Buffy just stared at her Watcher for a long moment, not knowing what to say. She tried to organize her scrambled thoughts before she allowed them to leave her mouth – time had taught her that that was usually wiser than the alternative.

The first ideas that popped into her head as to what she intended to do with Spike were all things that she doubted her Watcher had meant, or would appreciate hearing about. As to the more serious version of the question that Giles had actually meant to ask – Buffy had absolutely no idea how to respond.

That was precisely her problem. In a moment of weakness and need, she had made a rash decision that had altered her life – and Spike’s – for good. And now, she had to somehow figure out just how she was going to deal with that decision. Because yes, what she had done was definitely permanent, she thought with determination. Whatever confusion she felt over her feelings, however conflicted she was at the moment, she knew one thing for certain – now that Spike was hers, she was not ever going to give him up.

She drew a deep breath to reply, then paused, letting it out slowly before she admitted in a tone of defeat and uncertainty, “I have absolutely no clue whatsoever.”

Giles allowed himself a small, patient smile at her honesty. At least it was a place to start. “As I suspected,” he nodded slowly.

Deflated, unsure, and desperately in need of the wise counsel she had so recklessly cast off before, Buffy sank down on the bench beside Giles. “I don’t know *what* to do,” she went on in a small, anxious voice. “I mean –he’s a vampire, right? Soulless. Evil. Killer. Not really changed, just – on a leash. So – it shouldn’t really matter what I do to him. That’s what makes sense in my head, and what everybody around me keeps saying. I mean, I used to stake vampires all the time, so why should the whole slavery thing bother me?”

She paused for breath, meeting his eyes, her own troubled and questioning as she added softly, “Why does the whole idea just make me feel sick inside?”

There was mingled relief and sorrow in Giles’ eyes at her words – mixed with a little bit of guilt. “To be quite honest with you, Buffy, I would be quite worried if it did not,” he informed her. “And I must tell you – I’ve a bit of a confession to make.” He paused, seeming to struggle to find the right words.

Buffy’s eyes widened in curious surprise, wondering what could possibly have caused the look of shame and regret in the older man’s eyes. Suddenly, she felt a sense of apprehension come over her, even as she reassured him, “What, Giles? You haven’t done anything.”

A sad smile passed across his lips, and he shook his head slightly as he raised his eyes to meet hers again. “No,” he agreed. “Perhaps not. Not intentionally, my dear. But over the course of the last few years, I have come to believe that I have – I have failed you, Buffy. I have – grievously misled you.”

She was silent, just waiting for him to go on, an unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. Everything about his tone, his eyes, the mood that had suddenly settled over them, told her instinctively that whatever he was about to say was going to be momentous, possibly altering her entire worldview.

Overhead, a cloud slipped across the sun, dulling the brilliance of Tara’s garden that surrounded them, and setting a chill of foreboding in Buffy’s heart. She kept silent, determining just to let him speak and tell her whatever it was he was trying so hard to tell her.

When Giles went on, his voice was quiet. “For as long as I was a member of the Council, they always held the belief…”

“Wait,” Buffy stopped him, her eyes widening in surprise and her resolve forgotten instantly. “You *were* with the Council? As in you’re not anymore? You’re not – not a Watcher anymore?” Her voice became more timid, and a little frightened on the end of her question, and he knew that what she meant was not “*a* Watcher” – but rather “*my* Watcher”.

“Not -- *officially*, Buffy,” he amended her words slightly, and there was something reassuring in his voice. “But please do let me finish. What I have to tell you is – really quite important.”

She dutifully fell silent again, forcing herself to just sit back against the bench and listen, though her entire body was tense with anticipation.

“You see – around the time all of this was just beginning, right after we defeated Adam,” Giles went on. “I began to do further research into the idea of whether or not a vampire could be – taught – to act contrary to his nature, to act with a sense of morality, with any consistency.”

“Because of Spike,” Buffy guessed, remembering. “and his chip.”

“Precisely.” Giles nodded. “The whole situation brought up a number of questions for me regarding behavior and nature, and the importance of a vampire’s soul – or rather, lack thereof. I began to research the matter in my personal time, but did not really get into it more thoroughly until – well, until *all* my time became personal time.”

Buffy dropped her gaze at the unintentional reminder of her dismissal of him, grateful that he was at least attempting to handle the matter gracefully. A veiled jibe here or there was really the least that she deserved.

“I returned to England for a short time, and intensified my research as Riley’s organization began to become more powerful here in the states. But as hard as I tried, I could find very little written or recorded in regards to the nature of the soul – what it controls – the effects of its loss. My questions were met with guarded, incomplete answers, and little by little, I began to come to a conclusion that was deeply troubling.”

He paused, and Buffy frowned, a half-finished understanding beginning in her mind. "What?" she pressed impatiently.

Giles took a deep breath before dropping the bomb. "We have no written history -- no evidence -- no indications of any kind as to whether or not an unsouled vampire might still retain some sort of…emotions…conscience…some sense of right and wrong.”

Buffy’s mind went back to the time she had first dealt with Spike, and his obvious love for Drusilla. The strong emotions he had clearly felt back then had struck her hard then, placing the beginnings of the questions her Watcher was talking about in her mind for the first time. She looked back up at Giles, trying to focus on what he was saying.

“For as long as it has existed,” Giles was continuing. “the Council has purported the concept that all beings without souls are inherently evil and must be destroyed – that encompasses all vampires, demons…”

“Anything non-human,” Buffy interjected, a dark note in her voice expressing her disapproval of that mind-set. And when, she suddenly wondered with surprise, had she stopped agreeing with that mindset?

“Actually – yes,” Giles admitted with a nod. “That is the ideology that has governed the rules and training for the Slayer for as long as the Watchers have guided the Slayers.”

Buffy felt her whole world drop to the floor – with her stomach – at the as-yet unspoken implications of his words. “And you’re saying – that’s – not true?” she asked, her voice trembling and barely over a whisper.

All the years she had spent slaying – taking out vampires and demons simply because they *were* vampires and demons – and if there was a chance that some of them she had slain had *not* been evil – the thought made her world spin around her, made her question everything that she believed in and thought that she was.

“I’m saying,” Giles went on gently, meeting her eyes with a searching look of concern, wanting her to take what he said as it was meant, “that we’ve really no way of knowing for sure. The Council has no way of conclusively proving or disproving their stance on the soul.” He paused, looking away, his eyes distant with recent memories.

“When I began to wonder about these things, naturally I began asking questions, trying to find anyone who could disprove my suspicions. No one knew any more than I did – or wouldn’t say. The general advice I received was more or less to just – shut up about it.” His voice was calm and even as he added, “Naturally – I didn’t. Tensions began to rise between me and certain influential members of the Council. Before they could come to the inevitable conclusion that I had already reached – that my ideals were no longer in agreement with theirs – I quit the Council.”

Buffy let out an involuntary gasp of shock at his words. She could not imagine anything he could have said that would have stunned her more.

Giles smiled a little at her reaction. “I don’t regret it. I’m quite glad I did it, actually. I am only sorry, Buffy, that I followed their rules and ideas as long as I did, and that I allowed you to be deceived by them as well. I have come to the conclusion,” he went on softly, “that I can’t possibly know if the Council is right or wrong on their stand that vampires are utterly incapable of redemption. And if I can’t know for certain – I cannot in good conscience condone the mistreatment of them – especially when they’ve been made helpless even to defend their own lives.”

“So – everything,” Buffy whispered, shaking her head slightly, her eyes wide as she took it all in. “the slaying – my *calling*…”

“No, Buffy,” he stopped her gently, placing a steadying hand on her arm. He could see that his revelation was having a greater impact on her than he had anticipated, and it was worrying to him. “Your calling comes from a power much higher than the Watcher’s Council.” He laughed softly, but his eyes were solemn as they searched hers. “You are meant – destined – to be the Slayer, Buffy – to stop the spread of evil wherever you find it.” He paused.

“Even if you find it in places you never expected to.”

He looked down for a moment before going on. “In all my years as a Watcher, Buffy, I have seen enough to know – the work you do as the Slayer is good, and right – necessary. If left to their own devices, the vampires would eventually create such a menace as to destroy the world as we know it very quickly.”

Buffy shook her head, still confused. “But if they can be redeemed, how can I…”

“Buffy,” Giles broke in, shaking his head, knowing exactly where she was going with that, and wanting to head her off before she got there. “To say that you should not slay dangerous vampires because they *may* be redeemable – which is still unproven by the way, merely a theory of mine – would be like saying that one should release Ted Bundy or Charles Manson into the general public, on the slight chance that they *might* reform. No, your duty as the Slayer is unchanged by any of this.”

He paused, all traces of his smile fading. “But it seems that your husband has created an entirely new dilemma, Buffy – a species, or race, or whatever you want to call it, that does not fall into either of the realms that we are familiar with. The chipped vampires he has created are helpless, no threat to anyone…and there is a strong possibility, based on what I have observed, that they might become useful members of society, with the proper guidance and control. Therefore to enslave them, place them at the mercy of humans, seems…”

“Wrong,” Buffy stated simply, firmly, leaving no doubt as to her opinion on the matter. “It’s always seemed wrong to me. I just couldn’t – couldn’t make it make sense with what you’d always – what I’d always been taught,” she amended, looking away uncomfortably.

“Again, Buffy, I am truly sorry to have misled you. It was not my intention.” Giles’ voice was soft, and he looked at the ground as well. “But you are right. Slavery in any form is wrong. Yet, at the same time – the vampires cannot be left to their own devices without any guidance – not when we have no idea how much good or evil they may or may not be actually capable of,” he pointed out, his tone changing as he returned to the topic at hand. “There is a lot of damage that they could do, even without being capable of actual physical violence.”

Buffy’s mind went back to Spike’s participation in Adam’s plan, the way he had so skillfully separated her from her friends, so long ago. She nodded slowly, drawing a deep breath. Giles was right; Riley had created a race that could not be truly independent in human society – and yet should not be completely dominated either.

“Quite a mess Riley’s made,” she commented darkly.

“Indeed.” Giles agreed with a heavy sigh. “But, the fact is – the mess is made. And we now have to deal with it. That’s what I’m working on, Buffy – what I hope you’ll help me with. A plan that would free the chipped vampires from slavery, while incorporating a plan to train them, prepare them, to eventually be integrated into society.”

Buffy’s eyes widened as she processed what he was saying – the concept of a society with humans and chipped vampires living side by side. It was a world that she never would have imagined could exist – but now might be the best that they could do.

She looked up at her Watcher, her expression serious. “I want to know more about it,” she said softly. “This whole idea is very new to me – but I trust you, Giles. I want you to tell me everything you’re planning – what I can do to help. I *want* to help.”

Her voice was strong, decisive, as she met his gaze, and the Watcher felt a great sense of relief. “Of course, Buffy. I’ll fill you in on everything. We’ll have plenty of time now.”

“Giles,” Buffy went on after a moment. “I – I want you to know…I can’t – can’t let Spike go. If I did – he’d just end up much worse off than he is with me.”

Giles nodded slowly, cautiously accepting her statement.

“But – but I want to help him. Not hurt him,” she went on softly. She paused, hesitating, before she admitted, “I *have* hurt him. I’ll admit that. He – he made me mad, and I hit him. More than once. But – but I’m trying to change all that, Giles. I really am…”

“I know, Buffy,” Giles spoke softly, encouragingly. “I know you are. Years of training is not overcome overnight. You’re the Slayer – it’s in your very nature to hurt him. I’ll admit, that’s why I was immediately concerned to find that you owned a slave at all – much less that it was Spike – and to see his manner with you, well – I suppose I assumed the worst, Buffy.”

She gave him a small, sad little smile. “You weren’t too far off,” she reminded him quietly. Suddenly, she looked up, a puzzled, speculative frown on her face. “Hey. That reminds me. What about the vampires here with you? They’re *your* slaves, aren’t they? What’s that about?”

Giles smiled, almost secretively, standing up from the bench. “As you will soon see…they’re only slaves in the most technical sense of the word, Buffy. Shall we go back inside? I’d very much like you to meet them.”

Returning his smile, Buffy rose from the bench and followed her Watcher back toward the house.