William’s Always There
Chapter 8- William’s Always There
When Buffy opened her house’s door that same night after someone had knocked, she was surprised to see Angel standing there, absently running his hand over his stomach.
“Hi,” she said. “Come in.” He walked past her and into her living room, sitting down on the couch and looking at the open notebook sitting on her coffee table.
“That handwriting isn’t yours,” he said, confused. “And it seems familiar.”
“Spike wrote poems in my notebook,” she replied, frowning. “Well, actually it was William, but you know what I meant.”
“No, I don’t,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow. “For all I know, Spike’s been here since his mind-trip back to the 1880s.”
“And why would he come here?” she asked.
“Because I saw you with him last night, Buffy,” he replied sternly. “I saw you two kiss.” Her eyes widened. “Don’t say you’re sorry, don’t lie about it- I don’t want to hear it.”
“Then what do you want?” she asked quietly.
“I want to know if you have feelings for him,” he said, and she looked away. “Tell me, Buffy.”
“I didn’t mind him when he was William,” she said, sighing. “But I don’t have feelings for Spike.”
“So why didn’t you push him away faster?” Angel asked. “Why didn’t you stake him?”
“Because it wouldn’t have been right,” she answered, sitting down beside him. “I want to kill him in a fight, not when I catch him off-guard.”
“It shouldn’t matter,” he replied. “You should want to kill him whenever you have the chance to.”
“Did you really come here to fight about Spike?” she asked, and he stood up, beginning to pace. “Angel?”
“I’ve decided to leave,” he said, and she felt as if her heart had stopped beating.
“What?” she asked, not willing to believe a word he had said.
“We both know I’m a distraction to you, and I don’t want to be the reason something happens to you,” he said, looking down. “I can’t ever give you what you deserve, Buffy, not really. Marriage, children…”
“I don’t want those things!” she said loudly, standing up. “I’m not going to live past 25 as it is!”
“You might if you stop directing all of your attention towards me and making yourself a greater target to the things that are coming after you,” he said, looking at her. “I love you, but we can’t be together, Buffy. Not again.”
“So what’re you saying?” she asked, tears beginning to form in her eyes. “You’re leaving me?”
“Yes,” he answered, looking away again. “I’ll be gone as soon as the sun sets tomorrow.”
“Where are you going to go?” she asked, in disbelief that he was going to walk away from her and not be around anymore.
“I don’t know,” he said, shrugging. “I’ll find somewhere to stay and contact you if I find a permanent place.”
“You’re really going to do this?” she asked. “You’re really going to run off somewhere and forget about everything we had?”
“I’ll never forget about what we had,” he said firmly. “I love you, and I-”
“If you truly love me, you wouldn’t want to go,” she cut in, crossing her arms. “Go. If you don’t want to be here, then go. Maybe we’ll all be better off.”
“No, I don’t want to hear it,” she said, looking down as more tears began to escape her eyes. “Just go.”
“I won’t come back tomorrow and say goodbye,” he replied, and she wiped off her cheeks.
“Then this is it,” she said, looking at him. “Goodbye, Angel.”
“Goodbye, Buffy,” he replied quietly, taking one last look at her before walking out, ignoring the sound of her sobs as he shut the door.
* * * * *
Spike watched Angel walk away from Buffy’s house and waited for a long moment before going to the door and knocking. Buffy opened it, wiping off her cheeks once again and looking at him with red eyes.
“What do you want?” she asked sharply.
“Came to check on you,” he said quietly. “I’m sorry he’s leaving, luv.”
“You know about that?” she asked, surprised when he nodded. “How?”
“Because he asked me to leave, too,” he said, and she raised an eyebrow. “It seems he wants you to have a normal life, one that neither of us can ever give you.”
“What’re you talking about?” she asked, stepping back as he walked in and wrapped his arms around her, pressing his lips to hers. She pushed him back after a moment and looked at him, stunned.
“It’s obvious I like you, Slayer,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “Even to a moron like Angel.”
“You don’t like me, Spike- you want to kill me,” she replied, and he shrugged, wrapping his arms around her again, not surprised when she pushed him away for the second time. “Stop touching me like that! It’s creeping me out!”
“Sorry, but I’m trying to make a point here,” he said, looking into her eyes. “I like you, Buffy, and I’m not about to leave because a wanker like your ex wants me to go. I want to stay here and see if there’s ever going to be a possibility for us to try being together.”
“And what if I know that’s never going to happen?” she asked, crossing her arms.
“I don’t see why you’re denying you have feelings for me, even if they’re minute,” he said. “You wanted me to kiss you that night by the cop car, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but-” she cut herself off, quickly backing away from him as he began to move closer to her. “I don’t want you, Spike, and I don’t ever want to date you. You don’t have a soul.”
“So what?” he asked. “I didn’t have a soul when William was playing houseguest in my brain the other day. He’s a part of me all the time, even if you don’t see it. I can be him for the rest of my existence if that’s what you want, Buffy.” She looked away. “Give me a chance. That’s all I want is just a chance.” When he embraced her, he smiled when she didn’t try moving away from him. “I can be good for you, Slayer.”
“And what happens if you’re not?” she asked, looking at him. “Do I get to stake you?”
“Yep,” he answered, chuckling when her eyes widened. “Because if I can’t make you happy, then I have nothing else to live for.” He leaned down and kissed her again, happy when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.
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