Author's Note: Thanks to all my readers and reviewers and my wonderful beta, Kar, whose comments and corrections are always so helpful. I’ve got a good chunk of the next part written. Feedback would be very much appreciated.


Chapter Five:

Having made her pronouncement, the other Buffy went flouncing off the porch and left Spike in peace. Or it would have been peace if she hadn't given him something rather unpleasant to think on. He lit another cigarette and shook his head. Girl was wrong, didn't know what she needed.

"So, what am I doing while you're tramping all over the world with my sister? Or did you just totally forget I exist? Because that would pretty much be my guess."

To the best of his knowledge there was nothing demonic about Dawn. Her stare at the moment though looked lethal. He took a drag to buy himself some time. Bit was too bright for her own good. "You'd come along, of course," he offered with far too much enthusiasm.

She rolled her eyes, clearly not buying it. "Right. Way to cover, Spike." She huffed and sat on the step next to him. "Like I'd even want to. I mean, seeing the world is a yay, but with you two? And besides, I'm pretty much stuck here forever. Or at least until I graduate." She studied his face for a long tense moment. "I thought you were the one who was always saying her friends and family were the reason she'd lasted this long."

"That was before."

"Before what? Before you?" She snorted elaborately when he gave her a defiant look. "Oh my god, you really think the rest of us are useless, or worse, don't you? That's why you don't hang out with me anymore. Now that Buffy's back it's no longer gallant to watch over little sis. I'm just another burden on her now, right?"

"Didn't say that," he muttered, not wanting to look her in the face. She'd hit a little too close to the mark.

"No. But you thought it."

"She doesn't want me hanging about you, as you're well aware."

"I think you're wrong about that. I mean, like what you're doing now, hanging around like a guard dog on the porch or making me do my homework. She probably wouldn't mind you being around for that so much if you'd, like, comb your hair out and not be smoking when the new social worker inevitably catches you skulking around during one of her surprise inspections."

"So I'm to be her dog, then?"

She frowned at him. "You could try being her friend," she advised him, her voice taking on a lecturing tone that made her sound more than a little like her sister.

He stabbed out his cigarette. "Wouldn't hurt for you to be a bit easier on her yourself, Niblet."

"Whatever," she muttered, leaning back on her elbows. A comfortable silence settled over them. "I miss her."

"Know you do."

"Say one," she whispered, reviving an old ritual from the summer. "No Dickinson either."

"Right then," he agreed. "Something cheerful."


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Anya prodded Buffy's arms into the right configuration with detached efficiency. "There you go. Lay her too flat and she'll get an ear infection."

Buffy gave a grateful smile and slowly offered Celia the bottle, afraid she'd apply too much slayer strength and ram in into the back of her throat. The little girl latched on, her eyes glittering happily before they closed. Buffy touched her thumb to the baby's cheek, feeling her suck and swallow.

"Don't worry. It passes."

Buffy startled and looked up. "Huh?"

"That urge you're feeling right now to hold one of your own," Anya explained, looking up from her knitting.

"Oh." She carefully shrugged her shoulders. It was weird that this Anya could read her so well. "Yeah. I mean, motherhood? It feels seven hundred years too early." She smiled down at the baby, wondering how the other her could possibly feel so differently about it. "Was she... planned?"

Anya sniffed and picked up her needles. "Not at all. Buffy, the resident Buffy I mean, didn't even know until Angel showed up after the funeral and asked her about it. And then he and William got into a big fight about her honor, which is how the rest of them found out who the father was."

"They were keeping it a secret?"

Anya hummed. "They were spending a lot of time together. Her friends didn't know they were sleeping together. I thought it was blindingly obvious, but no one ever listens to me." She frowned at her pile of yarn. "No one was especially surprised though. William had been obviously courting her for months."

"And everyone was okay with it?"

"Rupert didn't like it very much. I think he was worried that Spike might not adjust to humanity all that well. As much as he hates what he used to be, it did take him a while to get used to not having some of the benefits of a vampire's constitution." She held out her arms for the baby and quickly elicited a burp. "But you all reconciled before the wedding."

It all sounded too good to be true. She took the baby back and cuddled the dozing child close. Eventually she'd be home again, but for the moment it was nice to have someone else's life. Or if she never did make it back, there were worse places to be stuck.


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Spike kicked off his shoes and sank into the couch. Big parties at the gallery always took it out of him. Hours spent being sociable with utter cretins who knew nothing about art was a waking nightmare . The young artists themselves were some of the worst. The added terror of wondering what had become of his wife had not exactly helped steady his mood.

He could hear the Bot singing one of her off-key little lullabies to Celia and decided he'd go up for a cuddle with his girl.

Only it wasn't the bot. "I don't think those are the actual lyrics," he informed her.

She shrugged, not looking at him. He watched her smooth out one of Celia's little curls. "It's been a long time since I sang a baby to sleep." Her eyes finally met his and she quickly looked away.

He realized belatedly that he'd been giving her a fond smile. "Sorry. Must be a strange look for you to see on me."

"Not really," she breathed as he held out his hand to guide her downstairs away from the sleeping baby. "Though that would certainly be easier. How was the show?" she asked before he could follow up on that.

"Wearying. Not much for crowds," he explained.

She shook her head. "You know, you're more like him than I thought you'd be."

He forced himself not to scowl at her. It was a discussion he'd had to have far too many times since he'd woken up himself again. "Wrong way 'round, pet. He's like me."

"Okay," she said, in a tone that just made him more furious.

"Look, I do know something about this, you see. Was my skin and my brain it borrowed for a century; and I certainly know the difference between having its thoughts running through my brain and being free from them."

"But, all those years, I mean, all the stuff that happened--"

"Wasn't done by me! Why is that so bloody hard to understand? I wasn't there. Remembering it is bad enough, but being blamed for it--"

"Okay!" She held up her hands.

Spike rubbed his temples. He hadn't meant to go off on her like that, but she'd hit one very sore spot.

"You still go by Spike," she pointed out very carefully.

He smiled ruefully. "Lends me a certain dangerous air I otherwise lack."

She looked down at her hands and then tilted her head up to consider him. "I don't think he thinks of it like that. To him it's like he's still you, you know. Like, he's still William, but with just a very dramatic lifestyle choice or something."

"You seem to know him awfully well," he realized aloud.

"We've been working together for a long time," she mumbled, dropping her eyes.

But the guilty expression on her face forced another realization as well. "My god, you're bedding him!"

"Don't wake up the baby!" she hissed, looking utterly mortified.

Her warning came too late, but frankly he was glad for a way to end the conversation. He tucked Celia's head under his chin and laid her down on the bed with him. "Mum will be home soon," he cooed, praying it was true.


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The blonde stuck his head into the darkened room. The other two boys glared at him.

"You're late," one accused.

"Yeah, about that. Um, guys, we may have a problem. Buffy's gone. But also, she's kinda not."


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Stay tuned!