**********
15



"Who were you talking to?" Giles yelled as he threatened to push the button on the control.

"Riley. He came in here looking for Buffy, and I sent him over to Spikes' tent. That's where they all are right now."

"Oh. Well, I'll go see what they are doing." Willow was slightly confused by his quick answer.

"Um. Yes, go ahead." Giles nodded. "The rest of us will go back."

Willow was barely out of the curtain tent before everyone heard the gunshot.


* * *

She ran as fast as she could to Spike's tent. Riley was standing over the cage, the two bodies entangled in one another. Willow watched Riley drop the gun.

"Oh my god!" the red head screamed, and pressed her hand against the sensory lock. It took a lifetime before her prints were confirmed and the door opened. She yanked the door aside with a noisy screech and bent over Spike. He was on his knees.

"Get away from her!" She yelled, and magically propelled him against the cage door. His pants were hanging off his hips and he half conscious. Bullet or sex...

Buffy wasn't conscious. The bullet had gone through Spike's shoulder and hit the soft part above her ribcage but below her collar bone. The bullet had gone through that too. Willow procured a sheet from the table and wrapped it around her body. The witch rubbed her arm, trying to get her to wake up. She had a pulse, and that was good.

"What happened?" Spike asked as he stirred from his wall.

"Do not talk." Willow said in a low voice, "You will tell me exactly what happened."

"No, I bloody hell won't." He looked at Riley, "Did you hurt her?"

"I... I..." Riley sputtered, "I don't know what's going on! I just. I..." He looked at Spike. "Oh my god, you fucked her!"

"You RAPED her?" Willow screamed and flew towards Spike. He had no energy to defend himself as she slapped him across the face. Scratches from her nails left their marks.

"No," Riley whispered and the red head froze. "I heard it. She didn't resist... I think... she asked him to do it. She asked him to bite her!"

"Oh my god." Willow said, her face contorting in utter disgust, "oh my god!"

"What happened?" Xander wheezed, "Why is evil undead shirtless? And...Buffy!"

"She fucked him!" Riley said wildly, "I mean, she wanted him to do it! What is she? What has she done?"

"Why is she lying there?" Giles responded by kneeling by her side, "Anya, get me some water!"

"There has to be another explanation," Tara said in nothing but a whisper, "why would she do this?"

"I am going to be sick!" Xander whimpered. "I can't look at her."

Giles watched her blond eyelashes flutter and her fingers stir. He held up his hand to motion for silence.

"Look, she's coming awake. Now, listen to me. You will stand back, as Buffy explains what happened."

"Don't ask the girl," Spike said, for the first time. Everyone whipped their heads around in shock to hear his voice. "She's been through enough. I'll tell you everything jus—"

Giles turned to him and with the softest voice Spike had ever heard, he whispered, "If you say one more thing. I will order everyone away from this room and peel your skin off. Do you hear me? Shut up. You're nothing but a bloody monster who needs to keep out of things that don't concern him!"

Spike shivered. Buffy woke.

"Oh my god." She said as she saw everyone around her, tears began to run down her cheeks. "Oh no. Oh no!" She buried her face in her hands and curled up as tight as she could. Her wrists covered her neck so that no one could see her bites.

Riley had seen the bite, but he didn't think it was a shock. The vampire was a vampire, and would bite whenever the chance presented itself. However, Buffy... that was a different issue. She was a goddess, the most beautiful woman he had ever loved. Why would she let an abomination touch her when she had him? Had she touched the other vampire in the same way? Riley shook with anger but Giles held him back. The older man bent down to look her in the eyes.

"Now Buffy, I know this is difficult, but I want to know if you had any Benzedrine tonight."

"What?" The blond looked up at all the faces peering down upon her, "Yes. But..."

"That's all I need to know." He looked around, "That's all anyone needs to know. She was hallucinating and Spike took advantage."

"But, Giles. I've been having visions—"

"No Buffy. I will not hear it. You are drugged. Your body lied to you. And Spike convinced you to open the cage. Then he raped you. This is the reason. Willow, you take her back to her bunk. Everyone else, leave. I don't want a word of this spread to anyone, you hear. Riley, you come with me."

"What will happen to it?"

"The demon?" Giles turned around to face Spike.

He had disappeared.


************
Dream:

Spike was leaning against the wall looking away from her. Cool as usual in his black leather, he smoothed his hair back and searched his pockets for a light. The calm left Buffy's original "good idea" and the nervousness proceeded to eat away her insides. She walked over to his side and smiled weakly.

He turned to her and said hello with a tiny grin.

"Hey," she smiled back a half smile.

"It's a happy occasion." A beat then the dig came, "You meet my friend?"

He was cocky, with an I-don't-give-a-damn attitude. She understood and it made her smile.

"No. Not yet. But she seems like a very nice attempt at making me jealous." He smiled slightly, knowing that he couldn't lie his way out of this one. After everything, they knew each other too well. Especially when they felt the same way.

"Is it working?"

It broke her heart that he was honest. If he could lie or pretend to be a victim... it would be easier to hate him. But he was honest and it made her honest too.

"A little. It doesn't change anything ... but if you're wildly curious, yeah, it hurts."

"I'm sorry." He whispers, then remembers it's not apart of his nature to be guilty. An awkward change then a stumbling, "Good!"

This makes her smile again.

Spike sighs and then shakes his head at the ridiculousness. He didn't understand himself anymore, his desire to be good while his nature prevented him. Then in a moment when he should be wreaking havoc and gaining his justice, he cannot help but feel guilty.

"You want us to go?" So his game worked, but he didn't gain any pleasure because they were civil and honest. And over.

"No. No, I ... you have every right to be here. I pretty much deserve-"

"That's not true, you... "

He looked up at the ceiling and cursed the gods for putting him in this position. Fucking, killing and feeding were the only things he was good at. A full list of things lead to what he couldn't do and what he avoided. Talking being at the top.

"God, this is hard."

"Yeah." They were in the same boat, they shared pain together. It was a theme. Spike sighed, because they were always causing one another pain when they were together and in pain when they were separated. The pain was constant. Always.

"I think we'll go."

"Go where? To your place?" Curiosity took over pride. Pride had run away with Momentary Satisfaction and they were having a picnic together. But Spike didn't look as pleased about his choice of rebound.

"Yeah, I suppose. That was the idea."

"Yeah."

"Evil." Buffy smiled because somewhere, she didn't think he was.

"Of course."

"But I won't. Or I... l" The problem was, he should feel it, but the prospect of hurting Buffy took any joy out of screwing his rebound and knowing that she would know. The game was hard, messy. And he just wanted to feel evil or good. Instead of wanting something more. "I'll just go. Give 'em my best or whatever. The happy couple."

"I will."

Spike looked at her and in a fraction of a second; he said what he had wanted to say all night.

"It's nice to watch you be happy. For them, even. I don't see it a lot." What do they say? Oh right. "You, uh... you glow."

Spike knew it was the wrong thing to say. And Buffy smiled because she knew what he meant.

"That's because the dress is radioactive." Spike snorted at the statement, thankfully she took the awkwardness and turned it into something they could both share. Like the pain.

"I should..."

"Yeah."

Buffy starts to walk away, as Spike lingers behind, left with one thought. Because despite the amusement and the appearance, he wanted to make sure that she felt the same way. Empathy.

"But it hurts?

She stops and turned back.

"Yeah."

"Thanks." He said quietly, then leaves first as Buffy watches him go.

"You're welcome."


***********


Spike shivered at the dream, he must have dozed off for a second. His movement caused tiny ripples in puddle of sewage. The stench of underground, liquid trash was unbearable; however, it was better than anything up there. He had taken another sheet and run out as quickly as he possibly could before they could catch him.

He knew something was wrong.

Right now, it was a waiting game until nightfall. And the moment the sun set, he was going to get Buffy and find out what the hell is going on.


**********


Buffy woke up from the dream, and shivered. Her hand caught a hold of Jonathon's get well present, the book she had sent him out for. He appeared after the show, when he heard that she had gotten shot. He had mumbled about how people leave guns around for vampires to shoot, but Buffy wasn't concentrating on the lies. She had just smiled and said thank you.

It was beneath her hand now, but it seemed so different. This action was sweet and kind, but she couldn't read it. She couldn't care about her stupid theories. Not when all her friends were looking at her like that. The guilt resurfaced and she buried herself back in her pillow. Their looks of disgust and arrogance suffocated her. How could they be so judgmental? But it wasn't really them she was mad at; it was her own stupidity that got her into this problem.

Spike.

The dreams.

And the sudden flaring attraction from the dreams onto Spike. The vampire.

How could she do this? He's evil! And she's a fricking human! And Riley, oh. She groaned. Walking in on them. Buffy didn't know how she could ever get this low.

And then the door busted open and it was the exact person she didn't want to see.

"Get OUT!" She screamed.

"Buffy, listen—"

"I will NOT!"

"Something isn't right, you are coming with me."

"NO! I am not!"

Spike rushed to grab her arm. She scrambled away from him. She couldn't look at him. Her body was shaking as he came closer to her. Buffy felt powerless and she wildly looked back and forth looking for a place where she could run away. Her agitation started to become violent as he leaned closer. She tried pushing him away, to punch him. But in her frantic state, she became sloppy. Self doubt and fear washed over her. But he was there, standing near her bed, looming over her.

Spike watched her reaction. He felt no pity as he came closer to her. The need for answers was too great for one great warrior to break down into a little girl. He knew her reaction, he had seen it in his victims before. And he ignored it, like he had done so many other times.

"Don't touch me! Don't!" There were tears breaking from her eyes, "Please don't."

"I know we screwed up. But Angelus knows something. We are going to see him and he will tell us what we are going to do."

"I'm not going anywhere with—" Spike put his hand over her mouth.

"Do you want to clear your name or go on with this guilt? I know it's bad. But you are thinking like a person. A brainwashed person who does whatever anyone tells them to. Think with your brain. Shit, if you think like a Slayer, we will find out why we are getting visions. Why I bloody keep thinking about you. And why you allowed me to even touch you tonight." He lowered his hand, "You're not a woman, you're not a victim, you're the Slayer. Fucking act like it."

Buffy took a deep breath and waited for her heart to stop beating.

"I'll grab the book." Spike said softly, "You grab the pain killers. We need to leave now."

Buffy couldn't believe what she was going to do.


******************