Chapter Nineteen: And It Feels So Good


It was her scent that pulled him out of his sleep. The sweet tangy vanilla fragrance that made him water at the mouth and stirred other not so innocent parts of his anatomy into full awareness. Spike’s eyes slowly opened, blearily focusing on the top of Buffy’s blonde head, his nose snuggly buried in her golden locks. Breathing in her wonderful smell one last time, he raised his head. Though he loved the feel of Buffy’s body half draped over his own, sleeping while sitting upright was a little confining. Reaching behind his back, Spike pulled out the pile of pillows that were keeping him propped up. With a steady hold on a still dormant Buffy, he gently lowered the both of them so that his head lay on a single pillow while hers rested on his chest.

‘That’s a lil’ better,’ he reflected.

Spike tried to get comfortable as he mildly wiggled around but he just couldn’t seem to find a satisfying position. Letting out an exasperated groan, he picked Buffy up from off of his chest and gently lowered her onto another fluffy pillow beside him. She whimpered slightly, unconsciously protesting the loss of contact, but quickly returned to her peaceful slumber. Spike glanced down at Buffy, his azure stare roaming over her innocent looking face. It was only as his gaze scanned over the rest of her did he notice what she was wearing. His red silk shirt. Spike grew harder at the realization. There wasn’t anything sexier than his girl wearing nothing but his shirt. He smiled widely at the thought. Buffy was now officially his girl.

Daring to take his eyes away from her, Spike peered down at his own body, grimacing at the unsightly bandages he was wrapped in. He needed to get these things off. Compared to last night, he felt a hell of a lot better, sensing that all of his wounds had at least sealed up. Buffy’s blood and a little bit of rest had done the trick. It still hurt a bit but only when he moved abruptly or when he stretched too far. It was really more of a nuisance than anything else. Sliding off the mattress, an indifferently naked Spike quietly padded over to the washroom, carefully closing the door behind him.

Flicking on the light switch, he looked down at his chest, instantly grabbing at the bandages. He unraveled the length of gauze and cloth that Buffy had wrapped his torso up in the previous night. The lack of reflection prevented him from examining his face in the mirror, but what he saw when he simply looked down at himself in the exposing bathroom fluorescent light genuinely surprised him. Reddened circles, the faint outlines of crosses, rosy tinted skin and a few yellow and purple bruises were all that remained of his stay at Casa de Giles. Though he remembered being maliciously assaulted at the hands of the spiteful ex-Watcher, any sign of that extensive torture was now barely visible on his healing body.

He had never recuperated this quickly before. Maybe the sudden jolt he had experienced after the witch had disengaged her hindrance spell had actually concentrated his vampire abilities. It would explain the sudden ease at which he had held down the rabid werewolf after the pup had broken free of its cage. Maybe his vampire healing had also been jump started, working at a faster and more efficient rate than it usually did. Or perhaps it had something to do with Buffy’s blood. She wasn’t a Slayer or his Sire, so there were no healing properties that he knew of flowing through her veins. Maybe just knowing that she had given it to him freely, willingly giving up a part of herself so that his own body could heal, had been all it took to assist for his speedy self-restoration. Who knew? Perhaps mind over matter did truly work and recognizing that Buffy wanted him to get better was just what he needed for it to occur. Spike shook his head. It really didn’t matter how it happened. He was just happy he wasn’t a broken mess anymore.

Switching the lights off as he left the bathroom, Spike strolled back over to the bed, finding Buffy where he had left her. He couldn’t help but smirk as he stared down at her, his eyes focused on the red silk of his shirt riding up her thigh, its top few buttons open, giving Spike a sneak peak at the top of her perky breasts. Licking his lips, he slid back down next to her, possessively laying his hand flat over her stomach. Buffy intuitively rolled toward his touch, reaching out to him. He pulled her towards him, spooning her back against his chest, cautious not to press his turgid cock against her ass. He didn’t want to wake her up, especially in that way. They’re relationship was finally starting to turn in the direction he wanted it to and Spike wasn’t about to muddle things up by inadvertently insinuating he wanted sex. Not saying that he didn’t crave it though.

Buffy’s eyes fluttered open at the feel of a strong arm gingerly wrapped around her waist. Awakening from her restful sleep, she turned in Spike’s arms, rolling so that she could look into his wonderful face. A genuine smile greeted her, his sparkling clear blue eyes darting back and forth, assessing how awake she really was. Buffy smiled back. “Good morning,” she mumbled. Her brow scrunched for a moment as she noticed the room’s darkened state, only a faint light coming from a dim lamp in the room’s far corner. “It is morning, isn’t it?”

Spike had caught whiff of the sunrise a few hours back but had naturally gone back to sleep. He could still sense the bright sunlight that would have filled the room with its fatal rays if it weren’t for the black heavy curtains Buffy had closed shut the night before. He nodded. “Close enough. Reckon it’s probably just past noon.”

“Hmmmm…” she hummed incoherently as her eyes glanced down to his bare, sculpted chest. Wait a minute. Bare? “Spike, did you take off your bandages?” she gently scolded as she checked over his surprisingly recovered body.

“They chaffed,” he rationalized, hoping she wasn’t about to berate him for doing it.

Buffy shrugged. “Guess it’s alright. You look more or less okay. Gotta love that supernatural vampire healing,” she admitted, bringing her small warm hand to his chest, dragging her fingertips across the scars that would soon disappear.

Spike bit his lips as she stroked the sensitive skin, wishing those warm digits would inch over to his hardening nipple. Taking the small hand in his, he put an end to the unintentionally stimulating caresses. Planting a kiss on her open palm, Spike decided to change the topic. “So did you sleep well, pet?”

“Yeah,” Buffy responded, her face contorting into another perplexed expression before the smile returned to her lips. “I actually did.”

“I don’t follow,” Spike stated, feeling a little confused himself.

“No nightmares,” she explained happily.

“Good to hear, luv,” he replied, reaching out to tuck a piece of stray blonde hair behind her ear. “D’ever figure out who was chasin’ you?”

“Nope,” she answered, dropping the issue. Buffy wasn’t sure why she didn’t tell him it had been Damon haunting all of her dreams. She knew she should but she didn’t want to bring him up. Mentioning the recalcitrant vampire would only anger Spike and ruin the warm, happy moment they were having. Buffy really didn’t want that.

Spike’s hand slid from the side of her face, down her marked neck, to the silk collar of the shirt she was wearing. His eyes darkened with lust as his fingers fiddled with the crimson colored material, his gaze focused on her exposed cleavage. “Love the shirt, pet,” he remarked.

“What this old thing?” Buffy joked as she observed him ogling her. She tried to act nonchalant even though his touches felt like fire against her skin, making her body hum with anticipation. “Just found it lying around.”

“So the shirt’s not yours?” Spike played along, distractedly tracing the two unfastened buttons.

“No, but the person who owns it is,” Buffy coyly replied.

It took a few seconds for what she had just said to sink in, but the instant that Spike comprehended that Buffy had indirectly declared he belonged to her; the vampire smashed his lips against hers. Pushing his tongue into her willing mouth, he growled possessively when he felt her fingers rake through his disheveled platinum hair. He loved how her hot tongue wrestled back against his cool one. He loved how sweet she tasted and how soft she felt beneath him. He loved how he could smell her pungent arousal and how the guilt he used to have for feeling like he was taking advantage of her was gone. But what Spike truly loved the most was that he could kiss her like this whenever he wanted to and she would want it just as much as he did. God, he loved kissing this girl.

Buffy pulled away, gasping for air, her chest heaving for frantic breath as she stared up into his desire filled gaze. Without much thought, Buffy took the hand that had been playing with her shirt and brought it to the few remaining buttons that were still buttoned up. In an unspoken invitation, she let go of his hand and waited for him to do what she hoped he would.

Spike’s attention flew to his hand, now nestled between her breasts. He rolled one of the buttons between his fingers, looking back into her face to make sure he had her full consent. When she nodded, Spike worked diligently, unbuttoning one at a time until the shirt was completely undone. Her breath hitched when his hand slipped beneath the silk, pulling at the material to reveal one soft round mound, his cool sensuous touch and the room’s slight draft causing the rosy nipple to harden. Soon the rest of the crimson shirt was brushed aside, leaving Buffy completely exposed.

Spike paused for a moment, taking in the sight of her. “So beautiful…” he huskily whispered.

The state of her arousal tickled his nose once again, which made his eyes dart down from her breasts to the wet junction between her thighs. He wanted nothing more than to bury himself in her, to feel himself encased in her searing velvety quim. Getting a little too excited, Spike brought his attention back to Buffy’s face. He was surprised to see she wasn’t blushing beet red with embarrassment. Instead she met his lustful gaze with her own, never taking her yearning hazel eyes from his.

Capturing his hand once again, Buffy brought it to his mark on the side of her neck. He instinctively brushed the lightly scarred flesh with his thumb, making Buffy shiver beneath him. “Spike…” she moaned.

Spike was having a little difficulty keeping it together. He let out a long hoarse breath in attempt to calm himself down. He didn’t want to rush anything. “Christ, pet. I want you so much,” he confessed, his voice shaky with need as he continued to stroke his marks.

“I want you too,” she also admitted, wrapping her arm around his neck to pull his face back down to hers. “Make love to me, Spike.”

At first he wasn’t sure if he had heard her correctly. Only after a few dumbfounded moments, Spike realized what it was that she was asking of him. Buffy wanted him to make love to her. It was a simple request, but one that he hadn’t been expecting to hear. Taking in another deep breath, Spike composed himself. He felt like a fumbling nervous virgin even though it wasn’t going to be his first time. Not by a long shot. Christ, it wouldn’t even be the fist time he had sex with Buffy. Yet it’d been a while since he’d technically “made love”.

In the few years since Dru had left him, the only kind of sex he had had could only be described as fucking. He had refused to invest any of his emotions into any potential relationship that had come his way. Even when his dark princess had still been with him, tenderness had been a rare occurrence between their bed sheets. As much as the opportunity to make love to Buffy excited him, it also made him oddly petrified. It was going to be as much as a new experience for him as it would be for her.

Spike smiled as he leaned down a bit, gently pressing his lips to hers. Sweetly kissing her, his finger stroked the erogenous mark on her neck while the other hand skimmed over her breast, ghosting a caress over the erect nipple. He cupped the mound of flesh, delicately pinching and rubbing the pink bud until Buffy was moaning into his mouth. Spike turned his focus to the other overlooked breast, giving it the exact same treatment. Pulling away from her lips, he kissed along her jaw until he reached the shell of her ear where he traced the sensitive skin with his tongue. He could hear her heart hammering away in her chest and the scent of her arousal was so thick that he was nearly choking on it.

“You like that, pet?” he throatily asked as he continued to slowly work her into ecstasy.

Buffy nodded, panting loudly. “Y-yes,” she stuttered, the pleasure he was inducing being so intense that she was barely able to coherently respond to his question.

Spike smirked at her answer. His mouth moved to her neck, latching onto the marked skin, sucking and licking it as his hands massaged her oversensitive breasts. Before Buffy reached the climax that always arose from his oral manipulation of the bite marks on her neck, Spike pulled away, slowly sliding down her body. He waited until Buffy was a little more collected. When her breathing calmed slightly, Spike lowered his mouth, flicking his tongue across her nipple, which brought forth a noisy groan from Buffy’s lips. He continued to tend to her breasts, twirling his talented moist tongue slowly around the dusky areole. The noises she was making were driving him crazy, and the whimpers and coos weren’t helping with the angry erection that was pressing against her thigh. Yet Spike remained focused, determined that he’d do things right, to make it good and to make it last.

Buffy’s fingers ran through his short peroxide blonde curls, desperately needing an anchor to this world. She’d never felt this kind of pleasure before. All the other times she had been with Spike there had been undertones of guilt, disgust or confusion flying around her head. Her mind would reluctantly cave into the demands of her body, and at times unwillingly surrender to the carnal bliss that Spike could provoke within her. It was not the case now. Buffy wanted him, wholeheartedly and there were no more lingering doubts or fears to quell what she felt for him.

The licking gradually turned aggressive and Spike was soon sucking hard on her nipple, which sent bolts of electricity straight to her womb. “Spike….uh….ahhhhhh….” she whimpered, forgetting what she was about to say.

Releasing his mouth from her breast, Spike chuckled softly. “Yes, pet?” he teasingly replied.

“Don’t stop,” she pleaded, yanking his head back down to her chest.

Swiping his tongue lightly against the under curve of one breast, Spike nuzzled the smooth skin. “No worries, luv. Gonna take care of you. ‘m gonna make it feel so good,” he reassured as he slithered down her body.

He trailed open mouthed kisses down her sweat glistened stomach, intermittently darting out his tongue to taste the salty tang of her skin. Spike circled her navel with peppery kisses before dipping his tongue into it. Meanwhile, his skillful hands moved smoothly over her taut stomach, lowering them to her hips and thighs to stroke the sensitive, quivering skin he found there. Sliding completely off of her, Spike tenderly coaxed her legs apart, broadly smiling when she spread them eagerly, revealing to him the pink puffy lips of her juicy pussy. He was fully salivating as an overwhelming hunger took over him. The ever mounting urge to dive right in and eat her out like his unlife depended on it was getting harder and harder to suppress.

“Bend your knees a bit,” he instructed so that he could have better access to the savory peach at the apex of her thighs.

Buffy did as she was told, trembling with fevered expectation. She watched as Spike’s platinum head lowered and felt his lips graze the skin of her inner thighs, slowly making their way to her quim.

“Spike…” she began to beg, wishing he would just place his skillful mouth on her pussy. “I need you to…Oh my God!”

Wish granted.

Spike ran his tongue through her moistened folds, catching dollops of her heady dew on its tip. His hand skimmed up her thighs, taking his limber fingers to peel open the lips of her sex. Her engorged clit beckoned to him. Much like her nipples, he circled the nubbin and flicked it repeatedly with his tongue making Buffy arch further into his mouth.

“Ahhhh… unghhh…S-spike…don’t stop…uhhh…” she babbled, squirming uncontrollably.

“Taste so good, luv. Like bloody ambrosia,” Spike muttered as he surrounded his lips around her clit, sucking so intensely that Buffy started to see stars.

“Ahh…Spike…ahhhhhhh…” she unintelligibly cried, pulling at his hair, nearly ripping handfuls straight off from his head.

He detached his mouth from her clit, gliding his tongue down to her dripping entrance. Spike plunged his tongue into her sopping hole, twirling it around as he pulled it out. Buffy emitted a guttural mix between a growl and a moan, pushing her hips down on his face with every thrust of his tongue. After a few more strokes, he pulled the tongue out and replaced it with one, then quickly two nimble fingers. He pumped and stretched her with the digits as he returned to licking her clit. After a few short minutes he could feel her inner walls begin to quake. Turning his hand to that the palm was upright, the two fingers embedded within her delved in further, searching for the soft little spongy bundle of nerves. Finding her G-spot, Spike stroked it as he fiercely began to suck on her clit again.

Buffy felt as though she was on the verge of exploding. She couldn’t breathe and her heart was going a hundred miles a minute. As he continued to stimulate a spot within her that she had almost completely forgotten was there, Buffy’s orgasm was beginning to boil over. “Spike…Spike…I’m going to…Ahhhhh!!!!” she bellowed as she climaxed, her hips bucking, a wash of juices filling Spike’s awaiting mouth.

He kept flicking her G-spot as she rode out her first wave of pleasure, the treatment speedily triggering a second orgasm. She almost passed out from the immensely suffocating bliss that was ripping through her. When she finally came down from her delirium, Buffy could feel Spike lapping her pussy lips clean, which sent tiny aftershocks throughout her body. With one last lick, Spike lifted himself back up, hovering above her so that he could gaze down into her face. He smirked devilishly when he saw the sated kittenish look she was giving him.

Buffy reached up to kiss him, tasting herself on his lips. It was Spike’s turn to moan when her small warm hand wrapped around his silky cool shaft. Disengaging from the kiss, she guided his solid cock to her entrance. “I need you in me,” she stated as she waited for him to move.

Spike let out a ragged breath. He had put his own needs aside up until that point, his attention centered solely on her pleasure. Part of him wanted to fuck her brains out, to release all the pent up desire that had been building up within him. It was that part of him that made him afraid he was about to bollocks things up. Pushing those thoughts away, Spike slowly entered her, groaning as her scorching heat engulfed his throbbing member. He hissed when her smooth inner muscles contracted around him, squeezing him in just the right way.

“Christ, pet, you’re so fucking tight,” he said into the crook of her neck.

He moved slowly at first, drawing out every sensation as he reentered her hot molten core. Buffy met his every thrust, wrapping her legs around his waist to push him in deeper. Soon Spike was grunting noisily, his hips madly smashing into Buffy’s but he was still under enough control to remember her needs as he slipped a dexterous hand between their bodies to stroke her clit. Her pants soon echoed his grunts as they both approached the pinnacle of their coupling.

“Do it,” Buffy rasped urgently. “Please Spike. Just do it now!”

Not needing any clarification as to what she was specifically asking him to do, Spike vamped out and sunk his fangs into the tender flesh of her neck. Her warm spicy blood gushed into his mouth as he frantically pounded into her, letting the demon inside take full reign only for a moment, allowing it to make love to Buffy the only way it knew how. With one last strategically angled thrust, and simultaneous twist of her clit, Spike sent Buffy soaring into her third orgasm of the night.

“Spike!!!!!!” she screamed as the tremors rippled through her body.

With a few more thrusts, he quickly followed her over the edge, pulling his fangs from her neck, roaring deliriously as he spilled his cool dead seed into her.

“Buffy!!!!”

Once the convulsing stopped, he collapsed on top of her, completely spent. As his head cleared Spike rolled off of her, hoping he hadn’t accidentally crushed her. Concerned, he peered down into her face, relieved when she was smiling brightly up at him. Grinning back, he leaned down and kissed her sweetly.

"That was amazing,” Buffy mumbled against his lips.

“That’s ‘cos you’re amazin’, pet,” he explained as one of his hands idly glided over her stomach. He raised his head, his warm cerulean eyes meeting her bashful stare. “Never dreamed it could be this way. I love you so much, Buffy.”

His words made Buffy freeze with uncertainty. She knew how she felt about him and she knew that it was her cue to say the “L” word back. So why couldn’t she bring herself to say it? What was stopping her? What was she so afraid of? Sure she had trust issues when it came to her relationships with the opposite sex. She could thank her adulterous and absentee father for that. But Spike wasn’t like that and she knew it. ‘Damn it, Buffy,’ she internally scolded. ‘Tell him how you feel.’

She watched as Spike’s loving expression turned to one of dread, the fear that his love would still be unreciprocated evident in eyes. Buffy opened her mouth to speak, trying to force what she wanted to say into words.

“Spike, I…I…I”

The sound of her stomach rumbling interrupted her pretty sad attempt at telling him how she truly felt.

Sighing, Spike ignored the pain in his dead heart at Buffy’s inability to articulate her feelings, especially after everything they had been through. Shoving those insecurities aside, he concernedly inquired, “When was the last time you ate, luv?”

Somewhat relieved and guiltily thankful for the distraction, Buffy shrugged. “Sometime before you came back,” she dismissively answered.

Spike’s eyes widened, shocked by her confession. “And you still let me feed from you? How’s it you haven’t passed out yet?” he bewilderedly asked.

Buffy sheepishly shrugged again.

“Well that just won’t do,” he seriously remarked as he slipped out of bed. “We still have any of those chocolate biscuits you like so much?”

Buffy nodded as she pointed to the box filled with food that she kept by the mini-fridge. Spike kissed her forehead quickly before he sauntered over to the other side of the room, completely comfortable with his nudity. Buffy blushed when her eyes automatically shot straight to his tight perfect ass. Turning away as she pulled the bed sheet over her naked body, Buffy’s guilt resurfaced about being unable to tell Spike that she loved him. Remembering the brief flash of sadness that had crossed his face when she hadn’t said those three little words back made her hate herself all the more.

Spike returned with the carton of cookies he had promised. “Here you go, luv. A box of sweets for my sweet,” he chuckled at his corny joke.

Buffy couldn’t help but giggle at the lame compliment. Grabbing a cookie from the open box, she bit into it, slowly savoring the sugary goodness. She noticed Spike watching her as she ate the cookie, a goofy grin plastered on his face. Seeing the adoration in his eyes, Buffy felt even worse. She only hoped he understood that it wasn’t that she didn’t want to tell him. Even after all the nightmarish experiences she had survived through these past few months, Buffy was still the same insecure girl when it came to expressing her feelings. She had let him into her heart; she was just too afraid to let him know it.