Title: Shadows of the past
Author: Kur
Disclaimer: nothing is mine. Only the plot.
Rating: G?
Pairing: Buffy & Spike
Spoilers: Season 2
Summary: Buffy gets more than transformed by the costume in S2's Halloween and discovers the reason she couldn't ever beat Spike.
Thanks: to Melissa, my wonderful, extraordinary beta. She’s the best!
Note: italics are for thoughts.
SHADOWS OF THE PAST


CHAPTER 1

She was so afraid. She didn’t remember any particular moment in her life in which she had been so terrified. Yet, she couldn’t remember ANY moment in her life but that wasn’t the point. Everything in this place was so strange and horrible. Their manners, their behaviour, their outfits. Everything.

Everybody was so violent! Even the air hummed with a terrible mixture of noises: shrieks, yells and tears. She was curled in that spot of another odd place of that house, cupping her ears with both shaking hands, her eyes wide with fear as the man’s face changed to that of a monster. She never knew how she managed to get to her feet and put them in motion to run as far as she could from him.

The streets, the lights, people running, all were a blurring line while she escaped praying to find some shelter, some refuge to hide from the hideous creature that was chasing her. A filthy and dark alley blinked its eye and she welcomed it, jumping into its narrow embrace.


“I don’t mind what you have to do to get rid of her! Knock her unconscious, tie her up, whatever. Last thing we need now is the Slayer…” - Ethan paused for a brief moment, gaping at the man in front of him with sparkling eyes. “Forget that. She’s not the Slayer anymore. She is wearing the dress! Oh, my, isn’t this glorious? I’m going to send her so far away that Rupert will mourn over an absent body! Not even a finger for him to grieve on. Go and find her. Take this - he handed a yellow paper to his subordinate, - and when you spot her do exactly as I say.”

“This is just… neat! The most fanbloodytastic night in years! Anarchy in S.D… Don’t know what I want but I know where I get it…” But I do know! And just bloody here! Look at all the goodies in such a delusional state, thinking they’re real demons! Only they are not and it’d be so easy to dispatch them in the most unmerciful way! I wish the Slayer’d be wearing a costume… I wish I could find her defenceless and crying and…”

The sudden crash sent him to the ground with a resounding thump. The lady didn’t even give him a second look but continued her madly race along the alley, sorting boxes and piles of rubbish as she went. Spike jumped to his feet, really cross. What the hell? I’m going to rip her throat out! Sodding girl…

A fat boy appeared from nowhere and pinned her to the nearest wall. A pirate, no less and you’re out of water my friend! The lady is mine to… The streetlight shone on her horrified face and Spike stopped on his feet. The Slayer! The Slayer just as he had dreamt to find her… Only a damsel in distress and so close… He started to run towards them, grinning as a madman, anticipating the pleasure of… Another man, dressed in an old-fashioned tuxedo, appeared beside them, grabbed the nit’s neck and sent him flying across the slim lane. Spike checked the boy’s path and ducked just in time to avoid him. Precious seconds, though. She was accepting the man’s helpful hand; she trusted him enough not to pay any attention to the door that emerged from a cloud of blue smoke just in the middle of an impossible place. She was so grateful from being rescued that she was taken by surprise when the man gave her a powerful shove to send her through the opened door and shut it behind her.

“No! You fucking wanker!” - Spike was blind with rage – “She was mine to kill! She was…”

The blow was so hard that he ended among the dustbins. The two rows of cardboard boxes that were piled next to them shook and quaked till they fell over him. He yelled insults for another second till his voice became weaker and faded away.

The man turned round in a hurry to face the new group of people behind him. The leader grabbed him by the collar; his eyes looking above his shoulders to the door on the wall.
“What have you done with her?” – his sharp long teeth glimmered under the lights.
“Don’t fuss so much, vampire! She is gone and so are we!”

The door and the man evaporated in the same bluish cloud leaving Angel gawking at his empty hands; an angry groan growing in his mouth.



Her temple collided against a wall and the world seemed to writhe for a crazy moment till it finally got still. Buffy grunted behind the wooden boxes while she rubbed her ass vigorously. It hurt like hell. Wait till I put my hands on you! You’re going to beg for mercy, mister! Why on earth had he to push me so hard? Wasn’t enough to just say, “Here”, and point at that stupid door? Wait a minute… Where’s the door?

“If only I could get rid of these strands of synthetic hair, I’ll probably find it.” She pushed them out from her eyes but no matter how she tried, it was impossible to remove the wig from her head. It seemed glued to it permanently. She was about to get to her feet when a sudden bump sounded against the boxes and the world beyond them seemed to get black. White fabric had covered the joint between them. There’s someone there! Someone to ask… Muffled voices, grunts and a growl slipped along the damp alley. It was enough to make her remain behind the box. Not the right time for asking about anything if she didn’t want to get another wound in her gut. A clattering sound and then the joint was free again. Buffy risked a glimpse. A woman dressed in a dirty old-fashioned gown was picking up something from the floor. Coins! They flickered under the lamps with a wicked twinkle. Okay, this Halloween thing was getting worse than she thought. Getting paid for a quickie as if it was common day stuff wasn’t exactly funny.
This must be some spell. I must…

She couldn’t complete the sentence as she was dragged from behind the boxes by a strong hand. “Hey, watch it!”

“You’re a mucky lil’creature, ah? Think ya can duck there and nick clients from me? Go somewhere else, tiny dirty flea!”

This wasn’t happening. A woman was pulling her arm and jostling her body along the alley and she hadn’t been able to get rid of her iron fist! Where was her super strength when she needed it? She finally landed in another street, wider this time, on her sore ass. Again.

A few kids came to watch at her closely. Buffy grimaced at the look of their clothes. Who on earth had disguised them as poor stray children? Their parents must be the most perverted adults in the whole galaxy! One of them, a sympathetic smile dancing on a stained face offered his little hand and she doubted only a second. Come on, it’s only a costume, you silly. Once on her feet she withdrew her hand in a hurry. She could have sworn that she’d actually see the fleas jumping from the coat-frayed fabric like divers in an Acapulco cliff.

Buffy quickly thanked them and began to walk as fast as she could. Dizziness was trying to take her down but no way in hell she was going to stay there for them to…“Okay, let’s stop for a minute. Lean against this wall and recover your head. And while you’re at it, why don’t you take a look around? I can’t be THAT lost. It’s my city, damn it!”

There was a bunch of people gathered in a corner around a bin. They’re rubbing their hands above the orange dancing flames and Buffy realized only at that very moment how cold the weather was. Three dim streetlights cast shadows on them. She shook her head briefly. They looked like a postcard; an old painting that had lost its colours. Buffy raised her eyes. The light-posts were strange, black as made of iron, and the light that flickered behind the dirty glass didn’t seem as a bulb but as a…flame. A wavering flame. And the buildings… Brown brick walls with one or two doors and small grimy windows squeezed against each other, fighting for climbing higher into the rancid air.

Buffy started to walk, slowly at first, then at a hurried speed. From some thresholds, hidden in shadows, came a distant noise of children squabbling and angry unintelligible prattle. A siren howled in the horizon and three more squealed in reply. Her pace became a race. Dogs were barking somewhere but she was too busy trying not to twist her ankles on the cobblestoned streets. Cobblestone? WHERE AM I? Something pulled the hem of her long dress sharply and forced her to stop. A skinny dog was chomping at the fabric as if it’d turned into the best of the steaks. “Oh, please go away! I can’t stay the whole night playing “Tug-of-war” with you!” Buffy kicked its nose but it took her three more attempts to make the squalid bastard ran away. It didn’t go very far, though. It stood nearby, staring at her from behind an ugly man that was scowling at her with a nasty glare. A grin was curving his lips showing nothing but two rows of sipping gums.

Buffy looked down at the torn pink skirt, up at the disgusting man, ahead at the rows of narrow streets. Her feet decided before her own mind and they flew across the pavement at their own rhythm. It was hard to breathe properly due to the corset that constricted her chest and the horrible smell, a mixture of filth and vinegar that wandered in the chilly breeze. Four blocks ahead, she allowed herself a stop. The sudden rattling of a train caught her eyes. A bridge. There was a bridge near. Without even thinking she lurched on it. The heels of her boots clattered on the stoned footpath while her hand slipped hurriedly along the ornamental balustrade. The river flowing down below was a dark ribbon frilled with golden laces. The shocking glimpse that she caught by the corner of a weeping eye froze her to her bones. It was impossible! “I’m having the most horrible nightmare of my life. No strength, no special powers, a simple and ordinary girl, lost and THAT is not there ‘cause this is a dream and I’m going to open my eyes NOW and it’s going to disappear… Come on, open your eyes. Do it!” Ding, dong… The bells mocked her with a cruel ring and the round face of the clock gawked at her scornfully from the distance. Ten o’clock. Big Ben’s ten deep, husky laughs.

A sea of masts wafted on the waters of the Thames pointing at the full moon astonished for having the chance to see its beauty instead of being wrapped in a thick fog. Coldness there was unbearable. She had no choice but to keep on going. If this IS a bad dream it doesn’t matter where I go ‘cause I’m going to reach only one point: the sweaty sheets of my own bed. “What if it’s not…? No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you even consider that!”
She went down the steps of the bridge and started running again. The whole place was awful! “If this is London I so prefer SunnyD!”

“Oh, look what the cat ‘as brought!” – all of a sudden she was grabbed violently by an arm and forced to turn round. Two men leering at her, again, and why the hell wasn’t she paying attention to the streets? “Isn’t she beautiful mate? Where were ya garn lil’ princess? Think ya should stay for a while. It’s so bloody chillin’ tonight… Why don’t ya sha us your treasures, princess?”

Disgusting hands crawled to her breasts as Buffy fought back the fingers that torn the dress neckline. Her nails traced three gashes on the shaggy cheek. “Catty bird! I’ll teach ya sum manners!”

The hard slap reopened the wound on her temple and a rush of pain severed her head in two like a passing lightning bolt. Oh, don’t panic! Super strength or not you have to get rid of these bastards! She ducked in time to avoid the next blow, jostle the man aside, kicked the other one’s balls and didn’t stay to a further battle she knew she couldn’t win. Instead, she resumed her race and only stopped to inhale deeply. The dots that had been dancing in front of her eyes became circles of violet and red. I can’t keep on like this. I’m going to spit my lungs on the road and then, bye, bye, home.

A sudden echoing sound reverberated along the pavement stones. Buffy tried to turn round hastily but she hardly even moved. The approaching carriage was a hellish demon determined to run her over. The only sound that she could hear was that of the hooves beating the street as drums marking a holly ritual. The horses went bigger and blacker till they filled every corner of her horrified eyes and engulfed her into a poisonous darkness.


He was exhausted. Ten o’clock and he was still on his way home, worried about his mother and more worried about the bills that his little salary wouldn’t be able to cancel. He’d like a better job; something that had to do with his Oxford degree but it was pointless. Since his father had died, they weren’t in any position to discard anything. They still kept the house, of course, but what would happen when the small amount of money that was left in the bank disappear? He’d never been concerned too much about those issues before. At least not until Dr. Gull came out with the awful and inevitable truth. “Consumption”, he said and the word seemed to have grown as a hideous beast that swallowed every thread of air from the room. The following nights were a bunch of sleepless hours that only left him a pair of reddish eyes and a tremendous marble globe where his head had been. He sighed, spying through the window at the beautiful night. I hope tomorrow will be as wonderful as this. I can’t wait to see how Cecily shines under the moonbeams.

“Oh, for all the…” - his forehead cracked against the window frame when the carriage made a harsh and sudden turn. The angry voice of the driver mixed up with the staccato of heavy boots.

William sighed again mulling over getting out or staying in there, safe. The shouts were noisy enough to make up his mind. If that fellow kept on screaming like that he would probably be at home by midnight.

The man was bent over some figure clad in a dirty pink silk dress, pulling her arm as if he wanted to rip it off from its socket. “Get up, ya lousy rascal! Won’t let ya ruin me night, you hear?”

“Oh, in God’s name, man! Can’t you see she’s fainted?” – his blue eyes followed the odd patterns of red on the girl’s face. Red drawings on a white handkerchief… He shivered at the thought. “Put her in the carriage. We can take her to a good… what?”

“I’m not takin’ anybody anywhere. If ya wanna ‘elp ‘er it’s your problem. B’sides, it’ll cost ya a few more to take ‘er to a ‘ospital. I ‘ave to travel a lil’ further and in nah way I’m getting’ ‘ome later for a silly cow!”

“I see” - he nodded, feeling a rush of blush on his cheeks as he tried to stay calm – “Of course if you want to take advantage of this awful situation I’m powerless. But we can’t just leave her in…”

“Ya paid me for a ride to Belgrave Road and there I’m goin’. And if ya wanna to take ‘er with ya, well, there I’ll drop ya both.”

“Just put her into the carriage!” – he commanded after thinking over his choices. He hadn’t too much money but just the trip fee. And even if he had had a spare penny, time was running wild and he had to return home as soon as possible.

He spent the rest of the trip, fifteen long minutes, with his eyes going from the window to the young girl spread on the other seat, reaching out one hand now and then in order to prevent her from falling to the floor. Once facing his own house, his determination wavered. What was he going to say to his mother? She was awake of course. The flickering yellow lamp beckoned at him from behind the knitted curtain.

The annoyed driver waited for a little bit, nearly digging a hole in his back, till he finally pull the fainted figure out of the carriage and almost threw her at his surprised arms.

“There ya are. Now me money” - five rough fingers clad in brown fingerless gloves danced in front of the wider blue eyes. He left in a whirl of jangling noises, bitten insults and rings of dust.

William had no chance but picked the girl up. She was so light! And very young, apparently. A looming figure appeared at the threshold and he hesitated for a second. A shiver ran wildly down his spine and a quick, absurd thought flashed through his mind. I’m standing at the edge of the abyss, I’m looking into it and it’ll gobble me completely.
“Oh, good heavens! What happened, dear?” – his mother stepped out of the gloomy threshold.

“My…the carriage ran her over, - he spluttered, - and I just couldn’t leave her…”

“Of course not! Quickly, take her inside. Oh, my, the guest room is in no proper condition and I can’t fix it right now!”

“Don’t worry, mother. I’ll put her in my room for tonight” - he averted his eyes, sheepishly.

“Poor thing! She could have…” - she couldn’t finish the phrase but only shudder at the implications, - “I’ll get some water and a cloth.”

William closed his eyes for a moment and sighed deeply. One of the most painful things he had had to do was to dismiss Mrs. Frebble. She had been in their family for more than ten years but he couldn’t afford and extra wage at that moment, no matter her promises of charging him nothing for looking after his mother. He should have accepted instead of leaving his mother to take care of everything in the house but it would not be fair for the old maid. Twice a week a girl came to do the heavy housework but that was all. He managed to push back the purple velvet covers and place the young girl on the linen white sheets. The gas lamp shone blindly for a second till he lowered it down to a soft orange.