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A/N Many thanks to Carol and Dawnofme for their beta work :)




Chapter Ten



You’re Going Where?



As soon as Spike heard the door open, he stood up. Buffy walked down the steps and over to him, but when she went to kiss him he brushed her aside.


“Not now, pet, just get this thing off me,” he said.


“Wow. Grumpy much?” said Buffy. “Didn’t sleep too good, huh?”


“More like hardly at all. I’ve got stuff to tell you so hurry up.” He waved his hand at her.


“OK. OK.”


As soon as the chain fell from his wrist Spike bolted upstairs. Buffy ran up after him. Everyone was in the kitchen as Spike burst in to the room.


“You must be really hungry,” said Willow as he marched in.


“Not really, no, just got to tell you, I had dreams, well memories last night and this three fourteen, this Adam, is major bad news. I remembered all sorts of stuff. They’re creating something back there that is designed to surpass all demons, and if it works, they plan to make an army of them. It’ll make what they did to me look like child’s play. It’s evil and it’s going to be out of control. I think the Professor is working for herself, not The Initiative on this. I spent a few days in the area near three fourteen when they were working on me. She went in there in the middle of the night - I don’t think she knew I was with it enough to take it in, and anyway I couldn’t tell anyone about it, could I? To be honest it wasn’t until you triggered that response, that I did think there was anything wrong about it, but she’d go in there with computer equipment. I think she’s reprogramming whatever Adam is for her own ends. She worked on me a bit at night too; that’s when she’d say she was my mother and that I had a brother. I remembered more about you guys too, this is what you do – stop evil.”


“Boy, is it a good thing that you don’t need to breathe,” said Xander.


“Yes, that was quite a speech, Spike,” said Giles. “Are you sure they weren’t just dreams that you were having?”


“Christ, Giles. Half of what I’ve said I figured out since I woke up!”


“Spike, chill,” said Buffy. “Just calm down a bit,” she added before he could open his mouth to protest.


Spike tried to get a grip. He took a couple of deep breaths, sat down and tried again.


“Look, I’m sorry but I’ve been awake for hours and I don’t think we’ve got much time to waste. I think Adam is nearly ready to make his presence felt.”


“So what do you propose we do?” asked Giles.


Spike looked at them all. He couldn’t believe what he was about to say, but there was no other way without putting the others at serious risk.


“I have to go back in,” he said.


Everyone started talking at once.


“Enough!” roared Giles. They all shut up.


“And why do you think you have to go back in? If you’re locked up again how is that going to help us?” asked Giles.


“I’m sure The Professor’s plans included me. If I get back in it may put off Adam’s debut for a time, whilst she…er…checks me out. When it’s going down I’ll have to get word to you somehow, and you can arrive with the cavalry.”


“How do you intend to let us know? Got a phone in your cell I suppose?” said Giles.


“Well, it wouldn’t matter if I did,” said Spike as he turned to Willow. “Because Red here’s going to have to put me back how I was.”


Again, the cacophony of voices. Giles once more settled everyone down.


“No, hear me out, OK? It makes sense to have me inside right?” He looked round at Buffy and Giles. “Someone on the inside always gives an advantage.” They nodded reluctantly. “If I go in there as I am now they’re going to smell a rat. It’s down to Red, really. Can you switch off my speech and my arm again but leave out the chip’s mind control action? I can fake that but no way can I fake the arm or the speech.”


“Why can’t you just pretend not to talk, too?” asked Dawn tearfully.


“Niblet, they’ll probably do, um, stuff to me that would show my ability to speak.” said Spike.


“But…” protested Dawn.


“Dawn, they’re going to hurt him, to test him,” said Buffy, she turned to Spike. “Aren’t they?”


“That’s the way The Initiative works, pet,” said Spike.


“Without the mind control, how can you fake it if she does something like when she made you take that hot silencer off? How will you be able to do that? If they realise you’re deprogrammed, they’ll kill you,” said Buffy.


“I can do that. I’ve endured so much pain, I know I can do it. I just disconnect myself from it; it’s how I survived where others didn’t, I reckon. Just because they order you to do something it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt, you just don’t take any notice until later,” said Spike.


The others were silent, barely able to comprehend what he’d been through.


“Plus I think the worst that will happen is that she’ll reprogram me. She’s invested too much time in me to just kill me, so if I get reprogrammed you guys’ll have to sort me out again, or kill me, but Adam must be stopped.”


“Ok, let’s back up a little,” said Giles. “If you’re mute how can you get in touch with us?”


Spike once again turned to Willow.


“I’m remembering that you’re pretty good with the mo-jo. Is there any way you can get it so that we can talk to each other in our thoughts? Is it possible?”


“Yes,” said Willow. “If we practice a bunch of times, it’ll be easy to find the link when you need to; plus we’ll know if she gets into your mind because I’ll check in regularly and I won’t be able to if she’s controlling you.”


“I don’t want you back in there, Spike,” said Buffy.


“Can’t say I want to but I have to. They’ll have your number before you get within two hundred yards of Adam. Least this way we’ll get in close before we do anything. I’ve thought about it all night, it’s the only way.”


Buffy shook her head. “No way, I’ve just got you back. I can’t lose you again.”


Spike put his hand on her arm and led her in to the lounge room, away from the others. He put his hand on her face, gazing deeply in to her eyes. “They took a year of my life from me. They kept me away from you. They tortured me in ways I don’t ever want you to know about. I have to do this. If I don’t, then I’m not sure that I’ll ever really be me again. They’ll have won.”


“But you’ll be here, safe with me. Isn’t that enough?” asked Buffy with tears in her eyes.


Spike smiled sadly at her. It ought to be enough, but it wasn’t. He needed to do something to get back his sense of self. Not least, he needed revenge and if that meant going back into the wolf’s den then that is where he was going. He let his hand slide from her cheek to the back of her head and drew her in to a kiss.


“I’ve got to do it, love. I need you to let me do it.”


Buffy stared into his blue eyes that were clouded with emotion. She realised that he had to do it;that stopping him might have a detrimental effect on his mind. God knows, how he had managed to survive what he’d been through without going completely insane. And so, reluctantly, Buffy agreed, on the condition that he and Willow had to prove to her that they could communicate after she’d messed with the chip. They walked back to the others.


“So, when do we do it?” said Giles, “and how are you going to arrive back? You can’t just walk in.”


“I did last time.” He smiled at Buffy, wishing he hadn’t said it as he saw her wince. “I’m sure the chip includes instructions to get back to The Professor if anything goes wrong. I reckon if I hadn’t been tied up and told to sit on the bed, and you left me at the door, I would’ve headed straight there. As for when? Tonight, there’s no time to lose.”


“Oh!” squeaked Willow. “It’ll take me a while to program the computers so I’d better get started.” She hurried out of the room.


“Are you certain you want to do this?” asked Giles. “I’m sure we could figure something else out.”


“Look, it’s the best way and you know it,” said Spike adamantly.


Buffy looked at Spike. God, how could she have doubted her love for him? She’d gotten used to the short brown hair by now, it didn’t emphasise the blue of his eyes as much as the blond did but it suited him. He still had the cheekbones to die for, more so now as he was so lean. He caught her eye and winked at her; she nearly melted.


To be continued...