*~*

Buffy didn’t know whether she felt relief or anger that there was no representation from Wolfram and Hart present scouring the beach. That would have been the first place she would have looked, even if she didn’t have Lorne’s premonition of her fighting on the beach in the back of her mind. She jogged over the dunes, her back aching under the weight of the fully loaded backpack that rested there. After ten minutes, she grew discouraged and turned to tell Davies that they should go the other way.

An En Kindle hovered just behind them, smiling and looking almost cherubic. Almost. Buffy narrowed her eyes, “Okay, Devil Pixie, where is he?”

It whispered something and when Buffy kept the blank expression on her face, the little fairy jerked its thumb behind it and Buffy nodded, understanding. She followed after it, Davies in hot pursuit. They ran over the ground that they had already covered and Buffy headed up a steep incline that led to a stretch of deserted coast that had become overgrown and filthy. Even from several yards away, Buffy could see Jameson standing in the middle of a circle, surrounded by a ring of En Kindle. They were holding hands, swaying back and forth.

Davies caught her as she started to descent the hill. “Look!”

She glanced behind them. A nasty looking creature was working its way toward them, sliding along the sand on its belly, fresh from the water. It had antennae and at least ten arms. It gnashed its teeth, causing the drooping jawls to send saliva flying in all directions. “What the hell is that?” Buffy asked.

“We better call for backup.”

“Did you bring a phone?”

“Shit.”

“Shit,” Buffy repeated, then screamed, “Look out!” as a small En Kindle flew toward them, drawing itself up in a position that Buffy had become all too familiar with. It exploded, but Buffy was already rolling down the hill, taking Davies with her.

“Jesus! What did we need a bomb for when they’re flying all around us?” Davies yelled, ducking his head as another En Kindle flew toward them.

Buffy kicked it when it perched near them and it erupted in mid air. Dropping onto one knee, she dug through her bag and said, “I’m gonna go take out the squid thing and you get the kid. They’re gonna be drawn to me so I’m gonna make sure they see me. Get Jameson and run back to Wolfram and Hart with him.”

“Consider it done.”

“They squat down before they pop. If one starts to do that the run the other way. I think it paralyzes them when it happens. They can’t *not* explode once it starts.”

“Buffy, maybe we should-”

She pulled the knife she was looking for from the bag, still thinking of Lorne’s warning, and said, “Don’t stop, no matter what happens. And don’t look back.”

He nodded and sprinted up the hill. Buffy ran the other way, intentionally making noise and waving her arms. The En Kindle swarmed up like bees from an overturned hive. Buffy batted two away and lunged at the demon, trying to keep the fairies in her sight long enough to stay safe. The squid-thing knocked her away with one of its long arms and she fell into an unceremonious heap, jumping back to her feet fast as an En Kindle reached for her arm.

It became apparent that the squid-thing was heading for Jameson, that he must have been an intended meal or offering from the En Kindle. Buffy glanced up in time to see Davies duck beneath one of the pixies and grab Jameson, who was howling, before she turned her full attention on the demon, who seemed to realize that his supper was being snatched away. It picked up the pace, which was still slow and langorous, and Buffy delivered a kick to its face that jarred her with the force of it. The squid-thing turned and gripped her with one of it’s long arms and attempted to bite her. She held its mouth away from her with her bare hands, then headbutted it in the nose. It reared back and Buffy lost her grip on its mouth long enough for it to sink its teeth into her arm. Luckily, it was the same arm that held the knife, which rammed into the roof of its mouth.

The demon dropped her and she rolled out of the way as it continued its trek across the sand. Davies was long gone, but losing sight of them had not deterred the demon. Buffy swung the knife, shoving it into the demon’s side which was no easy feat considering that its flesh was as thick as a tire and just as tough. Pulling the blade loose took all of her strength and when it finally pulled free, she toppled over backwards. An En Kindle landed right next to her, practically on top of her, and Buffy rolled as it pulled itself into its pose.

Gaining her footing, Buffy kicked the little fairy as hard as she could at her intended target and it exploded, taking the squid-thing with it when it did. An angry hissing filled her ears and she turned around in time to see the En Kindle rise again as an angry horde, then surprise her by flying the other way. Buffy, exhausted from the bike ride, and pouring blood from the bite, still gave chase. She didn’t have to wonder where they were heading. Grabbing her backpack, she followed.

She ran, full speed, covering several miles before she cut through the woods, following the hissing sounds and drew up short at the entrance to the cave. Wasting no time, she yanked off her pack and wired the bomb the way that Davies had instructed her. Carrying enough explosives in the palm of her hand to wipe out a small colony, she measured her footsteps carefully, holding a flashlight to guide her.

Moving slowly, she eased through the cave, feeling the jagged walls cutting against her flesh as the passage narrowed. She was feeling discouraged and more than a little worried that she wouldn’t be able to go all the way when there was a sudden clearing and she found herself standing on the lip of a cavernous hole that was quite full of fluttering fairies. In the middle of the chaos she saw a demon just like the one that had been on the beach. It was squid-like and judging by the way it was grasping the En Kindle who had been present on the beach in its many arms, banging their heads on the floor of the cave ... it wasn’t happy.

“The queen,” Buffy whispered. Giles had said that they spent much of their lives underwater. Maybe that was the mate she had killed on the beach. That would explain the anger at any rate.

Kneeling down, she set the charge and palmed the detonator. It would be enough to kill them all. It would level the cave and quite possibly feel like a mini earthquake in downtown Los Angeles. Easing back, she retraced her footsteps and began the journey back through the passageway. She picked up the pace as the mouth of the cave loomed in front of her, only to run headlong into onto one of the En Kindle.

It seized her, lifting her off the ground, using her hair as the handles. Buffy cried out, kicking frantically as it pulled her back toward the nest. She dug feet against the rocky walls, searching for purchase and used the hand that wasn’t holding the detonator to try to wrestle free. Gripping the fairy’s bony wrist, she twisted it, satisfied when it finally snapped, causing the fairy to drop her. Buffy slid down the wall, feeling it cut and tear at her skin, but she wasted no time giving into the pain. She ran, headlong for the entrance and leaped through it at the precise moment that she detonated the bomb.

It was the loudest sound she had ever heard and she thought that it was deafen her with the roar. She could feel debris raking over her skin, could feel her body being lifted and tossed about as if she were a rag doll, and finally, everything was still. The fight was done. Darkness came.

When she came to she found herself wedged between the branches of a tree, approximately fifty feet in the air. With a groan, she pushed against the limbs, easing herself up on the stronger of the two. Shaking her head, trying to see if she had any bearings left at all, she attempted to figure out what to do next. The cave was blazing, fire ripped through the sky, catching trees and grass on fire. She fanned her face, pushing away some of the smoke as she tried to focus. The trunk was a few feet away and she crawled to it, grunting as the branches dug into her flesh.

Climbing down wasn’t too difficult. The fire was bright enough that she could see, but hot enough that she felt the hairs on her arms singe. By the time she dropped to the ground, the tree was engulfed in flames and raining fiery leaves and wood upon her. She jogged out of the way, barely escaping being drummed into the ground by a hulking tree that landed just beside her. And so it went, jumping and dodging fiery, falling objects occupied her for the next fifteen minutes as she tried to figure out which way to go.

The steady scream of sirens eventually pulled her back in the direction of the road and she followed, feeling the urge to bend down and kiss the asphalt after the night she’d had. It was a double relief to have the beach finally loom ahead of her and she picked up the pace, seeing the top of Wolfram and Hart rising up above the skyscrapers. Focusing on one of the tiny squares of light, she imagined it was her apartment with Spike and he was there waiting for her.

It willed her to keep walking.

Even when her aching body begged her to stop.

*~*

Spike covered his ears as Jameson’s wails intensified. He snatched the boy from Davies and handed him off to Fred, who took the hint and disappeared into the elevator with the screeching child. When Spike turned back to Davies, his game face was on and he gripped the young man by the front of the shirt, slamming him back against the wall. “Where did she go after that?”

“I didn’t see!” Davies tried to shove the vampire away from him to no avail. He received another backbreaking blow against the wall for his efforts. “She told me to get the boy and not look back, Spike. I did what she asked.”

“Why would you leave her!?”

“Because-”

“Because she knew she was gonna die.” Lorne stepped forward, laying a hand on Spike’s shoulder. He had joined the search for Jameson, but his thoughts had been elsewhere. The shadow of death was heavy over the City of Angels tonight and he feared in his gut that he knew why. “What he just described to you is what I told her would happen.”

“You’re wrong.” Letting go, Spike stepped away from Davies and finally noticed the crowd. “Get away from here! What are you all staring at?”

The crowd dispersed and Spike turned his attention to Angel. “Get a group together. We’ll go search for her.”

“You won’t find her, sweets.” Lorne shook his head sadly and held his hands up. “I don’t write the rules, I just read them to the players. She knew.”

“You think I wouldn’t know if she was dead?” Spike shouted. “You think my soul wouldn’t be lying out there with her somewhere? That I wouldn’t know she was gone? You underestimate what we have! All of you do! Always have! It’s not lust, it’s not infatuation. I feel her in my very core. I feel her laughing, I feel her crying, and I feel her life burning brighter than my own life ever did. It’s still there!”

Angel ran his hand through his hair and turned to Wesley, clearly unsure of what to do. “Get the Shamans to perform a locator spell. See if they can track down something, anything.”

As Wesley departed, Spike looked at Angel and said, “She’s not dead.”

“Spike, the clean up team said she was nowhere to be found on the beach and the demon was blown to bits. If she was out there when it happened it could take weeks to get the DNA back to confirm that. You think this isn’t killing me?” Angel held his hands up, surrendering when Spike took a menacing step towards him. “Okay, fine! But I don’t know where to start looking.”

“She asked me about the cave tonight.” Davies interjected. “Do you think she went there?”

Angel mulled it over as he watched Spike pace across the room, leaning his blonde head against the wall before he punched it four times in rapid succession. Dawn rushed across the room, gathering the vampire in her arms when he turned, human face back in place, tears rolling down his cheeks. “Where is she?” Spike cried.

“I don’t know,” Dawn whispered, following him down as he collapsed on his knees in the floor. She put her hand over his, which was bleeding from pounding against the wall so hard. “But if there’s a way, Spike, she’ll be back. She will!”

Angel could feel tears burning the back of his eyes so he looked away, busying himself by picking up the phone, but he had no one to call. Laying the receiver back into place, he wiped at his eyes and turned again, ready to bark out an order to the nearest person. The command died in his throat however, when the revolving door at the front of the building sprang to life and Buffy emerged a second later, looking as close to death as he had ever seen her.

“Oh my god!” Angel shouted, rushing forward.

Buffy’s eyes had locked on Spike, however, sitting in the floor, being rocked back and forth by Dawn. There was blood on his hand. The exhaustion she felt was erased by fear and she found a last burst of strength to rush forward, dropping to her knees next to her lover. “Spike! Are you okay?”

He heard her through the ringing in his ears, saw her through the blind panic and reached for her through the heavy emotion that held him on the floor, crushing her against him. He could tell she was hurt, tell that her breathing was labored and his mind drummed up a million images of her almost leaving him, but he held her and it was enough. For a moment, it was all he needed. He smelled her hair, tasted her kiss, let his hands race over every inch of her before he was convinced that she was there, in the flesh. “Oh, Buffy.”

She was stunned when he burst into tears. Real tears. The kind of tears that she had shed for her mother, sitting in the foyer of her old house when she finally came to terms with the fact that Joyce was gone for good. It cut her to the quick. “I’m sorry, Spike. I’m so sorry.”

He pushed her away a little, studying her face. “What did you do?” he asked, ignoring the hitch in his voice as he touched a burn on her cheek, then a cut on her chin. “Buffy, what did you do?!”

“I came home. I told you I always would.” Buffy reached up, brushing the tears off his face, smiling at him. “You gotta learn to believe me.”

The smile on her face, the casual way she spoke to him, infuriated him. Easing away from her, he got to his feet, using the hand that Dawn offered as he did so. The ringing in his ears was back, this time from the raw, unfiltered, furor that coursed through his body. He stared at her, jaw tight, his cheekbones cutting sharp angles in his cheeks. She reached for him, expecting him to pull her to her feet, and it was his undoing. “I asked you for five days. You couldn’t even give me that so how in the hell am I supposed to believe anything else you say?”

“I know,” Buffy slowly got to her feet, dreading what was inevitably to come. “But I realized something and I-”

“I don’t give a damn what revelations you had!” Spike’s voice thundered off the walls, off the polished Egyptian floor. Everyone took a step back, even Buffy. “You did it again! Did you not learn a damn thing when you went after that demon alone last time?”

“I wasn’t alone! Lorne told me to not to go out alone so I took Davies with me! Ask him! He’ll tell you!”

“I can’t do this anymore!” Spike replied, his voice loud and clear. “Do you hear me? I’m done!”

Buffy caught his arm as he walked away from her. “Don’t!”

He yanked free. “No. You don’t!’

She watched him walk away, her heart feeling like it was somewhere under his feet, being trampled on. Angel stepped forward, wrapping his jacket around her, telling her something about the infirmary, but she didn’t hear. She let them lead her where they wanted her to go, but her heart stayed there on the floor, broken.

*~*~