full 3/4 1/2   skin light dark       
A/N: It's all Athenewolfe's fault. She was explaining a challenge that she wanted me to sign up for and unwittingly hit me over the head with a bunny.

Warnings: Rated R for adult themes and language. Warnings- Character death (tho no one we care about), lauguage, some sexual themes and a smidgeon of bloodplay.

Disclaimer: No dolls, squirrels or trees were harmed in the making of this drabble.

As always, I own nothing.

Hope you guys like. It's cheesey, silly and was a helluva lot of fun to write!


He was trapped in hell. That was the only excuse Angelus could come up with for the things- and he shuddered to think what exactly those things were- he had seen this night. Drusilla and her dancing dolls, wiggling their porcelain bodies across the dusty floor of the mansion’s long unused ballroom as the mad vampiress clapped and swayed to her own distorted humming.

It was the sight of those creepy little dolls; Miss Edith’s chilling, little girl giggle that had sent Angelus scurrying from his own home in search of the bitch descendant of the vengeful gypsies responsible for shoving that useless soul down his throat. Janna of the Calderash Clan- Jenny Calendar, mild mannered computer teacher of Sunnydale High School- was about to gain first hand knowledge of why her ancestors had feared and cursed the Aurelean Master Vampire.

Moonlight peeked through patchy clouds as Angelus cut across Weatherly Park on his way to rid his unlife of the troublesome techno-pagan cum computer teacher. A frightening smile alighted his distorted vampiric features and he began to whistle a jaunty tune as he all but skipped merrily upon his path.

Without warning, the smile faded and his step slowed as his vampire eyes and ears caught both movement and sound from a nearby copse of trees. On swift, silent feet, Angelus crept to the edge of those trees, his eyes bearing witness to sight that had the vampire rooted to his spot.

There, in a small clearing, lay his idiot grandchilde. Straddling him, her head thrown back as she bounced and writhed on the blond vampire's cock, was the goddamn Slayer. And the sounds spilling from the wanton creature's mouth...She had never made those sounds for Angelus' soulful alter ego!

Rage boiled up in the dark-haired male's veins, and he pounced at the couple with a mighty roar of fury...

Or, tried to, anyway. To Angelus' horror, he found himself unable to move or speak. Instead, he was left to take in the presence of a black-eyed Jenny Calendar as she stepped from the surrounding shadows. The smile that curved her lips was terrifying in its own right.

"Hello, Angelus," she greeted him in a soft, conversational tone as she drew nearer to his arrested form. "I see you got my invitation. So good of you to join us."

Us? Angelus thought with a nervous glance at his surroundings. The gypsy giggled lightly and waved her hand towards the ground to indicate several woodland creatures. "Have you ever watched a squirrel as it went about its daily search for food? The way they eat? Takes a lot of pressure and some wicked sharp teeth to crack the shells of some nuts." Her eyes flickered down meaningfully in the direction of the vampire's leather covered crotch. "Others, those pointed teeth just slice right on through."

The techo-pagan grinned again and whispered a few words in her native Romanian tongue. The squirrels began to grow, pointed teeth elongated, a bit of foam formed at the corners of their furry mouths. "Say hello to my little friends, Angelus."

Not bothering to stick around, Janna, faithful daughter of the Calderash Clan, turned and strolled back the way she'd come.

In the clearing, an ear-splitting shriek of pleasure announced yet another in what seemed an endless procession of orgasms. Even as she slumped in satiated exhaustion against a pale, muscular chest and languished in the feel of Spike's arms around her, Buffy gave the blond vampire a slight frown. "Did you hear something?"


Spike retracted his fangs from the Slayer's delectable throat, his long, talented tongue swiping across his lips to gather any stray drops of the delicious ambrosia he'd supped on more than once tonight. He smiled at the young warrior-woman he was rapidly falling in love with. "Not a thing, luv. Not a thing."