily grew smaller.  Somewhere down there Xander was fighting demons; different to the ones that she fought every night—but it was still a battle for his life.  Lifting her face to the cool night air Buffy felt her anguish start to drift into the background.


“How about here, luv?” Spike led her through to what looked like a small platform, the leaves and branches about it opening up to reveal the clear sky above. 


“It’s perfect.” Buffy moved towards the centre of the opening, settling herself on a soft bed of leaves that had shifted into place, “It’s so beautiful here, peaceful.  It’s like nothing else exists, all the bad and evil things are just gone and I can just be me.”


Spike sat down behind Buffy, and pulled her back into his arms. Neither spoke for a long time, both happy to let the quiet of their haven wash over them.  “Do you miss her?” Buffy asked suddenly.


Spike didn’t need to ask who she was talking about, “Yeah, I miss her.”


“Do you wish she were here… instead of me, I mean?” Buffy said the words so softly that had he not been a vampire Spike would have missed them.


“No, never, how could you even think….” a sliver of fear rushed through him, “Is that what you think?  That I’m only with you because….” Spike clenched his jaw, trying to calm the emotions that were clamouring up to the surface.  A part of him wanted to rage at her for trusting him so little, for doubting his love for her and Spike consciously pushed his angry feelings away. He knew that Buffy was feeling insecure, and that Xander’s behaviour was making her question her place in the lives of those around her.


Choosing his words carefully Spike tightened his embrace, trying to reassure her through his touch as well as with his words, “What I feel for you is just as real and just as strong as what I felt for Becca.”  He paused, trying to find the words to explain the way he felt, “Does the Watcher have feelings for Anya?”


“Huh, yeah it looks like he does. But what….?” Buffy turned to look at him in confusion.


“I’m thinkin’ that the Watcher is even in love with her.” 


“Yeah I think he is. He kinda reminds me of when he was with Miss Calandar… Jenny.”


“The bird Angelus killed?” Spike watched a shadow of grief pass behind her eyes and realised that Buffy blamed herself for the loss of the teacher.


“Don’t you be blaming yourself now.  You lay that at Angelus’ door and nowhere else, was the bastard’s doin’ not yours.  What I’m meaning to say is that from everything I’ve heard ole Rupert loved the teacher.”


Buffy nodded, “He really did.”


“So if he loved this Jenny bird, does that mean that he loves Anya any less, or wishes she was someone else?” Spike hoped she would understand what he was trying to get out.


“No, of course not, Miss Calendar died; it would be horrible if Giles never found love again.”


“An’ does that mean that he’s forgotten her or doesn’t love her anymore?” Spike waited for Buffy to process his words.


“No, I think a part of Giles will always love Miss Calendar.” 


“Yeah a part of him will, just like a part of me will always love Becca.  The difference between them and us is Becca came back. You and her should never have met, but you did and that’s what makes it hard.” Spike moved Buffy around to face him, “I love you Buffy.  I loved you before you before Rebecca came back and I loved you while she was here and I still love you now she’s gone.  She knew how I felt about you, just as she knew that if you an I had been together when she returned that I never would have left you.  I would have cared for her and watched out for her, but I would never have left you or loved you any less.”


Buffy pouted, dropping her gaze to the ground between them, “I guess…” she murmured.


Spike growled in frustration, “Dammit, Slayer, I love you. What do I bloody well have to say to make you believe me?”


Buffy shrugged, “I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know I’m being all needy.”


Spike gathered her back into his arms, “Nothin’ to be sorry for, pet.  I’m thinking that a few of the whelp’s poisonous little barbs have found their mark over the last few days.  You can’t save him this time, that’s up to the boy—but don’t let him take you down with him.  If you start doubting those around you, you’re not going to win this fight.  Which, I might add, is exactly what that bastard Travers wants.”


“Travers.” Buffy filled the name with as much venom as she could muster, “Yeah, you’re right, it’s his fault.  He did this.  He’s the cause and he is so going to get his ass kicked.” Buffy’s mood lightened, “Thank you, honey. You always know what to do to make me feel better.”


Spike chuckled, “What can I say, it’s a gift.”


Buffy laughed, “Yes you are very gifted, aren’t you?” She let her hand slide across his chest, “in many different areas.”


“Care to find out how many?” Spike ran his hands across her hips and up under her shirt, cupping her lace covered breasts in his hands and teasing her nipples with his thumbs.


“Well lets see,” Buffy’s voice hitched as she spoke, “there’s your hands, very gifted with those.” She moaned as one of his hands slipped beneath her bra to tweak the sensitive flesh of her nipple while the other moved to unbutton her shirt with lightening speed, before returning to its previous task.


The sound of tearing fabric soon filled the night air as Spike exposed her heating skin to the cool air.  Bending his head to her breasts he began to place soft kisses across her skin until he reached one firm nub.  He sucked lightly as it slipped between his lips, teasing it with his tongue.


Buffy began to wriggle as she tried to manoeuvre her body closer to his “And that mouth with those lips and ughhh, god, that tongue...” she ran her hands up to his neck pressing his head even closer to her skin, “definitely gifted there.”  She yelped as his blunt teeth nipped at her skin before he released her breast with a soft pop.  “Hey!” she protested.


Spike grinned, curling his tongue behind his teeth as a wicked light filled his eyes. 


“Spike…what are you up to?” Buffy watched him warily.


Spike chuckled, his voice carrying a hint of evil intent.  Slowly and with deliberate care he began to drift his hands outwards from her breasts, turning his hands so that the hardness of his fingernails scratched lightly across her skin.  His focus was solely on his hands as he dragged them downwards to her waist.  His eyes darkening as he watched tiny shivers of pleasure wash over her at the new sensation.  As his fingertips reached the waistband of her pants he grabbed her hips tightly and pulled her forward to press firmly against his groin in one fluid motion.


“Lean back,” he ordered, bringing one arm up to support her back, “Further.”


Buffy lay outstretched before him, his firm grip was the only thing stopping her from touching the ground.  She felt her skin begin to heat as Spike’s gaze drifted appreciatively across her exposed flesh.  Her breath came in small ragged gasps as he moved his palm across her body, stopping occasionally to caress and tease the skin beneath it.  Buffy turned her own gaze to the arm that held her aloft, the muscles defined in sharp relief; she let her eyes trace a path downwards, before drifting back up to his face.


“You want something, Slayer?” Spike tightened his grip on her waist sending a wave of pain-tinged sensation coursing through her body.


Buffy marvelled at how Spike could make her hurt in all the right ways, “Clothes,” she breathed, “way too many clothes.”


“I’ll just have to fix that then,” Spike lowered her carefully to the ground before tearing away her shirt and the remnants of her bra.  Turning his attention to her pants he slowly popped the buttons before moving backwards as he slid the fabric down her legs; only to be brought to a stop as he encountered her still-booted feet.


“Forgot about those did ya?” Buffy giggled.


Spike threw her a look of warning, growling softly.


“Oops, sorry,” Buffy stretched her arms above her head, “I’ll just lay here and be quiet, shall I?”


Spike ignored her little display, concentrating on removing her boots and ignoring her mewl of protest.  Grinning to himself as he finally managed to divest his Slayer of the last of her clothing, he stood up and disappeared swiftly through the branches.


“Spike?” Buffy propped herself up on her elbows, “Spike?” she extended her senses, relieved when she felt the familiar tingle that signified he was close by.  Standing up she looked around her, “Ok, Big Bad, what are you up too?” she looked around for her clothes, muttering under her breath when she realised that he had somehow managed to take them with him.


Buffy stilled, listening to the sounds of the night as she tried to pinpoint just where her vampire was hiding.  To her right she heard a soft rustling and the almost indistinguishable noise of a twig bending under the weight of a foot.  Carefully she moved in the direction of the sound, sweeping the branches aside with a sudden movement, “Gotcha.” Frowning at the emptiness before her Buffy stomped her foot in frustration, “Ouch,” she winced as something dug into the tender flesh.


“Slayer,” a voice sing-songed from across the platform.


Buffy whirled in its direction, “Spike!” She shivered as she moved back into the centre of the opening, slowly turning around as she waited for him to speak again.


“Here kitty kitty,” Spike’s voice took on a gravelly quality and seemed to come from all around her.


Buffy felt the urge to pout and stomp her foot again in frustration, the only thing stopping her was the small seed of mischief that had planted itself in her mind.


“Spike come out,” she called, shivering dramatically “I’m so cold…brrr,” she crossed her arms around her waist in a mock attempt to warm herself, pushing her breasts upwards as she did. “Oh look at that, the cold has made my nipples all… pointy”.


She smiled to herself as she heard a growl come from the branches nearby. Rubbing her hands seductively across her body she turned her back to where she thought he was hiding.  “Spike, please, I really am cold, even my tiny little toes are getting all frosty,” she slowly bent over, as if to inspect the aforementioned appendages.


Buffy gave a squeal of surprise as a firm and very naked body grabbed her from behind with a roar, lifting her up and carrying her forward towards the edge of the clearing.


 An involuntary gasp escaped from the back of her throat when she found herself pressed roughly against an old stump.  It stood about waist high, and her torso was pressed down against its top as the coarse bark of its side ground against her clit.  Her cries of protest were silenced however as a smooth hard cock made its way expertly into her depths, setting a frantic pace almost immediately.


Buffy felt like she would pass out from an overload of stimuli.  With each smooth stroke Spike would cause her nipples to shift against the smooth wood, until they hardened into tight little nubs.  Her clit felt as though it were being rubbed raw as the bark pressed deep with each thrust.


She cried out again when Spike pulled her back upright, “Arms behind me,” he ordered.  Buddy instantly twisted her arms backwards, linking her fingers together in the small of his back.


As Spike increased his pace, he bought one hand up to tease her nipples while the other slid to her clit, rubbing and tweaking the abused flesh, while protecting it from any further punishment from the unforgiving wood.


“Word to the wise, luv,” he bought his mouth close to her ear, “never tease a vampire.”  He lowered his mouth to her throat and vamping out he bit down hard, allowing his fangs to plunge deep into her throat he timed his pulls to match the thrust of his hips.


Buffy could stand no more, with his hands teasing her outwardly, and his fangs and cock deep within, she let herself be immersed in pleasure.