Chapter Four


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"Good, you're awake." Willow said and smiled crookedly. She had a childish goofy smile that spread easily among her friends. She had one arm around Tara, her lover and the other was holding a chipped coffee cup. Buffy saw no one else sitting in the dining room, munching on breakfast.

"Why was I in the vampire compartment?"

"Oh, Xander found you exhausted from your day of running around chasing down vamps and beating them up," the red haired witch replied. "He knew that you would want to keep an eye on them in case anything went wrong." Buffy raised an eyebrow.

"You thought it would be good if I slept two feet from the vampires who tried to kill me earlier, and who I harshly punished afterwards with very sharp objects?"

"We have been checking on you every few minutes!" Tara spluttered, "And they have been sleeping like babies."

"Hmmm. I don't understand your logic, yet I strangely cannot do anything about it." Buffy picked up a biscuit. "Where are we going?"

"Anya is with Xander, fixing the Chaos Demon's cage and we are heading South west. We got some supplies in Los Angeles."
"Giles had said something about new cages." Willow's smile grew goofier, "Is that because of a certain persuasive discussion with Ben or is he a mind reader?"

"I don't know, is he?"

"No, but I think he is sweet on a blond."

"Spike will break his neck before he breaks his heart."

"Well, this blond is natural and alive." The red head grinned.

"He really likes you," Tara said with a shy smile. Buffy just groaned silently.

"Does anyone care what I think? I am not even fond of him and the last thing I need or want a relationship."

"Who said anything about a relationship?" Willow playfully acted as if she were shocked. "He is rich and nice and willing to spend thousands of dollars so that you could have separate cages for your pets. Just say yes to the nice man and take his presents."

"That's the same logic that drug addicts use. But if I do take the nice man's gifts, there is a large chance that he will think that I like him, which would be totally not true."

"Don't worry about him liking you. The moment he gets to know the real side he will break it off, and by then you would have robbed him blind."

A biscuit bounced off of her forehead and landed on Tara's plate of scrambled eggs. The girlfriends giggled while Buffy glowered at the two.

"I think I could become a lesbian. Do they have a spell for that?"

"I think not." Willow giggled, "And it would be a waste anyways. We're both the best, the only ones around, and taken."

"Oh well, in that case, I think I'm going to turn into a monk." They all laughed at the prospect, "A monk with a stake, who slaps vampires around as her religious calling."

Giles entered the cabin, to find all his youths sitting in a single cabin smiling over breakfast. Although he felt melancholy about breaking up the joyous laughter, he nodded his head and felt that it was inevitable. Buffy needed to know what she was doing.

He cleared his voice, and everyone turned towards him.

"I'm glad to see you're up." He said and smiled. Buffy didn't see that his upturned lips quivered slightly, showing that his happiness was a façade. She only grinned back.

"Well, I didn't die, so I figure everything's good."

"I would actually like to talk to you about that. Would you mind having a word with me?" It was at that moment, that Buffy saw the truth of his visage. She put on a serious face, while everyone kept on giggling.

They walked into the next compartment, where the human boys slept. It was overflowing with piles of clothing in one corner and video games in another. There was an invisible line where the two sides collided into a single mass of games and clothes, but Giles kicked the pile away and then went into his private apartment. As ring master, director, and the only person who had directly contacted D'Hoffryn, the creator and main benefactor of their organization, he had the respect of all, and was feared by many.

But Buffy didn't fear him because he had seen her potential and understood her calling. When he arrived into Sunnydale California, searching for monsters to showcase, he found a monster killer instead. She and a handful of friends single-handedly fought against the evil that consumed their town. With his help, she defeated the legendary vampire Master. Giles did not have a hard time convincing her to come with him; at nineteen the world is still mysterious and young. Her mother stayed to help the town's reconstruction and the raising of her youngest daughter, while Buffy left with her gang of misfits. Buffy did not proclaim her loyalty to him with undying words, though she could have. Instead, she smiled and asked for a two month advancement to give to her mother as a parting gift.

And Buffy held that same honesty now, as she sat down on a pile of priceless books and looked up into her mentor's eyes, and asked,

"Are you pissed?"

Giles chuckled and then pointed to his chair. She sat where he pointed. Giles folded his arms and leaned against the desk after moving his books from reach.

"Time will tell." He took off his glasses and started to clean them, "I am worried that you do not release the severity of the situation that I witnessed during your performance yesterday. Did you take Benzedrine before your encounter with Darla?"

"How did you notice?" She sighed.

"Why did you do it?" He started polishing his lenses with a newfound fervor.

"You do know that I fought with Drusilla, and I couldn't go on without it..."

"Then you should have told me. I would have put Willow and Tara out there. They could have handled themselves."

Buffy shrugged.

"It was easier to take the Bennies." Giles slammed his hand down upon the desk. She flinched at his tone of voice, never at his violence.

"Damn it, you aren't the only one in the show. You cannot expect for Willow and Tara to clean up after your mess, while you traipse around and put your own life in danger. You should have told me what happened, and admit that you are not invincible."

"Giles, you know as well as I that it's all about the performance and when it comes down to it, I am the main attraction." Buffy remarked in a low tone. "Others can handle the vampires, but what if Willow looses control? Or Tara runs out of magic? Who will stop them?"

"If that happened, you would have died, in the middle of the cage, in front of an entire crowd of people."

"Then they would know the truth about demons." Buffy spat. "That they are killers."

"What are you saying?" Giles asked in a soft voice, pushing her to tell the truth.

"We are lying to everyone in the crowd. I crack a whip, and throw treats at them, and you tell a story about how I am the only girl in the world who can control them. And while people oooh and ahhhh in the stands, to see what I can do, they know NOTHING of the true vampires I battled, the vampires I feed whenever I go out on stage." Her voice cracked, "You trained me to kill the Master, and we conquered the last demons in my town. But why haven't we killed these yet?"

"Because we teach humans about the monsters that live on this earth."

"No, we save the demons until they escape."

"Buffy... Just believe that you cannot let anything kill them. No matter what." Giles began, but then bit his tongue. He could not say it for sake of ruining the entire threads of this universe. His frustration faded when he glanced at her sullen look which was familiar in every world. Giles fought his smile, caused by her bottom pouting lip.

"I tried to talk to you after you saw Ben, but you disappeared."

"I had to... uh... punish someone." Buffy remarked in a softer tone, slightly taken back by the change of subject.

"I take it that you did it sufficiently?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Giles, sometimes we don't agree. But why do you object so much when you know I can take care of myself?" She breathed.

"Because you forget how valuable you are. You were careless and went into the cage, depending on Willow and Tara to protect you against the vampires. Your thoughtlessness has always been attributed to your very rare use of Benzedrine. Dependency on narcotics will lead to a powerful addiction and I want you to be truly independent of everything evil. It was stupid Buffy, very stupid."

"And you're not just saying that because it'll screw up my mind."

"No. You should stay away from drugs that affect your nervous system. There are some things that no one should know." Buffy cocked her head at his tone, but then forgot the strangeness of it once he placed his glasses on top of his nose.

"Now, I don't need to lecture you on the safety when it comes to Drusilla's cage, or how she got out, because it is not important. But do tell me what happened from the moment you found her."

"I ran out to the middle of the Circus to find her, but I couldn't find her. So I tried to meditate but there were too many people around. And then she attacked me. I threw her into the sewer and I shot her with the closest tranquilizer I had."

"What drug was it?" He asked quickly.

"Adremimine." She replied. "It made her talk about freedom, and lying..."

"Anything else?" Giles had taken his glasses off and started polishing them again. Buffy had relaxed and wilted into his large leather chair.

"Yes. There was a moment when she was talking about how my lover died because I gave him a necklace and how I am not actually supposed to be here." A smile quirked at the edge of her mouth and she shook her head. "Crazy vampires, always good for a laugh."

"Was that all she said?" There was a note of strain in his voice.

"Yeah." Buffy then looked at him strangely, "Why, is there anything that I should be looking for?"

"No. Just tell me if there's anything unusual. But I will look into the idea of a necklace. That, out of anything else seems to be our biggest clue." He looked at her, "You do know that Adremimine is a hallucinogen."

"No, I didn't. But then again, Drusilla isn't exactly on the same page." She stated, worried about the look on his face. She didn't want there to be any tension between the two, so she steered the conversation to safer grounds. "Giles, are we really going to Los Angeles?"

"We are going to Los Angeles," Giles said with a jaunty manner. "And I thought that we might pay a visit to Sunnydale, since we would pass it on our way there. You could spend a few days with your mother." Argument be forgotten, Buffy was glowing with happiness.

"Giles! You mean it? I haven't seen her—"

"I know, you haven't seen her in about four years. I didn't think that our traveling would take so long, but that's what happens when you go to the other side of the country. It should be good to see how things are. From there, we will take a long trek to Carson City. That's our destination."

"Carson City? But... out of all the towns in the world, why would we ever want to stop there? We won't get any crowds because it's so conservative."

"D'Hoffryn wants to look at some supplies we are carrying. And then from there, I think we can go to Sacramento. You should see the city, not only is it beautiful, but there is an underground bookstore that we should visit. It'll be dangerous, but I would love to get some more information on Polgara demons and maybe keep an eye on Drusilla's visions."

"That sounds like fun, and you know I'm into anything dangerous." She stood up from her chair and stretched for a moment. "I have to check on the demons. I'll see you for lunch?"

"More like dinner. It's two right now."

"Half the day's already gone." She grumbled, then spun around and smiled at Giles. The prospect of going home made her giddier with every closer mile. "I now really have to go. Dinner at six!"

Giles watched her go, before he picked a book from the pile he had just put away. He flipped to the second marking on the page, to a necklace with beautiful metal gilding around the edges, and a colorful stone in the center. With a painful furrow in his brow, he gently touched the edges of the picture.

Giles took off his glasses, and started to rub them clean again.