Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belonging to the show are not our creations. We take no actual credit, and at least one of us is definitely broke.

Author's notes: We're all one another's betas, so we only have ourselves to thank :P Story inspired by our legendary excursion to the Museum of Sex.
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Pokhara, Nepal

The caves at the base of the Dhaulagiri swarmed with groups of black-clad military men. Demons hissed and paced in cages built into the south wall. Very few lights were used, so as not to draw attention from the city.

Three figures were crouched at the cave’s entrance. They had their personal flashlights pointed at the map on the ground between them.

“The Mhalorek demons seem to flock to sub-tropical areas annually,” said the single female soldier crouched between the two men. “They’ll be laying their spawn in Phewe Lake.” She pointed to the map. “We’ll be destroying two of the ones we’ve captured already; we’ll only need one for our purposes. We’ll release it back into the wild and track it. It should lead us to the most populated areas.”

“There’s another problem, now,” a smaller built, dark skinned man pointed to another mountain. “We’ve got confirmed reports of a large nest of vampires that’s moved onto Annapurna. They’re staying mostly on the mountain, but thirty deaths have already been reported in Pokhara, and they haven’t even been there a full week. Their numbers are probably already growing, so we may have to split our task force in half and take care of both threats.”

“Negative.” The taller, dusky-haired soldier studied the map with a severe frown. “We don’t have a large enough force as it is, we can’t afford the split. We’ll wait until day break and take out the vampires first, or at least as many as we can.”

The dark haired woman frowned. “Riley, the Mhalorek-“

“-Wont be swarming for another day, and won’t be feeding until their young hatch. I know they’re the greater threat, Sam, but they’re the threat we have more time to prepare for.”

A third man appeared from the deeper reaches of the cave. His hair and beard were speckled with gray, his uniform crisp and his jaw clenched with tension. The moment he was noticed, the conversation at the mouth of the cave ceased.

He stopped and peered down at the three. His eyes finally came to rest on Riley, before he tossed a small stack of papers down on top of the map.

Raising an eyebrow, Sam Finn picked up the stack of papers and thumbed through them.

“Something wrong, Commander?” Riley asked.

“Our last targeted Suvolte demon was captured. We’re lucky we had it tagged. It’s just been illegally transported to Sunnydale, California.” He smiled grimly. “It seems ‘The Doctor’ is back in business, Finn. I could have sworn you were told to take care of it.”

Riley swallowed, looking pale. “I thought I had, Sir.”

“Well, there should be no ‘thought’ about it. Pack your bags. You’ll be back in Sunnydale within the next forty-eight hours.” The Commander turned on his heel, heading further into the cave before an objection could be voiced.

Sam sighed as she tossed the papers onto her husband’s lap. “So, I guess we pay another visit to your friends.”

Riley shook his head. “There’s no ‘we’ in this. Not this time, Sam.”

The third member of the team stood, nodding to his two companions before heading deeper into the cave. “I’ll just be…” He pointed, before excusing himself with another nod.

Mrs. Finn kept her expression blank, folding the map. “We’re a team, Ri. We’ve been a team for a long time, now. What makes you think that changes? Because you have a personal grudge with this ‘Doctor’ character?”

“It’s not that,” Riley insisted. “We’re just too low on resources here as it is. The men here need you. I wouldn’t trust this assignment to anyone BUT you, Sam. I’m just going back to take care of a chipped vampire. If the Commander knew what the threat actually was, he wouldn’t even be sending me.”

Sam sighed, leaning closer to him. “So why don’t you tell him?”

Wrapping an arm around her, he kissed her forehead. “Spike’s been a menace all along. This is just a reminder of what I should have taken care of a long time ago. Buffy has…a personal connection to him. She’s not going to do it herself. Someone has to do it, but that doesn’t mean we should both be taken away from a mission as important as this one.”

Sam sighed and laid her head on his shoulder. “You’re probably right…we should mark this day down, that’s a rare occurrence.” She smiled, and took one of his hands. “Make sure you get me something, on this little vacation of yours…”

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The red Camaro sped down the near-empty highway at ninety miles an hour. The sky was beginning to redden with the approaching dawn.

“This is so not cool.” She rolled up the window and pushed her long blond hair away from her face. “If I go any faster I’ll be pulled over for sure! But Sunnydale’s still thirty miles away…” she whined petulantly.

Sighing, she looked into the rearview mirror. A woman with long red hair was slumped in the back seat, her green dressed stained with blood that had run down from her throat wound. Her eyes were glassy and unfocused.

Reaching behind her, Harmony fumbled for the woman’s purse. Once she found it, she took the cell phone that she knew she would find inside.

The blond vampire looked down at the pink Razor cell phone in her hand, before turning to the passenger beside her.

A balding man in a grey suit stared at her. He was dangerously pale, bleeding from his own neck wound, but still annoyingly alive.

“Do you mind if I borrow this?” Harmony held up the phone for him to see.

The man let out a little moan, his brown eyes rolling to white as he slumped closer to the window.

Harmony shook her head. “Ulgh…That is just so…rude.”

She flipped open the phone and groaned at the time that she saw illuminated on the small screen. “This is so stupid…I knew I should have waited for nightfall.” She closed the cell phone and tossed it onto her passenger’s lap. “I just didn’t want to be there another second, you know?”

She sighed and pressed the gas pedal down harder, deciding to risk the cops.

“This so sucks…” Tears began to fill her eyes. “And I’m so pathetic! I mean…humans go to L.A. and make it fine all the time, right? But there I am, vampire, creature of the night…and I can’t even hold a steady job! I mean…it’s not my fault that my hours are so weird, or…or that I occasionally have to eat another employee or whatever…” She slammed a hand down on the steering wheel, creating a dent. “I mean, who could blame me?” She turned to her balding passenger. “Could you blame me?”

He opened his blood-shot eyes and glared back at her.

“And who can I go to, anyway?” she ranted on. “I mean, I’ve pretty much given up on L.A…but back home, I don’t think there’s anyone I could stay with, and I so couldn’t handle being out on my own in some crypt around neighbors I don’t even know…What am I going to do? I mean, I could call my parents and just take over their house for a while…but I’m not a fledgling! I mean…I’m a couple years old now, you know? I can’t just go live with mom and dad; I’d be a laughing stock for vampires all over Sunnydale!”

Another thought crossed her mind, one which included a certain well-built, bleached-blond vampire. She groaned and knocked her forehead against the steering wheel once, before returning her gaze back to the road.

She remembered the way they’d parted, how she’d wounded him and made that awesome uplifting and self-empowered speech about how he would never have a piece of her again…

Harmony turned pleading eyes towards the bleeding man beside her. “Hey.” She nudged him until she had his attention again. “If your girlfriend shot you in the back with a crossbow, you’d take her back if she said sorry and promised lots of good sex, right?”


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“Oh my god, you’re back!” Fred gave a small hop in her excitement, before wrapping her arms around her friend in a tight hug. “You’ve gotta tell me everything! Where’d you go? Did you and Groo…?”

Cordelia gave the smaller girl and awkward pat on the back, trying to keep hold of what few bags her shadow had let her carry. The Groosalugg, or Big Lug as she had begun thinking of him, appeared to be carrying enough bags to topple a small demon. His sandy hair was cut short, and he was dressed in simple blue jeans and a navy shirt. The only thing that kept him from being normal was his eerie black eyes and the note of chivalry that rung through his otherwise dense grin.

“Fred…could you…maybe?” Cordelia attempted to wiggle free.

“Oh, gosh, sorry!” The small Texan immediately stood back with a sheepish grin, pushing her glasses further up her nose.

The taller woman sighed and smiled, before placing her bags down just inside the door of the Hyperion.

“Cordy…”

Angel appeared from the back office, a sleeping infant in his arms. The tall vampire was hesitant in approaching her.

Grinning brightly, the brunette rushed from the door and towards the two. She noticed the small smile that appeared on Angel’s face at the sight of her excitement.

Suddenly, a sharp pain laced through Cordelia’s head. She cried out in surprise and stumbled, falling before reaching the storybook reunion she had been longing for.

“Cordelia!”

She could vaguely make out her friends rushing to her aid. Their voices were drowned out as more pain hit her, creating mostly white-noise. “Oh, come on…” she complained. “I just got home!” The vision washed over her, stronger and more vivid than she had experienced before.

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Cordelia groaned as she began to return to consciousness. Her head throbbed, and she placed her fingers against her temples to try and ease the pressure. “Great way to end a vacation.”

Daring to open her eyes, she found herself on a bed in one of the many spare rooms. There was also a dark-haired vampire sitting beside her, waiting patiently for her return.

She smiled, despite the situation. “Hey.”

Angel took her hand, gently brushing the back of it with his fingertips. “Hey. I was going to ask you how your trip went, but…”

Memories of more than the pain caused by the vision assaulted the seer. She breathed in sharply and closed her eyes as she forced herself to replay the images sent to her by the Powers That Be.

“Cordy?” The vampire squeezed her hand softly. “You haven’t had one this bad in a long time…”

“It’s Buffy.”

He stiffened, his expression hardening. “What?”

“No, not just Buffy.” Cordelia shook her head. “All of Sunnydale…Xander, Willow, even…” she frowned. “Spike. Spike was there. And he was…” She grimaced. “He was…*doing things* to Buffy…and there were…demons, and a werewolf, and witches and blood, and…and a pony? Anyway, things that were…I mean, it was…it was total chaos…”

Angel released her hand and slowly stood, his mouth set in a grim line. “Sounds like they need our help.”

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Every member and friend of Angel Investigations crowded the lobby. Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Lorne and the Groosalugg all brought their attention to the vampire making his way down the stairs with determined strides.

“Pack your bags, all of you,” Angel said. “We’re headed for Sunnydale.”

Gunn frowned. “Where?”

Wesley sat straighter, rubbing his days-old stubble. “The Hellmouth? Why would the powers send us there when it has its own guardians?”

“They need our help.” Angel yanked open the weapons cabinet. “*Buffy* needs our help. I’ve at least gotten a heads-up this time. I’m not going to let anything happen to her again.”

Gunn raised a quizzical eyebrow. “So, Angel’s ex is in trouble - we’re all takin’ a road trip, now?”

“But, what about Connor?” Fred nodded towards the baby in Lorne’s arms. “We shouldn’t be bringing him to a Hellmouth, right?”

“Good thinking.” Wesley’s eyes widened as he looked from Connor to Angel. “I should stay behind. I could keep an eye on Connor while –“

“No deal, Wes.” Angel slammed a pile of weapons onto the counter, creating enough racket to wake the infant in the green demon’s arms. “I’ll need everyone on this.”

“Everyone?” Lorne cast a skeptical glance at their leader.

“Everyone,” The vampire repeated firmly. “And prepare yourselves.” He turned to face the others, shifting his gaze to each one for a long moment, before once more addressing the entire group. “This could very well be the greatest disaster we’ve ever faced.”

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The doorbell rang for the third time, making several of the guests jump, or stare in glum agitation. Still, none rose to answer it until the carpenter made his way out of the bedroom. He’d been searching for the cufflinks that had been missing for the past half hour.

Opening the door, Xander took in the sight of the middle-aged former Watcher with relief.

“Giles! G-man!” he greeted him with a wide grin. “I can’t believe you made it back for the wedding!”

“Don’t be silly, Xander,” Giles replied. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”