I've been posting this at the Spuffy Haven, as a challenge response. I was going to post at the BSV when it was complete, but I'm getting a bit stuck and I'm hoping some of my fine BSV readers can help with some feedback. So, please let me know whether you love it, hate it, etc.

One important note for understanding the first scene: I always thought it was blindingly obvious that the whole ridiculous demon eggs thing was an attempt to get Buffy money. In fact I thought for a long time that there was an actual line of dialog along those lines. There isn't. But that's how I continue to interpret that mess.


Chapter One


Why could he not just leave her alone? She was trying to train and work out some of the tension her morning shift had bored into her. And her recent method of working out the kinks was no longer an option, even if he didn't seem to get that. But of course he'd come sneaking through the sewers to see her. Buffy rolled her eyes at Spike for what had to be the tenth time in the space of three minutes. "Spike. I cannot quit my job. And what do you care anyway?"

"Would free you up."

"To do what?"

He smirked and thrust his hips forward slightly. "Could think of something."

She took a step back from him. "So never happening again," she hissed at him, heading for the stairs.

"So you keep saying, pet."

Buffy sighed and stopped walking. "It's over, Spike," she reiterated, more gently. "I can't do this any more. And I have to keep working. In case you hadn't noticed, Dawn is growing like an irradiated hamster. She probably will already need new clothes tomorrow."

"Can get Dawn her kit and whatever else you need. I told you, I can get you money."

She was trying, really trying not to just blow up at him. Because for a while there, before she'd been dumb enough to sleep with him, Spike had been becoming a friend. But this was really too much.

"Because that went so well the last time?" she demanded incredulously. He had the grace to look embarrassed at that. She started walking again, knowing he'd still follow a step behind. "Please, let it go. Let me go."

"Buffy!" he called out, and she ignored him, which turned out to be a really bad idea. Because he'd probably been trying to warn her about the glowy nimbus of light she'd just crashed through. It was like being crushed flat and then reinflated upside down. She tumbled onto the grass and gulped for breath.

"Buffy? What's happened? Are you alright?"

Spike was standing over her, looking at her curiously.

Only it wasn't Spike. Because his hair was all wrong and he was wearing glasses. And also because the sun was beating directly against his back and he wasn't exploding. Oh, and there was a tiny baby strapped to his chest.

He reached out a hand then quickly drew it back. "You're not Buffy."


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She should have been paying better attention, Buffy scolded herself. If she'd noticed that hooded jogger sooner, he wouldn't have bumped her right into whatever freaky portal or wormhole or whatever she'd just fallen through. Unless the guy had meant to push her. It figured; this was just her life. Slayer tries to be a good wife and mom, go out on a little stroll with the family before dinner; slayer gets thrown through some sort of magic door. She fell out of the light into a pair of cool hands.

Fighting against a wave of dizziness, she spun and pulled her stake. "Bloody hell!" the vampire protested, sounding vaguely familiar as he knocked her weapon away. Cool skin pressed against her throat and her wrist, and then a hard leg trapped both of hers against the wall. When she blinked him into focus, she felt queasy.

"Spike?"

"That was some light show, you put on," another male voice put in. She lifted her head and what looked like Xander goggled at her. "Buffy?"

"Looks like her," Spike answered. "But it's not her. She fell into some sort of portal or something. This one came out."

"Yeah, I kinda noticed that, what with the big flashy and…. Hey! What's... what's happening to her, um, chestal area?"

Buffy looked down and sighed at the sight of an ill-timed letdown. At least the vampire with her husband's face took his dead hand off her and gave her some air. She took a deep breath and crossed her arms over her chest. "So your Buffy went through a shiny blob of light, and so did I? How about we call Giles and get started on getting us put back in the right places?"

The two men exchanged looks. "I'll raise Red," Spike volunteered, heading for the stairs. Xander just stared at her for another long moment before shrugging off his flannel over shirt and offering it to her.

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They looked so... sad. Buffy was intensely grateful for whatever was different back home to make them all... not like this. And only half the crew was there, which was odd. Unless this was the crew in this dreary place. She needed to get home, immediately. William was going to be in a total panic. She rubbed at her rings, glad she'd lost enough weight to get them back on. This Anya had an engagement ring on her hand, which was beyond unsettling.

Willow, who was dressed like some sort of Ren Faire reject, seemed to be the official spokesperson for the group. "So, you have a baby? How old is the baby?" she asked finally, like that was remotely relevant at the moment. Classic Willow.

"Not quite three months. So I'd kinda like to get home soon." Her body ached at the separation.

Xander cleared his throat. "Can I ask the question of who the lucky guy is? I mean, if it's anyone we'd know." This was not going to go over well with this crowd, she could tell. Spike wasn't even sitting at the table with them. He was pouting in his own little corner -- and also still a vampire. When he noticed where her eyes had gone, Xander made a choked sound. "Spike? You're married to Spike?"

Willow was getting all wobbly mouthed. "Is this because of the spell? I mean, is this my fault?"

Spike shot Willow a nasty glare, which was probably not helping matters any. When he saw her disapproving glance he slumped back in his chair and crossed his arms like a scolded teenager. He was such a pouty pants when he was a vampire; she had forgotten that. "Well, you did a spell like that once too, but he was still a vampire then."

"Still a vampire now," Spike grumbled.

"No you're not," she replied. "At least, not in my world. Thanks to Willow."

"I made him human?" Willow asked, looking a little dazed.

"No," Buffy laughed. "You know, you did the whole soul-curse thing. He didn't get all sanshued until later."

"She did what?"

"I did what?"

"How is the lack of footwear related?"

Buffy was officially confused. Spike looked like he might spring across the room and throttle Willow. "So," she asked Spike, "you don't have your soul?"

"No, thank Christ."

"It never even occurred... I mean, why?" Willow whimpered. "I mean, even before he was a vampire, he was all Jack the Ripper and--"

Buffy couldn't help herself. She burst into a hail of giggles and had to sit down.

"What?" Willow cried anxiously.

Spike gave her a look that was so thunderous she decided there had been enough big reveals for one hour. She struggled to compose herself. "Never... never mind. You did the soul spell shortly after the whole engagement fiasco."

"And that's when you two st-started dating?" asked Tara, whose presence was a bit of a mystery.

She shook her head. "God no!" She loved her Spike now, but before the change he had been so... for one thing there was the whole vampire-with-a-soul thing that she wasn't up for a second round of. Plus he'd been so bitchy to her friends, no matter how much he was making sad puppy eyes at her when he thought no one was looking. "But he started helping us then, and there was this prophecy. So after he helped us with the whole Adam thing..." When they nodded in acknowledgement, she went on. "Bam! Heartbeat. It was a little unsettling for everybody. But we all adjusted, eventually."

"What a bloody nightmare," Spike groused under his breath.

"Oh yeah, it's been just terrible," she snapped at him. She had forgotten just how much the pulse had improved his personality.

Although he had been pretty irritating at first. All pouty and touchy about being weak until he started training with Giles and then the council. He'd been gone most of the summer, and she hadn't even thought about him really, except to argue a few times with her mother about whether he should start working in the gallery. Buffy lost the argument. So because he had started assisting her mom at work, she knew he was back in Sunnydale, but she hadn't seen him.

The Celtic Festival in the park was Willow's idea. Buffy had to admit it was fun. She'd expected it to be campy or filled with Lord of the Dance types. But instead there was great music and beer and groups of little kids doing complicated dance routines that she didn't think she could manage even with slayer grace. And weapons, lots of weapons being displayed and sold in booths around the park. Some of the dealers were demons, but the harmless types.

"Geek hotness at 2 o'clock," Willow pointed out. "What? I'm taken, not blind."

Buffy wrinkled her nose. She too was taken, but not blind. And Willow wasn't wrong. He had wavy, fair hair and there were definite muscles under the navy tee and blue jeans. He was apparently haggling with the sales guy about the sword he was hefting. He handled it like he knew what he was doing too. She always had liked a guy who knew how to handle his weapon.

She giggled a little. "How can you tell he's a geek?"

Willow shrugged. "We tend to recognize our own," she laughed back. "So, I'm not wrong, then?"

"No," Buffy admitted. "There is a definite heat quotient."

Then he turned in their direction and they both gave a little 'glah' of recognition. Because it was Spike. And he’d just given them that shy smile he’d developed and ambled over to stammer out a hello and offer her the sword as if it were a bouquet of daisies.

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

The sound of the present Willow's voice shook her out of her memory. She nodded quickly. "Look, if we could just maybe figure out how to get me home, I'd really love that."

"Of course, Buffy," Willow assured her. "We'll figure it out."

"I'll take you home," Xander volunteered. "Probably you should let me go in first, explain things to Dawn."

"Sure," she agreed. "Who's Dawn?"


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I'll post the next chapter tomorrow. Thanks for reading and (hopefully) reviewing!