AN: Part of "Vanishing Point" was used here.
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DECEMBER 4, 2005- ROME

Giles scribbled furiously, trying to transcribe what he heard, “That’s l-o-t-e-r? Yes, I’ve got it,” he shook his head, “ Yes, we do have people who can help us to locate him. Stephen Riley will be taking the next flight to the States, and Los Angeles. He may be of assistance in that. Can you gain access to the object in question? I see. Well, I will put you in touch with an associate of ours. She is acquainted with Spike, as well as the former C.E.O. of the Los Angeles branch. She will tell you where your search may be most fruitful. Once you find it, please make sure it gets to Mrs. Buffy Summers-Dustin-number 80 Jennings Street- Los Angeles. No, I will tell her to expect it. Thank you for your help, Miss Johansen. Pia,” he smiled, “Yes, thank God for the computer age. Everything still has a paper trail. Thank you again,” he said as he hung up the phone.

“Well,” Xander pressed, “What did she say? Did Wolfram and Hart have a file on Spike or not?”

“Yes they did. They opened the file when it was discovered that he wore the amulet, rather than Angel. It seems that the firm had intended to coerce Angel to do their bidding first by giving him power, then by tying him to their firm through the amulet,” Giles sighed, “It was hoped, apparently, that he would be grateful for his ‘rescue,’ and overlook some of the firm’s more shady dealings.”

“ ‘Rescue?’ From where?” Dawn asked.

“From a dimension called X’yxeth. It’s a Loterminenthalogcial dimension.”

“A who?” Xander questioned.

“A dimension where one’s most hidden thoughts are collected, and made real.”

“You mean, like the time the kid in the coma made all of our nightmares come true?”

“Yes Xander, I suppose I do. Except, rather than a localized disturbance, as was the case in Sunnydale, essentially, an entire world could be populated with terrors such as we experienced.”

“Oh,” Xander groaned, “That could be bad.”

“Indeed.”

“But, Angel didn’t wear the amulet. Spike did. What does that mean for him?” Dawn bit her lip and her eyes widened with worry, “What was the amulet supposed to do?”

“The amulet was designed to hold Angel prisoner. Until he agreed to Wolfram and Hart’s terms of release,” Giles said grimly.

“What terms?” Dawn asked.

“Allow the apocalypse to proceed, unchallenged. Angel only discovered the true nature of the talisman when he became C.E.O. of Wolfram and Hart. By then, it was too late to help Spike.”

Dawn was horrified, “You mean, that Angel let Fred die, and possibly the Slayers, because he was trying to get Spike out of there?”

“Yes,” Giles lowered his eyes and his voice was barely a whisper, “I’m afraid so.”

“And, did they come through with their end of the deal.”

“No.”

“Which just proves that lawyers are evil personified,” Xander commented, “Angel should have seen that one coming.”

“So,” Dawn asked, “ Spike is still trapped there?”

Giles nodded, “There is a portion of his soul that was not released into the ether when he rescued Buffy from Drusilla. So yes. A part of him is still trapped there.”

Dawn could feel her throat tightening, “And, what happens to Spike, or us, if we try to get him back?”

“There’s no way to know.”
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DECEMBER 22, 2005- LOS ANGELES-

Buffy watched Oscar leave, and was thankful that he did. There was something about him that she just didn’t like, and it wasn’t just that he was a vampire. There was something especially creepy about him, and if he was the guy that left that picture of Angel on the doorstep a few nights ago…

Did he say something about Angel…?

She felt a cold come over her, and begin to smother her. She was frightened, more frightened than she’d ever been. So frightened that she found it difficult to breathe.

The question was…why?

Her hands trembled as she closed the door. She turned to Spike, and instantly knew why she felt the way she did. It was obvious.

She had seen him angry and hurt, driven mad by lust and guilt, and she’d seen him when he was frightened. But, as she turned around, she knew she had never seen him…that scared.

“Spike,” she said quietly, “it’s all right. He’s gone now.” She could see him trembling, and could feel her own heart pounding hard against her ribs in response to his distress. She felt the need to be close to him, so she moved slowly toward him. The closeness only seemed to intensify her own need, and her head became fogged with fear, and she knew why, “Joni’s upstairs,” she said, for herself as much as him. Hearing it was reassuring, but it didn’t stop the pounding, or the haunted look in his eye; she wanted to do what she could to take the fear away from him, “Can you tell me?” she asked, “I’m here,” Buffy nodded, her gaze, that she hoped was reassuring, and did not reveal how frightened she was, never leaving his, “I’m not leaving. I lived on a Hellmouth,” her mouth turned up in a slight smirk, “And I married a vampire…you think you could scare me away, now? No way in Hell, mister. Please tell me. I need to know from you, not some stranger, and not Giles…I need to know, Spike. Please tell me.”

Spike opened his mouth to speak, even drew the breath he needed, but found he could not. He looked down in shame, and Buffy drew even closer to him. When she did, Spike took a step back, away from her, as if he were afraid to touch her, “Please don’t!” he hissed, “Don’t touch me. I’m dirty…unclean. I told you to leave me there!” his eyes weren’t haunted now, they were blazing with anger and fear, “Why couldn’t you go away and leave me, let me forget?”

Buffy could feel the pressure of tears behind her eyes, and if they were falling, she wasn’t going to stop them. He needed to see what he meant to her, “I couldn’t,” she said, “Being without you hurt. I don’t know why, but it hurt!” she croaked. Placing a hand over her heart, she whispered, “Here.”

“I know,” Spike spoke softly, looking up at her, pain in his eyes, “I felt it…for years…I felt it. I felt so empty, without you. And, I couldn’t stay away. I wanted to, needed to…but the ache…” he fell silent, pain and loss clouding his face.

“Then you know. How could you ask me that? Joni needed you…I needed you.”

“Buffy…” his tone was gruff and tight.

“No, it’s true. I couldn’t leave you. I had to be near you, and somehow I knew that you weren’t…”

“But I am!” he growled, “I’m not the same, I can’t be…not without…it. Him. And he’s gone.”

“Are you talking about your soul?” Buffy tried to keep her voice low, not wanting to wake Joni, who she hoped was still sleeping peacefully, “Because, that doesn’t matter to me. I told you that,” she tried to step closer to him, silently, begging him to understand that she was telling him the truth, finally. It really didn’t matter to her anymore.

Spike shook his head sadly, but did not move away from her, “I’m not talking about William’s soul, Buffy,” he said, “I’m talking about mine. Do you understand now? Mine.”

Buffy nodded.

“And, I’m afraid, Buffy,” Spike continued, “They told me…”

“Who told you what, Spike?” Buffy whispered.

“Doesn’t matter who, matters what. They told me…” he swallowed hard, closed his eyes, and his voice became a soft pleading sob; a sob that was desperate, reaching for her, he confessed the one fear that had broken him, and had allowed him to become an animal. An animal he feared he had brought into her world because of his weakness, “They told me,” he sobbed, “that if I came back…Joni would die…”

“Oh, God!” Buffy gasped, “They have to be lying. They’re lying, Spike!”

They just had to be lying. This was Wolfram and Hart, after all…They were lying.

Spike murmured as if he hadn’t heard her, “And now, I won’t be able to love her, while she’s here…hold her, or even know her, because…it’s gone!”

Both parents were so lost in their grief that they didn’t notice a pair of little girl eyes, watching them from the top of the stairs. Tears were streaming down her face as she whispered, in a quiet, hurt little voice, “Oh, Papa…no!”