Chapter 9 – Secrets and Lies


Sunnydale, 2000


“Who is it?” Buffy asked from the other side of the door.

Spike could hear her sniffling despite the wooden barrier between them. “It’s me, luv,” he replied. “May I come in?”

“You don’t need an invitation once you’re in a house,” she mumbled.

He bit back a smile as he opened the door, taking a step into her bedroom and frowning when he saw her kneeling beside a window, looking outside at the dark street. She never looked at him, even as he crouched beside her.

“Why are you here?” she asked quietly.

“Thought I’d see how you and your mum were, but Giles and Joyce told me you’ve been keeping yourself up here and ignoring visitors,” he answered. “Except for me, apparently.”

“Everyone else has been so apologetic,” she replied. “And every time I see one of my friends and how sad they are, it reminds me of what happened, of how badly I screwed up.”

“This wasn’t your fault,” he said. “You didn’t kill your sister.”

“But I didn’t exactly keep her safe, did I?” she shot back angrily. “It’s my fault… It will always be my fault.”

“Buffy-”

“Don’t,” she cut in. “I don’t want to hear what you have to say.”

“Then why did you let me in?” he asked, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice.

“Because out of all of my friends, you’re the only one I can tolerate having around,” she muttered, finally turning her head to look at him and seeing his surprised expression. “I think you’re the only person who really understands what’s going on, Spike.”

“Are you implying that I’m a friend?” he asked quietly.

“Would I let you come into my house if you weren’t?” she asked.

“Why don’t we go out for a walk or something?” he suggested, standing up and offering his hand to her, pulling her up when she put her hand on his. “It’s not good to shut yourself off from everyone and everything around you.”

“But it makes things a little easier,” she said as she walked out of her room, Spike following her.

“It’s not healthy,” he replied. “Besides, maybe you can take out some aggression through patrolling. You enjoy the staking and fighting of your job, yeah?”

“Only when I’m angry,” she answered.

“And aren’t you at least a tiny bit upset right now?” he asked.

She looked over her shoulder at him. “What do you think?”

They walked downstairs, and Giles and Joyce watched them from the living room as the two blondes left the house together, not telling them where they were going.

“Looks like she talked to him,” Joyce said, pleased.

Giles frowned and peeked out the window behind him to watch Buffy and Spike talk as they walked down the street. “It seems as though you’re right.”

“When am I wrong?” she asked, sipping from the mug of hot chocolate she was holding.

~~~~~~~~~~

“How is it that the one night I feel strongly motivated to slay, there isn’t anything out to fight?” Buffy asked sullenly, looking around the cemetery.

“Maybe the other baddies know to stay out of your way tonight,” Spike replied.

“I’m sure news in the underground travels fast when it involves the Slayer and anything bad in her life,” she said, sitting down on top of a gravestone.

“You’re not wrong,” he said, sitting on a marble bench a few feet away from her. “It’s good to know when your enemies are on a warpath. Although with you, you’re always on a mission.”

“Some nights more than others.” She looked down at her hands, resting on her lap, and sighed. “Why aren’t there any kamikaze demons or vampires when you need them?”

Spike smirked and lit a cigarette. “It’s not often that you’ll find a Big Bad with a death wish.”

“Really?” she asked. “I used to think you had one.”

“What gave you that idea?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“You always hung around and annoyed me to the point where staking you seemed like fun,” she answered, shrugging. “When you first came to Sunnydale, I was afraid of you – I didn’t know if I could take you in a fight if it really came down to the wire.”

“Yeah?” he asked proudly, sitting up straighter.

“Yep,” she answered. “But then you got chipped last year and became too easy of a target.”

“Thanks for reminding me,” he replied, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“And as many times as I considered staking you over this last year, I couldn’t do it,” she said, raising her eyes to his. “I won’t fight you to the death when you can’t fight me back – it wouldn’t be right.”

“Are you actually being nice to me, Slayer?” he asked, intrigued.

“Have I been mean to you yet tonight?” she asked, and he shook his head. “Then why would I start now?”

“You never know with you.”

“I like to keep you on your toes,” she replied before hesitating. “Giles told me you had a lead on who killed Dawn but that you ended up being wrong. Who did you think it was?”

“Maybe we should get you home, pet,” he said in an attempt to change the subject, standing up.

“Why won’t you answer?” she asked, tilting her head as she studied him.

“Because I lied to your Watcher – I wasn’t wrong,” he answered, averting his eyes from hers.

She instantly got off of the tombstone and walked closer to him. “Who was it?”

“The same person you thought it was the night Dawn disappeared,” he said.

“Harmony?” she asked after a moment, confused. “Is that who did it?”

“Yes.” He looked at her and noticed the tears in her eyes. “Buffy, Rupert didn’t tell you everything he knows about the situation, either.”

“What’re you talking about?” she asked.

“I was the one who found Dawn,” he said, looking way when tears rolled down her cheeks. “She was in my crypt when I returned from your house a few nights ago, and I called your Watcher to take care of everything while I went off to find Harmony.”

“How did you know it was her?” she managed to ask, her voice sounding choked.

“I caught her scent on Dawn’s body,” he answered. “I got a tip on where she was hiding out and staked her.”

“You dusted her?” Her eyes widened in disbelief.

“I know I should’ve let you do it, but I-” he trailed off. “I’m sorry.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked, the anger evident in her tone. “Why didn’t Giles tell me?”

“Because I was afraid you’d stake me, thinking I was involved,” he answered. “You told me the night Dawn vanished that if you found out that Harmony was behind everything, you’d dust us both. Giles didn’t know about Harmony, but he figured that you wouldn’t react well if you knew I had found Dawn because you’d undoubtedly associate me with her death.”

“I never thought you played a part in her disappearance,” she said, wiping off her cheeks, upset. “You should’ve told me! I should’ve known about everything! Why would you keep me out of the loop when it involves me, my family?”

“I didn’t want to be the one to tell you,” he murmured. “I knew you wouldn’t take it well if I was the one to give you all of the details… and I guess I was right.”

“Out of everyone, I would’ve expected you to understand the most, to know that I need to be aware of what’s going on,” she said. “You shouldn’t have kept this all a secret from me because you were trying to save your own ass!”

“Can you blame me?” he shouted. “All you need is one reason to shove something pointy and wooden through my chest!”

“I told you that I wouldn’t stake you unless it was a fair fight,” she replied sharply.

“If you were angry enough, you’d do it anyways, wouldn’t you?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“Yes, but-”

“Go home, Slayer,” he said, interrupting her. “Go tell your Watcher, mum, and Scoobies about Harmony – they should probably know that the threat is gone and that you’re all out of the woods.”

He turned and stormed off, heading towards his crypt and ignoring Buffy as she called out his name.

She sighed sadly and began to walk home, never noticing the small girl seated on top of a crypt about fifty feet away, listening to the conversation between Spike and Buffy before watching them split up.

“When will you ever learn, Spike?” Tessa asked, shaking her head. “There’s no such thing as being perfectly safe. Threats will always exist for us, for humans.”

~~~~~~~~~~


London, 1880


William and Drusilla returned to the hotel suite about an hour after they left, both satisfied after feeding from two young prostitutes. When they got inside, he was surprised to see that some things were missing.

“Drusilla,” he said, beginning to walk into the bedroom that Tessa had been sleeping in and noticing that the clothes she had brought with her were gone, along with both Angelus’ and Darla’s belongings. “What is going on?”

“Perhaps they are taking a trip,” Drusilla lied, wrapping her arms around William’s waist. “I would not worry.”

“How can I not worry?” he asked, upset, pushing her arms away. “The girl I have sworn to look after is gone!”

“I am sure they will be back,” she said, taking his hand in hers and leading him towards the bed. “How about we enjoy our time alone before they return?”

“Did they mention leaving before?” he asked, oblivious to her beginning to undo the fastenings of her dress. “They said they would leave us be alone and go out for the night, but did they mean they would be gone for longer than that?”

“I do not know,” she replied dismissively, lying on the bed. “Let us focus on more interesting things, William. I would not worry so much about your precious Tessa – she is in good hands.”